Wife still cheating. I just filed for D - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 01:30 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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@Aftercare can you at least post the OP into the new post #1? The thread is kind of creepy... like some distopia where people disappear and nothing is left behind


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post #77 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 01:35 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Affaircare is a she.

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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.
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post #78 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 02:03 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Usually a sign that someone has been not just banned, but also had their account removed and posts deleted. The Banned Members thread was useful for figuring out who it was.
Not deleted completely nor banned. See post #63.

Some software FU no doubt.
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post #79 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

What the h*** happened to the thread?

Anyway, I blocked WW from texting or calling my cell because she wouldn't stop. She called my mom complaining to her. Then she called again and my mom gave me the phone.

WW was trying to ask what I'm doing. One thing that stuck out to me was when she said it makes her mad that I'm acting like the good guy in all this.

She also said "how is you filing for divorce going to help me end the affair?" I said it's not supposed to, but it's going to let me get away and feel better and find someone that isn't having an affair.

She was wanting me to take one of the kids a day early today, but I said I would rather stick to our schedule. She said she was just trying to help me by giving him to me early so I won't be sad and missing them too much.

She also said she thinks I am trying to make it hard on the kids because I know that's the only thing that will get to her. I said no, but I wish I would have told her that any pain the kids have is because of her and her affair.
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post #80 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 04:58 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Well done. You handled it perfectly, except I too wish you had reminded her that the breaking up the family was all on her. What a load of crap that she wanted to do you favor by pawning the kids off on you. Either the kid was interfering in her relationship with OM, or she was looking to create an opportunity to speak with you in person. Hard to know.

Do not do her any favors. Continue to be stone cold and teach her about consequences.
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post #81 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 05:32 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
What the h*** happened to the thread?

Anyway, I blocked WW from texting or calling my cell because she wouldn't stop. She called my mom complaining to her. Then she called again and my mom gave me the phone.

WW was trying to ask what I'm doing. One thing that stuck out to me was when she said it makes her mad that I'm acting like the good guy in all this.

She also said "how is you filing for divorce going to help me end the affair?" I said it's not supposed to, but it's going to let me get away and feel better and find someone that isn't having an affair.

She was wanting me to take one of the kids a day early today, but I said I would rather stick to our schedule. She said she was just trying to help me by giving him to me early so I won't be sad and missing them too much.

She also said she thinks I am trying to make it hard on the kids because I know that's the only thing that will get to her. I said no, but I wish I would have told her that any pain the kids have is because of her and her affair.
The bolded bit says it all collin.

Paraphrasing your WW "Damnit! Why won't you let me keep eating cake?!?!? Oh, and why aren't you wiping my mouth for me while I'm at it as well?"

Your response was flawless. Made me stand up and clap. It's never an easy or pleasant journey out of infidelity, but walking it like you're now doing makes it the shortest path possible.

Keep it up man.

"If you can keep your head while all those about you are losing theirs, then perhaps you have misunderstood the situation." - Daniel Keys Moran - from The Long Run

You don't really own anything you can't hold onto at a dead run... -Anonymous-
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post #82 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 06:27 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Stop any engagement your actions have told her everything she needs to know. She wants to eat more cake at your expense. Any interaction will just draw you back in.

"I gotta go"is the best response.
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post #83 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 07:17 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Stop any engagement your actions have told her everything she needs to know. She wants to eat more cake at your expense. Any interaction will just draw you back in.

"I gotta go"is the best response.
At this point, and understanding that you've still got to interact with her re the kids, limiting your response to marc's suggestion (above) for any other inquiries on her part outside of that is good advice.

Give ground only when it's to your advantage. Like judo - use the inertia of their stupidity against them.

And never telegraph your punches.

"If you can keep your head while all those about you are losing theirs, then perhaps you have misunderstood the situation." - Daniel Keys Moran - from The Long Run

You don't really own anything you can't hold onto at a dead run... -Anonymous-

Last edited by lostmyreligion; 12-03-2016 at 07:32 PM.
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post #84 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 07:21 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

I was where you are four years ago. I don't know if mine ever cheated, didn't matter walking out of

the M was enough for me. I know you want to get away from the pain any way you can, 110% normal.

I can promise you, once you fall down the rabbit hole.... it is cold and dark. But after you come

back you will be a stronger person. Within a month of coming out..... she was reaching constantly.

By then I was done..... she still reaches to this day. The only way to get past the hurt is to face it head on.

A-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
B-We know what we are, but know not what we may be
C-Never make the person in your present pay for the sins committed by people from your past
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post #85 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 07:32 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Now she wants to do what is in your best interest?

I am glad you saw through that bullshyte...


"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #86 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-03-2016, 09:21 PM
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Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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post #87 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 05:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Should I start a new thread since this one got all messed up?
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post #88 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 07:13 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Forum index mentions an update within the past couple of hours, but I'm not able to see it.

Between that and some of the other ongoing oddities, it might be time to hit up the admins for some attention.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #89 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 07:32 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Now posts are missing from the beginning and the end. What's going on?
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post #90 of 422 (permalink) Old 12-04-2016, 07:33 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

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Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post
Wow!

According to the above, the WW is insane and has @NoChoice but to "Fly headlong into the Flame".

I would say this is nonsense....the deed says otherwise.
@SunCMars would it not be delusional to expect different from the moth? It is not so much about insanity as it is simply a lack of intellectual ability. The moth, much like the cheater, does not understand the flame is death, it lacks the necessary intellect to make such a determination. It cannot extrapolate, compile and project and does indeed have no choice. An accident is a fools destiny.

Peace and long life
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