Wife still cheating. I just filed for D - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 08:20 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Read up you need this

http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0LEV...38jvGD4YnK.DM-

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post #32 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 08:29 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Oh, look! Your wife. She is in lights, now!
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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk
http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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post #33 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 08:41 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Quote:
Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
"You've been my enemy for some time now. Hopefully some day you won't be. Honestly, though, that's up to you. To achieve that, you'll have to stop doing exactly the types of things that enemies do to one another.

Still... you will NEVER again be my friend. At best you'll be the mother of my children, but in all other ways you'll be as close to a non-entity to me as possible.

You'll be the person at the checkout counter at the grocery store, the person that delivers my mail, or the person that brings my lunch to me -- you'll have the opportunity to interact with me in very specific ways only, and therefore see glimpses of a singular facet of my life, but you'll NEVER again be given the opportunity to exist within my inner circle."

No more talk of ending the affair! For as long as you're saying that crap, she knows that you're firmly within her thrall.
Gus is spot on as usual!!!!!!!!!
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post #34 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 08:45 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Tell her that friends don't treat you the way she has treated you. They don't cheat and lie.

Tell her that you can be civil for the children, but never friends.
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post #35 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 09:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Ok. Just texted my response to WW's string of texts from a couple hours earlier. I said "we aren't friends. You have treated me like an enemy for a long time now. I'm not staying over there for Christmas or anything else. We can talk for a minute when it concerns kids or divorce, but that's it. Let me know when you are ready to pick kids up tomorrow."

She said "OK. You had them for thanksgiving so I will have them for christmas."

Then I texted her dad and told him.

I'm not really sad tonight. Just kind of numb or unemotional. Usually the mornings and day time are my worst. But I'm still kind of stuck hoping she will end the affair and agree to reconcile. Hopefully that goes away pretty soon.
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post #36 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:01 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Stay strong, you are doing the right thing. She knows the affair is a sham and is grasping at straws to keep you. I am in a close race with what you are doing and am hearing the exact same lines, do not fall for them. I got the exact same line when I told her I was moving out, she said we can be in the same house and just not see each other. She said she read the books I had previously asked her to.

Take the time alone to explore things that make you happy, read, hit the gym, hang out after work with others. Anything that might make you better.

You found her out, moved out, and she continued. Game over. Put your attention to the kids to make sure they know they are loved. But be yourself and don't fall for her bag of tricks.
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post #37 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:03 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Where are you staying now?

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #38 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:15 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Her boyfriend should never be allowed to enter the house you own, under any circumstances. If you're living out of your house, you need to make sure you've protected yourself from her potential claim that you've abandoned your home and family. Talk to your attorney and make sure you've protected yourself. He might have to write a letter to her.

If her solution for the kids at Christmas is acceptable to you, then fine. Otherwise, she gets the kids on Christmas Eve and you get the Christmas Day. Or something like that. The attorney can include this in the letter along with the stipulation that no strange men will be in the presence of the children until the divorce is final, and a therapist's recommendation must be followed on how and when to introduce him.
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post #39 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:23 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

The only way to deal with an emotional abuser/narcissist is to go no contact. Sorry you're going through this OP. Praying your life gets a lot better for you, soon. The new year is right around the corner, stay hopeful.

''Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time.'' - Unknown
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post #40 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:26 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

I am not sure you leaving was the right thing. She cheated - she should be the one to leave!

And she could accuse you of abandonment and get full custody of the kids.

She could move her boyfriend in there and as others have said, that should never happen. Your kids should never be around him. These are conditions you have to enforce.

Go back to the house and ask her to go live with her boyfriend. I am assuming this is a physical affair right ?


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post #41 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:39 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
Today though, she is back to acting like her typical wayward self. She has a tone like she is perfectly fine and wants us to be friends for the kids sake.

I have been telling her not to speak to me at all unless it's an emergency for the kids. I said to call my mom if she needs to know anything about the kids or arrange to pick up/drop off. She said "we have to be friends since we have kids together. We can't be enemies like you are making us out to be."

I don't really know how to respond.
"My friends don't betray me. And I don't stay friends with people who do. We will be co-parents from now on. That's all. You need to let me know anything, text me."

Look for the thread by Lonely Husband 42301. He did what you're doing, he was ready to walk away. He left her. For good. And because of that, she REALLY BELIEVED him that he was done. And THAT was what it took for his wife to get her head out of her ass. And then she went after him. Followed him. Begged him. Snot running down her face crying kind of begging. Because SHE KNEW he was going to be all right without her.

You're making the right moves, but it's obvious you're still waiting for her to 'convince' you to call it off. Dude, you have to be REALLY WILLING to pull the plug. And if that gets her to wake up, great. If not, you're better off without her.
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post #42 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

I'm staying with my parents. That's the only way I can have the kids during the week, since I go to work before school and daycare opens.

I've been fighting this a few months. She told me to leave a few times, but I told her I wasn't leaving my house. She left a couple times but that didn't last but a week. She told me to sleep in spare bed a few times but I said no, I am staying in my own bed.

I talked to lawyer for a couple weeks before I left to make sure she couldn't say I abandoned or anything. Lawyer said he can also put a stipulation in the divorce that the kids are not allowed to meet any significant others until the divorce is final.

She just texted back "I haven't treated you like an enemy." Also said, "thanks for telling my father."
I didn't respond.
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post #43 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:43 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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1 more thing: her dad and his side of the family were never exposed to and know nothing. Can I send her dad a message and say "I just wanted you to know I divorced your daughter. She has been having an affair and refused to end it. I still care about you and the rest of the family and will always help with anything you need".

She will be mad but I don't want her to lie to them and introduce the affair partner as someone she just started dating.
Yes, you expose to all her important people. Technically, however, you're only supposed to expose if you're trying to save the marriage. Are you?
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post #44 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:47 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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She just texted back "I haven't treated you like an enemy." Also said, "thanks for telling my father."
I didn't respond.
I can't help it. I would respond one more time. "Really? You f*ck over your friends? I'd hate to see how poorly you treat your enemies."
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post #45 of 582 (permalink) Old 11-27-2016, 12:44 AM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Quote:
Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
Ok. Just texted my response to WW's string of texts from a couple hours earlier. I said "we aren't friends. You have treated me like an enemy for a long time now. I'm not staying over there for Christmas or anything else. We can talk for a minute when it concerns kids or divorce, but that's it. Let me know when you are ready to pick kids up tomorrow."

She said "OK. You had them for thanksgiving so I will have them for christmas."

Then I texted her dad and told him.

I'm not really sad tonight. Just kind of numb or unemotional. Usually the mornings and day time are my worst. But I'm still kind of stuck hoping she will end the affair and agree to reconcile. Hopefully that goes away pretty soon.
it will take awhile for your heart to sync up to your brain. It's still sees her for who you though she was. Love is blind.

If she does come around it'll probably be for a false R. Then you get to go through this again for nothing.
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