Wife still cheating. I just filed for D - Page 33 - Talk About Marriage
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post #481 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 04:10 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

collin8550,
You indicate you feel happy when she plead and feel down when she does not. You need to get out of this mindset. It may be the reason you feel down and it also shows you still have some feelings towards her.

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post #482 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-16-2017, 08:38 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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collin8550,
You indicate you feel happy when she plead and feel down when she does not. You need to get out of this mindset. It may be the reason you feel down and it also shows you still have some feelings towards her.
This could also be a sign of low self esteem, so get that checked out, too.
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post #483 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 01:16 AM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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This could also be a sign of low self esteem, so get that checked out, too.
And an absolute #3 in DeMello's "Awareness" Did you ever check that book out Collin? It's on Pdf

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #484 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-17-2017, 11:13 AM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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post #485 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 10:43 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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The divorce will be final around March. We have a 1 year waiting period in my state. But there is a bill in the state Senate to have it reduced to 6 months.
She has made comments before about "still being able to salvage the marriage before the divorce is final". So I assume she will bother me more as we get close to finalizing the divorce.

But it makes me mad how she said I was being a jerk by not helping her move the boxes in the yard. I want so bad to remind her of everything she did to me. But I don't want to argue and make her think I care about her.

But as y'all mentioned, I have tried before last year when she said she wasn't going to talk to OM anymore. And after a month she was back sneaking around. They need me for their relationship to work. I'm not going thru that again.
Don't pine after crazy. Remember you need a decent person to have a good relationship. That ain't her anymore. Your life is about to get really good if you keep looking forward not looking back. Think of Lots wife, don't let her turn you into a pillar of salt.
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post #486 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 05:11 AM
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I have talked to quite a few women on POF recently. It's a good confidence booster. But it is amazing how every divorced woman on there was cheated on by her husband. I have yet to meet one yet that admits to cheating herself. Something tells me they may be lying.
This is an interesting topic. I wonder what spin my H will tell to future women about me. I am too cold and boring? Doubt he will claim I cheated on him. Sure it will be believable because I have believed him for years. Doubt he will offer real details about him sneaking behind my back with OW. In the future I will be hesitant to believe a divorced man's story too. How do you know if their story is real?

Do you think it would be bad to ask for details or proof somewhere before serious dating happened?
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post #487 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 03:24 PM
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Yeah thestarsarefalling, I had the same thoughts about asking for proof from girls about wether they cheated before or not. But we will probably be able to tell once we get that close with someone. Also, I'm just going to stay away from anyone that has a questionable past.

Regarding the post about still having feelings for WW, I thought about that possibility. There may be some truth to that, but there is no way I'm going back.

And I do feel like my self esteem is low right now. But it gets better when I exercise and dress up nice and stuff like that. I just need to do it more often. And I'm about to check that book out as soon as I finish typing this.

Also, WW finally stopped bothering me. I haven't heard from her at all today. It's been nearly 2 weeks of her sending hundreds of texts asking me to come home and get back together. So maybe her and OM patched things up. Which is good because it reminds me of what would happen if I believed her texts and gave in and did move back home.
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post #488 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Regarding the post about still having feelings for WW, I thought about that possibility. There may be some truth to that, but there is no way I'm going back.


Good for you considering the fact how much she took it for granted the marriage and your welfare while she was assessing the pros and cons of her affair.
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post #489 of 503 (permalink) Old 05-21-2017, 09:37 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Collin.... when your picker is sharp.... you just know. BSers always tell on themselves, if you listen close

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #490 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 02:41 PM
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WW has been texting for 2 weeks trying to get me to come home. I've been ignoring it all. She said she told OM she didn't want to be with him and wanted to be with me instead. I continued to ignore and she finally slacked off the past 2 days. Last night she texted so I told her to stop texting forever unless it involves the kids.
She wrote an angry response saying I just pretended to care for her before I filed for divorce, so I would look like the good guy (whatever that means). So I wrote back that I filed for divorce because I was tired of her lies and I'm tired of hearing her lies everyday still even though we are separated.
So she responded this morning that she hasn't lied. She said "I told OM I wanted to be with you and not him. You are my first choice but I know now you are never coming back and I'm okay with that. And since I can't have you I talked to OM. If I'm not with you im going to be with him."
So I ignored that and she sent some more texts about the kids. I answered those and she said "bye".
Is there any chance this could be the end of it and she will finally stop bothering me? Or will it be right back to her begging me to come home next time they fight or she feels like a bad mother? How long do most waywards like her keep up with bugging the BS like that?

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post #491 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 02:59 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
WW has been texting for 2 weeks trying to get me to come home. I've been ignoring it all. She said she told OM she didn't want to be with him and wanted to be with me instead.
Awww, isn't that sweet?

As if it was up to her, lol.
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post #492 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 03:04 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
WW has been texting for 2 weeks trying to get me to come home. I've been ignoring it all. She said she told OM she didn't want to be with him and wanted to be with me instead. I continued to ignore and she finally slacked off the past 2 days. Last night she texted so I told her to stop texting forever unless it involves the kids.
She wrote an angry response saying I just pretended to care for her before I filed for divorce, so I would look like the good guy (whatever that means). So I wrote back that I filed for divorce because I was tired of her lies and I'm tired of hearing her lies everyday still even though we are separated.
So she responded this morning that she hasn't lied. She said "I told OM I wanted to be with you and not him. You are my first choice but I know now you are never coming back and I'm okay with that. And since I can't have you I talked to OM. If I'm not with you im going to be with him."
So I ignored that and she sent some more texts about the kids. I answered those and she said "bye".
Is there any chance this could be the end of it and she will finally stop bothering me? Or will it be right back to her begging me to come home next time they fight or she feels like a bad mother? How long do most waywards like her keep up with bugging the BS like that?
It's never going to end, you will just get used to the crazy. Eventually you will be able to block it when your kids are older. Your wife disordered person, see it for what it is. It's really about her it has nothing to do with you.
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post #493 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 03:17 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Quote:
Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
WW has been texting for 2 weeks trying to get me to come home. I've been ignoring it all. She said she told OM she didn't want to be with him and wanted to be with me instead. I continued to ignore and she finally slacked off the past 2 days. Last night she texted so I told her to stop texting forever unless it involves the kids.
She wrote an angry response saying I just pretended to care for her before I filed for divorce, so I would look like the good guy (whatever that means). So I wrote back that I filed for divorce because I was tired of her lies and I'm tired of hearing her lies everyday still even though we are separated.
So she responded this morning that she hasn't lied. She said "I told OM I wanted to be with you and not him. You are my first choice but I know now you are never coming back and I'm okay with that. And since I can't have you I talked to OM. If I'm not with you im going to be with him."
So I ignored that and she sent some more texts about the kids. I answered those and she said "bye".
Is there any chance this could be the end of it and she will finally stop bothering me? Or will it be right back to her begging me to come home next time they fight or she feels like a bad mother? How long do most waywards like her keep up with bugging the BS like that?
:b sflag:

HE dumped HER and now she is in damage control. STOP engaging her, it is what she wants damnit.

A liar never tells a lie, you know that right? She is not OK with not getting you back, hence text madness.

She is an insecure and low self esteem person who is verbally putting her needs above the family

and for her to say that knowing you don't want her back, says everything about her character, or

"lack of." Tell her to take "sloppy seconds," and if this is the norm, you will have to deal with this

for a LOT longer than you think. Get a co-parenting app where you don't have to listen to this sheet.

She wants to tear you down to where you will, eventually, take her back. She is in this for the

long-game, trust me. She wants that emotional connection she had with you at one time, then

"thought" she had with POSOM, now he is out the door so she chose you. Did she "choose" you or were you

her "only" option? Have a family go-between to handle the BS texts or set up the co-parent app.

Hopefully some posters can give you links to them, I'm not a parent. She sets you up with kids needs

and turns it into an anger dump / fishing lure. It's not rocket science.

You can tell her to F the he!! off, burn in he!!, call her the C word or the B word and she will

NOT let up. She wants her Jesus Christ, her savior, her Mr. Fixer, her Mr. Nice Guy to save her

sorry arse. So yelling we are through ain't gonna help ya much. She refuses to believe and

is re-writing history and blameshifting. Cut off her avenues of communication, you cut off the

snake's head. Or you could....... being I am a sociopath when you cut me.... send her this

"I am ecstatic in the fact you and POSOM are going to try again. I wish you nothing but the

happiness you both so richly deserve." Send that when you have the kids.... and turn your

phone off for about three days LOL

This will NOT end until you choose it to end Collin

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #494 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 03:21 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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And since I can't have you I talked to OM. If I'm not with you im going to be with him."
Lol.

Now that's the way to demonstrate remorse. By proclaiming you the winner of the "Plan A/Plan B" sweepstakes. She's a piece of work OP.
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post #495 of 503 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 03:38 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

She's a child. Literally. No maturity at all. None.
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