Great responses. Thank y'all.
So do y'all think she is crazier than the typical WW or exactly the same?
We go thru this same cycle every month or 6 weeks where she texts wanting to get back together, I ignore, then she acts like it never happened and she goes on acting happy and content and eventually mean and then back to trying again. This time though, she was acting more desperate and trying to get me to come home longer than before. ...
According to statics there is no such thing as a "typical WW" because all WW's are atypical! LOL
(~she says speaking as a former WW)
, a very, VERY small number of WW's are good people who were stupid. I'd give an educated guess of less than 5%, because it is very rare for a person to be a good person and do such an evil thing. Yet there are a few who are good at their foundation and yet they're hit with the perfect storm, do a horrible thing, and then truly repent of it and do the work to repair what they destroyed.
A good portion of WW's are VERY mixed up in their priorities--that is to say rather than making their marriage and their family a priority, they put the focus on their own SELF or their right to "happiness" etc. They are entitled to everything they want! Thus, if the marriage isn't "making them happy" at the moment, they dump the marriage with no looking back. Usually this type of WW would be the walkaway wife or the one who has a history of jumping from place to place, and they feel little to no remorse. In their view why should they? Their #1 priority is self- AND their happiness or not is someone else's responsibility!
Another good portion of WW's are too proud to admit they made a mistake. You can tell that they know they DID make the wrong choice, but rather than eat some crow and recover, they go to crazy lengths in order to justify what they know is wrong. It gets more and More and MORE absurd, but they still stiffen their neck and get all stubborn and refuse to take the dent to their personal pride. You can see the train wreck coming. They can see the train wreck coming too, but they refuse to stop and so they end up the rest of their life living with a redneck in a trailer park because "he's the love of her life" or some malarkey. Okay what can you do?
The last group of WW's are like your WW. You can't explain it: they are just crazy. The more you try to understand it, the more confused you get...and that's because you can't understand mental illness. Something within is literally BROKEN (even beyond the self-centered, entitled ones) and the more you look for similarities or triggers or .... the more YOU feel crazy because you can't understand them! It's SO PERPLEXING!! But the thing with these WW's is that it's not you being unable to think--it's them. They are inconsistent. Often they act and react based on what they are feeling IN THE MOMENT, not based on intellect or on a conclusion they've reached. So you can't put them in the analysis machine and come out with something like "OH! If I do X and Y, she feels A and B ...so if I don't want her to feel A and B I should stop doing X and Y" (You know? A consistent conclusion!) Today if you do X and Y she makes love to you...and tomorrow if you do X and Y she rages and leaves you. So... WTF?
she's not the most crazy WW I've ever seen, nor is she that much crazier than some I've seen. But I will say that something is not right with her. You mentioned yourself it's a cycle. Normal people with healthy mental health don't cycle, and they don't cycle that REGULARLY. You can almost put this on the calendar: "Oh next week will be crazy week." Well that's a clue right there! She's got issues and they ARE mental health issues! Now, I can't diagnose based on an anonymous forum--clearly! But I recognize mental health problems when I see--just sayin'