Wife still cheating. I just filed for D - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:12 PM Thread Starter
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Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Found out about my wifes affair a few months ago. She left and then we decided to try recovery after a week and she moved back home. I improved a lot but she started back contacting her affair partner and sneaking around.

I surprised her on the day before thanksgiving by informing her I filed for divorce a couple weeks prior and was moving out the next morning. I told her I didn't want to have any contact with her and she could keep the kids a week and I would keep them a week. They are 3 and 5 years old. I told her that if she eventually wants to end the affair and try a real recovery, to let me know. But for the meantime I want no contact at all.

When I told her I was leaving and the following morning, she was crying and saying she just wanted time to end the affair on her own. I told her it doesn't work that way. I wasn't mean or anything, but told her its too late and my decision is final.

I still have a few things to get from the house, so she caught me yesterday. She was saying all kind of things like from wanting me to stay at home with kids for Christmas and special events to us being "roommates". She asked if I was going to go out partying and stuff and sleep with other people. I told her I cant sleep with anyone until I heal from her affair. She then asked if we could have sex, but I told her no.

She texted me a few more times that evening. But I told her I didn't want to talk and that I was going to block her if she kept texting me. She texted me a picture of a marriage book I tried to get her to read the past few months, to let me know she was finally reading it.

She is acting like she is improving all the things I complained about, but she still has never mentioned ending the affair. I guess she wants me to continue being a babysitter and financial support so she can continue texting her affair partner everyday. She wants us to work on the marriage while she talks to him everyday, thinking she will eventually like me better and be able to quit him for good.

So what should I do? The first day or two when I told her I was leaving, I felt good. Like I was free and she would finally see how hard life is without me. But since I broke my no contact with her, I am depressed a little today and thinking about going back home. Its going to really be sad tomorrow when she takes the kids for a week and I am alone.

Should I go completely dark with no contact, or talk a little when she contacts me? I told her I will work on the marriage one day if she ends the affair and if she doesn't, I will already be well on my way to a new and better life.

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post #2 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:18 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

How generous of her to offer to be your roommate. If she tells you that she still needs "closure" with her affair partner, tell her that the only thing that needs "closure" is her legs.

You're handling this right. Do not let weakness overtake you. Do not have sex with her, do not kiss her, do not reaffirm her or comfort her in any way. She'll see you as less of a man and be less attracted to you. Just make sure she understands that your reconciliation offer has an expiration date, and it's approaching soon. She has a lot of work to do and she hasn't even gotten started.
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post #3 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:20 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Stand your ground, she is trying to have her cake and eat it too.

She will continue to lie to you and tell you what she thinks she wants to hear, she never thought you would actually stand up for yourself.

Bravo to you it is a hard thing to do, make sure you get tested for STD's



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post #4 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:22 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

I also wanted to add, make sure you do not sleep with her she might try to get pregnant and really trap you further.



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post #5 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:54 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Make the separation official and then go out and have some fun. You don't have to get into a relationship, but some dancing and a ONS or two might do you a world of good.

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post #6 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Thanks everyone. Should I not talk to her at all, or just enough to let her know I am moving on just fine?

I've been tested for STD'S already. And we haven't had sex or really any physical touch in many months. I tried to touch or rub her shoulders or anything and she would just move away.

When she mentioned being roommates, I told her we have been roommates for the past several months and it hurts me too much.
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post #7 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 01:20 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Talk to her only to coordinate things for the kids. Otherwise, stay dark.

She has shown you very clearly she does not have your best interest in mind by asking you to be roommates.

She has shown you she is willing to emotionally manipulate you.

She has shown you she is unwilling to break away from her affair partner.

Isn't amazing how she was unwilling to even discuss things with you until she found out you filed for divorce? This is what happens when a BS responds with strength. If you saw strength worked well to this point, why would you even consider talking to her now?

I am not suggesting reconciliation is impossible at this time, but she is far from pulling her head completely from her rectum.

Nothing she says matters at this point unless it is demonstrated in action.

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post #8 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 01:30 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Quote:
Originally Posted by collin8550 View Post
Found out about my wifes affair a few months ago. She left and then we decided to try recovery after a week and she moved back home. I improved a lot but she started back contacting her affair partner and sneaking around.

I surprised her on the day before thanksgiving by informing her I filed for divorce a couple weeks prior and was moving out the next morning. I told her I didn't want to have any contact with her and she could keep the kids a week and I would keep them a week. They are 3 and 5 years old. I told her that if she eventually wants to end the affair and try a real recovery, to let me know. But for the meantime I want no contact at all.

When I told her I was leaving and the following morning, she was crying and saying she just wanted time to end the affair on her own. I told her it doesn't work that way. I wasn't mean or anything, but told her its too late and my decision is final.

I still have a few things to get from the house, so she caught me yesterday. She was saying all kind of things like from wanting me to stay at home with kids for Christmas and special events to us being "roommates". She asked if I was going to go out partying and stuff and sleep with other people. I told her I cant sleep with anyone until I heal from her affair. She then asked if we could have sex, but I told her no.

She texted me a few more times that evening. But I told her I didn't want to talk and that I was going to block her if she kept texting me. She texted me a picture of a marriage book I tried to get her to read the past few months, to let me know she was finally reading it.

She is acting like she is improving all the things I complained about, but she still has never mentioned ending the affair. I guess she wants me to continue being a babysitter and financial support so she can continue texting her affair partner everyday. She wants us to work on the marriage while she talks to him everyday, thinking she will eventually like me better and be able to quit him for good.

So what should I do? The first day or two when I told her I was leaving, I felt good. Like I was free and she would finally see how hard life is without me. But since I broke my no contact with her, I am depressed a little today and thinking about going back home. Its going to really be sad tomorrow when she takes the kids for a week and I am alone.

Should I go completely dark with no contact, or talk a little when she contacts me? I told her I will work on the marriage one day if she ends the affair and if she doesn't, I will already be well on my way to a new and better life.
You're doing exactly what you should be doing. (ETA: The only things I might do differently are as follows... 1) Any and all conversations regarding your love and/or sex life going forward should be met w/ a rather curt "My love life is no longer either your business or your concern." ...and that's it. 2) No more conversations along the lines of "If you end the affair we can be together." Seriously, f*ck that noise. She had her shot at reconciliation, and she refused to do the ONE THING that she absolutely had to do in order for it to work. That ship has sailed, so stop it w/ the "pick me" dance. She's shown you what continuing in marriage w/ her will require of you, so take that for what it is.)

Oh, and if her AP is married, expose the affair to his wife.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."

Last edited by GusPolinski; 11-26-2016 at 08:13 PM.
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post #9 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 01:46 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Spend time reading other threads you will be amazed at your current show of strength. I have a collection of all time great posts to share you as you progress. Read this thread on the 180 and print it out. The attitude you want to project to your WW (except in the case of the children) is no different then a sales clerk. Usually friendly but being firm and unemotional in all other cases: Critical Readings For Separation and Divorce - LoveShack.org Community Forums

Continue to prepare for divorce. Consider carefully the custody laws of your state and strive to maximize your custody beyond 50/50. Any adjustment, any hardship you will encounter as a single parent your exWW will as well. Here is a classic from TAM


A strategy*

Author: @MEM11363
Editor: *@Marduk

If you are reading this it's because the most important person in the world - betrayed you. Sorry you're here. The good news is that you are the product of thousands of generations of clever, resourceful, tough ancestors who navigated flood, famine and ice age and consequently much stronger than you realize. You might love and want your partner, but you don't need them. Accept that and allow it to inform your actions to maximize your outcome. Conversely, choose to believe and act as if you need your spouse, and bring your worst fears to fruition. Love is your friend, need and neediness are your enemy.*

From the point of discovery forward you ought to focus on regaining your emotional equilibrium. It's hard to do because you naturally feel disoriented. Your primary human anchor just pulled up. Pick a trusted friend with a balanced view of your marriage and talk to them. Exercise is critical. Sleep may be tough. Catch up on weekends if possible. Try to prioritize this stuff until you've gotten through the worst of the disorientation. Avoid alcohol, drugs and opposite sex entanglements.

With that as prelude, the guidelines below are intended to help you navigate the Rapids:
- Assess the overall marriage
- Confirm that your spouse feels the same way
- Execute either an ALL IN reconciliation or the cleanest possible extraction from the marriage

I'm going to write this gender neutral - with one exception. Physical intimidation is not only maritally toxic - it may come back to bite you hard in family court. Pretend your spouse is recording, nay videotaping every conversation.*

Assessment: The goal is to search your soul and/or your gut to decide whether you think the marriage worth saving. Might help you to ask yourself some tough questions. Thing is, most folks feel some amount of love when they marry. And love is a beautiful thing. But for the long game, and marriage is the ultimate long game - compatibility rules. Love sans compatibility is the worst pairing of all. Virtually guarantees unhappiness. No oath, no vow will stop an unhappy person from cheating - either via a continuation of the affair or a brand new one. So roll back to just before you 'think' the affair started and answer the following queries.*

1. From that vantage if you could choose all over again, would you marry this person?*
2. How would your partner answer that question had they been asked it pre-affair?
3. Do/did you love each other?
4. Are you compatible?*
5. How much did my spouse accept and/or seek my company?
6. My non sexual touch
7. Sex*
8. Overall did they do a good job of making me feel loved/important?
9. Did I do a good job of making them feel loved/important?
10. Was your partner overall trustworthy, reliable and focused on you? 11. Or did they have a wandering eye, a flirtatious posture towards others.*
12. Did they let you marry them, or want to marry you?*
13. Do they feel sick about betraying you?
14. Or only sick they have been caught?
15. Or only sick at the prospect of being exposed to friends/family?
16. Or only sick at the thought of having to end the affair?*
17. Have they cheated on prior partners?*

After answering those questions you ought to have a good feel about recon or divorce.*

If you want to reconcile, it is time to discover what your partner wants.*
1. Do they want to stay married/try and reconcile?
2. Why did they cheat?*
3. What are they willing to DO to rebuild trust and heal?
4. Write a no contact letter?
5. Make a no contact call in your presence?
6. End the affair without one last get together for closure?
7. Provide transparency via phones and passwords etc?
8. Resume (if the affair interrupted it) a normal sex life with you?
9. Provide you with whatever details you want including a timeline of the affair?
10. Transfer departments or change employers entirely if their AP is from work?*
11. Take a test for STDs
12. Take a pregnancy test

Regarding (2), listen carefully. Might learn stuff ends up improving your marriage. The responses to (2) range from: we had a good marriage and I behaved selfishly and that is entirely on me. To you are the worst spouse since Henry the eighth and that is the ONLY reason I cheated. What they say might however, have real merit. For instance: you stopped sleeping with me years ago, or you consistently rejected my requests to spend time together. If you were the primary cause of a weak marriage, you need to decide if you can fix it. And you should acknowledge that and commit to fixing it.*

Confirmation: This phase is mostly about observable behavior. Words and in this case vows - are cheap. Actions WILL confirm or contradict your assessment. Is their primary emotion remorse or resentment. The stuff they committed to doing up above - are they doing it without pressure. Or is it you dragging them along. Considerate and kind about your heightened anxiety level? Or accusing you of being controlling?*

Execution: If you've both decided to try to recon, it's critical to accept the following:*
1. The more needy you seem, the less lovable you will be. This is every bit as unfair as it is true.*
2. People use the following phrase all the time: I was crying and begging them to stay
3. Crying is ok. It's about the loss of something you prized. It shows love.
4. Begging may be the single most toxic thing a betrayed spouse typically does. Crying means: You love them and are sad at the thought of losing them. Begging means you don't love yourself very much.*
5. If their affair partner is married or living with someone, you ought to contact that person and let them know what's been happening. There are several benefits to that, the best one is this. If your spouse has truly committed to NC, won't be a big deal. If they are still prioritizing their AP, you will get an angry reaction.*
6. If their AP is a coworker they frequently interact with, that's an inherently difficult situation. The focus should be on their prioritizing a transfer/company change.
7. Your perception of time is now different. Before Dday - you likely weren't nearly as impacted if they were running a bit late and didn't call. When it happens after Dday, you feel a lot more anxious. Thing is, if you call or text them every time they are officially one minute late, they will love you less. Doesn't mean you ought to be a doormat. If they are routinely way late without a call - that is a very bad sign. At minimum it means they are comfortable knowingly causing you intense distress.
8. Sex is a great litmus test for whether the recon is genuine. A WS who, upon discovery abandons, or continues to abandon the marital bed, is likely insincere.
9. Some folks advocate a zero tolerance shock and awe approach to demanding they stop the affair. This is a: choose right now one way or the other approach.*
10. Others are willing to compete with the AP over a period of time when faced with a WS who openly refuses to stop the affair. This is more likely a good strategy if you believe your pre-affair conduct was a significant contributor to the affair and want your spouse to see the 'new and improved' you before insisting they choose. And in some cases, this approach results in their choosing to end it of their own free will. Most folks find this competition period intensely stressful. If your partner is either selfish or has weak character, they will string this out as long as you allow. And will constantly move the goal posts for what you must do to win them back. This path MUST have a bright line end date.*
11. There are many paths to successful recon. However, a partner who continues a sexual relationship with their AP, while refusing to sleep with you, rarely reconciles. They tend to totally lose respect for you for tolerating it.*
12. Last but not least. You may be tempted to employ some extreme tactics in an effort to recon. These include your use of third parties either to advise of shame your partner. See examples below.*

Option 1: Attempting to cripple your partner so they CAN'T leave. If you go this route, eventually everyone you know will know that - you've turned into a psychopath - including your children and the family court judge. Good luck with that.*

BS: I just called the last of our friends and family and sent an email out to them as well. I told them what you did to me and the children. And asked them to contact you and tell you how wrong it is to destroy our family for a few cheap fvcks. I also contacted your employer and made a big fuss. I think they're going to fire you. And when I spoke to your AP's spouse, they told me they are going to try and work it out with your AP. And I also called the minister at our church. So go ahead and divorce me. Just know that you have no friends, your family is on my side, you will shortly be unemployed, you are unwelcome at our church and your AP is likely going to dump you. One last thing, I told the kids too. They were spitting mad.

Option 2: AKA - the voice of reason approach
BS: Picks one person who knows and loves their WS. Swears that person to secrecy and asks them to reach out to the WS and try and support them through the fog. The message to the friend is short and practical. I believe we had a good marriage and can recover. WS is lost in the fog. If you believe WS will end up regretting a divorce, maybe you can support me in helping them navigate out of the fog.*

Obviously there are many points on the spectrum between option 1 and option 2. A small modification to option 2 is to disclose to the partner of your spouse's AP. That person is in the same boat you are. That's actually a very effective step.

Here is the link*CWI - a strategy

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #10 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 01:49 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Here is a second classic and then I will stop for the day. Print both theses out and in the next few days as you stare at the walls read them and and start a journal.


Hobbies how to*

Hi. I'm sorry you're faced with this, but it's great you found this site. You'll get lots of advice here, mostly good, take what you want and don't be scared away from this site by the rest. The advice you've received thus far is very good.
Having said that, here's some of my advice&questions, some already mentioned:

1. Go see a GOOD lawyer IMMEDIATELY! Don't let her know you've been to see one. Just so you know your options and that you'll be acting from a position of knowledge of your legal situation.

2. Go buy a VAR (voice activated recorder) or a GoPro thingy immediately and use it to record all your interactions with her. She might try to falsely accuse you of domestic violence to the police. Better safe than sorry, and there have been betrayed husbands here who were hit with false DV charges. I know you probably think she wouldn't do that, but considering her cheating you don't know her as well as you did. As all of us who were betrayed thought we knew our partners. Furthermore, if possible, ask a friend to stay with you for a while under some false pretext, to act as a witness against her false allegations.

3. Start documenting your care and her (lack of) care for the kids immediately.I recommend you be as detailed as possible, and I recommend you send the details of the day every day to a good friend of yours or to an alternate e-mail account so you will have time-stamped proof in case of a custody battle. You hopefully won't needed, but if you do, it's better you have it. Don't let her know you're doing this. Once you'll see concrete progress in her actions and reconciliation, you can start stopping the documenting.

4. Set up individual counselling for yourself IMMEDIATELY! You need professional help in dealing with this level of betrayal&shock. Find someone with experience in infidelity and/or PTSD. That was paramount in bearing the pain and healing myself. This is a great thread on selecting a good IC - SurvivingInfidelity.com - Choosing an IC/MC [long post] . Also, read up on EMDR therapy - SurvivingInfidelity.com - Emdr is amazing .

5. Go see your doctor about STD testing. Be aware that if you have sex with her, you risk getting an STD and/or getting her pregnant.

6. C(ontinue to c)onfide in your friends&family about this. You need and deserve their support.

7. If the other man (coworker) has a wife/gf and had it at the time of the affair (though I think it's still ongoing), inform the wife/gf. She deserves to know, just as you deserved to know. Don't trust the other man or your wife that they've been told. Check out this - SurvivingInfidelity.com - Should I tell BW from 6-7 years ago? .

8. Make sure you eat, sleep and exercise as much as possible. If you're having trouble, talk to your doctor or a pharmacist. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. It's way too easy to spiral out of control. I stopped myself quite close to becoming an alcoholic in the aftermath of it all.

9. Google "No more mr. nice guy pdf", it's a great book available online for free that might be a source of great strength and self-esteem for you, as it was for me. Also, google "Codependent no more pdf", also available online for free. Another great book to read on this topic is "Married man sex life primer", I'd recommend you go to the library and get a copy of it, but that's more suitable for later on and can wait.

10. Go to the "I can relate" subforum here and check out the "Betrayed menz" thread on the first page. Read and post there, it's a great place for betrayed men.

11. If you are giving her yet another chance, she needs to go to IC at least for a month before you two even consider MC together. I recommend YOU find a good IC for HER, one that you will know has a no-nonsense approach to infidelity (knows that cheating is 100% cheater's fault,...) and go to her first session with her to make sure the counsellor knows all about the cheating. Only after that should you try MC again with her.

12. Google "How to help your spouse heal linda macdonald pdf", it's a great book available online for free that might help you two tremendously. Read it on your own at first. The best book for me on infidelity is "Not just friends", look it up in the library.

13. What was her and your childhood/youth like? Please, google "Toxic parents pdf", it's a great book available online for free. Also, check out "Families and how to survive them" in your library, it opened my eyes on the topic of childhood issues and how they connect to adult relationships.

14. I think it's important that you tell her that as a condition for you to attempt to reconcile with her is for her to write you a detailed timeline of the affair(s). Upon telling her, notify her you'll want her to undertake a polygraph test afterwards to ascertain you have the full truth. Tell her that lying will do more damage than any truth will.

15. A phrase that I've heard a lot here and with which I agree is that you must be willing to lose the marriage(relationship) to save it. You mustn't think of her as the prize and you mustn't approach this from a position of weakness, of you trying to win her back by being nice etc. You must get therapy, you must get into the mindset that you will be ok even if you divorce and that you will not settle for rugsweeping or anything less than her being fully remorseful and committed to redeeming herself and helping you heal.

16. If she continues to have any sort of contact with him instead of looking for a transfer/new job despite your demands, and if you'll want to stop the cheating, or if she'll continue to be unremorseful, talk to your lawayer about exposing her cheating to her friends&family, and definitely consider to SERVE HER WITH DIVORCE PAPERS. Remember, even if you serve her, you can always stop the divorce later if she proves remorseful etc. But it's a good wake-up call for the cheater that very often works.

17. A divorce would be hard on you and the kids. When it comes to them, it is, however, much better for the kids to not see you everyday if that means that they won't grow up in a toxic household due to their mom's cheating, disrespect,..., where their dad is being destroyed emotionally due to their mom's actions. What the kids need to grow up emotionally happy, mature and strong young adults is to have at least a part of their lives emotionally healthy and safe (i.e. the days they will spend with you), to have at least one parent (i.e. you) emotionally stable and healthy (and you can't be that if you remain with a cheating, unremorseful spouse) and to have access to a good children's therapist (it's up to you to get them to see a good therapist). Please, consult a good therapist for kids to hear his/her opinion before you decide to stay married to her because of the kids.

18. You DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE RIGHT NOW whether to give her another chance or not, whether to reconcile. That decision can wait for quite some time (but make sure waiting to make the decision doesn't hurt you legally, financially, physically/health-wise,... -> talk to your lawyer etc.). Remember, even if you start the divorce proceedings, you can stop them. And even if you finish the divorce proceedings, you can still reconcile with her despite divorcing her. If she's truly remorseful, she will be desperate to get you back even if you divorce her. And if she'll be willing to stay without you despite the divorce, it will be a good sign she's doing that not because she wants the financial,..., security of the marriage, but because of you. So again, no need to make quick decision.

Also, like others have said, it's a roller-coaster, being cheated on. It's one of the most shocking and traumatic things you'll ever experience in life. It is perfectly understandble to be dazed and confused from all this, to not know what exactly to do, to feel one thing one moment and another the next moment. As time goes by and you work on healing yourself, things will get considerably better.

What's crucial is that you don't make any really bad decisions in this first stage of being totally mentally fuc-ed up, like getting her pregnant, getting an STD, you cheating on her with someone else and thereby demeaning yourself, you becoming an alocoholic, crashing a car, beating him up and ending in jail etc.

19. Also, check out these two threads, I try to read them regularly - SurvivingInfidelity.com - I lost everything due to infidelity. And I survived. and SurvivingInfidelity.com - Calling all BSs... .

20. Most of all, keep talking to us, the more you talk to us, the more we can help you and support you!

Best wishes

xBBf, 28*
Lots of FOO&other issues, working it through therapy
Posts: 3320 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Continental Europe


How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #11 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 01:52 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Is her affair physical or emotional?
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post #12 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 02:39 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Any contact other than for the kids, business or D will only hurt you. Never answer a phone call directly. Keep the texts short and to the point.

When picking up or dropping off the kids do not engage!!! Just say "I gotta go" and leave.

Good advice from others "expose to other mans wife". I would also inform yours and her family as well as close friends. Exposure is a good thing. The truth fixes a lot of things.

Filing is good. The sooner the better. If she comes around you can slow it or stop it. It starts the clock ticking and you'll spend less time in imbo hell.

Last edited by Marc878; 11-26-2016 at 07:41 PM.
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post #13 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 02:58 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

You're doing everything perfectly all things considered. Go dark, except for discussing the kids, keep it to texts so you don't need to speak with her directly.

Depression is expected. Spend your free time with friends, family, doing things you enjoy.

My story: After a night on the town with him, wife exchanged inappropriate texts with her former boss.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...-she-road.html
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post #14 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 03:22 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Oh my, your wife sounds similar to my brother in law's wife. She wants to remain married too but both of them be able to date other people and live apart, (WTF!). In other words, he's a big fat Plan B. He said no and they filed for divorce.

Advice: If you decide not to date until your divorce is final, DO NOT tell your wife. My brother in law made the mistake of telling her this and now being the controlling beyotch she is, she not turning in the final paperwork to complete the divorce, (they went to a mediator). The divorce was supposed to be final last May.
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post #15 of 422 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 04:01 PM
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Re: Wife still cheating. I just filed for D

Read this as well. DO NOT USE HIS PLAN A, PLAN B. The author is very upfront that it is a plan for a spouse who cannot find the the fortitude to move on.

Exposure 101 - Your Most Powerful Weapon - Marriage Builders® Forums

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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