I feel that telling some guy that is having recriminations about , perhaps, not having picked up on his wife's cheating earlier, that the lack of sex should have told him everything is unkind. It is right there on the page.
Where in my post to him does it say he's "having recriminations about, perhaps, not having picked up on his wife's cheating earlier?"
Where in my post does it say he should have "been led to believe she was cheating on him?" Where is the word cheating that you continue to bring up over and over again with regards to the statement I made?
Where? Please copy/paste it for everyone to see. Cause you continue to accuse me of saying something I did not. Don't try to put your words into my sentence. It's pretty ridiculous actually.
Once again, if you are happier discounting what I've said and keep wanting to twist my words/meaning into something that *you* want it to be, then go right ahead.
Where in my post to him does it say he's "having recriminations about, perhaps, not having picked up on his wife's cheating earlier?"
Where in my post does it say he should have "been led to believe she was cheating on him?" Where is the word cheating that you continue to bring up over and over again?
Where? Please copy/paste it for everyone to see. Cause you continue to accuse me of saying things I didn't. It's pretty ridiculous actually. Especially when you have nothing to back it up with.
No problem
I think he is referring to a different thread. Posted via Mobile Device
Working, I do think that the idea of restitution is a good one, but to continue to prove your love and complete devotion is even better. Ask him what he feels will help. The most important issue you face is the trust issue, right? Perhaps you could volunteer to take a Polygraph every six months or so, just to reassure him. I know, that on the face of it, it might seem insulting to you, but you must remember that you are not a good person.......yet. For you to swallow some of your pride and submit to this, will show him 1. that you are being honest 2. that you are doing it because of your concern for his wellbeing 3. Your determination to remake your marriage on a footing of love and integrity. 4. Your willingness to be submissive. I know that when my wife took it (poly) it was enough for me to agree to reconciliation, because, at the time, she proved her words. She later resumed contact, once, and it was against the rules I had set, so then I chose divorce but if she had been fathful to my rules, her last tragic episode would not have happened. Polygraphs are not that expensive and isn't it worth the expense to have your husband trust you again?
Guys... she said she's going to try and make it up to him as best as she can... isn't that enough already. Whatever she plans, or has planned, that's her business. Damn.
Warlock, there is no such thing as overkill when trying to recover from an affair. In fact, overkill is just what is needed in Working's situation, BECAUSE she chose the om over her husband once. She needs to go to the wall for him, until HE is satisfied, not her, not us, not anyone else.
Working, it's not about what you want, think, or feel, right now. It's all about your husband. Simply put, Whatever he wants you to do, you do. As long as it's legal and not dangerous. Obviously, this will not be a permanent situation. Once he begins to trust you and your actions again, then with constant communication, respect and love, you can look to a brighter future. You WILL be the woman you want to be. Good luck !!! To BOTH of you, and keep us posted!!!
Where in my post to him does it say he's "having recriminations about, perhaps, not having picked up on his wife's cheating earlier?"
Where in my post does it say he should have "been led to believe she was cheating on him?" Where is the word cheating that you continue to bring up over and over again with regards to the statement I made?
Where? Please copy/paste it for everyone to see. Cause you continue to accuse me of saying something I did not. Don't try to put your words into my sentence. It's pretty ridiculous actually.
Once again, if you are happier discounting what I've said and keep wanting to twist my words/meaning into something that *you* want it to be, then go right ahead.
because her husband has had multiple affairs, and she knows HE won't change.
And this is her fault, how? That does not absolve you and it does not mean that she is at fault because she has bought his crap, You did. She does need to wake up. Hope can be such a trap with a man like this. Projecting is seeing your own fault in another person. I think that you might actually be doing that to her. It is pretty common for the OW to look down on the wife. I know that the sneaky little B who moved in on my marriage thought she was a much better catch then I. I notice however that as soon as I became aware of her existence my H immediately fired off a NC e-mail to her before I was completely informed about the true nature of their relationship. She was absolutely gob smacked that he could drop her like a dirty diaper. She tried for months to get him to change his mind. Getting involved with another woman's H is usually playing a very hurtful game of king of the mountain at the wife's expense. I would like to know why there are so many women who have no honor towards other women in such situations. If more females would play fair with each other, there would be very few affairs and broken homes.
Re: Exposing to O/m's wife after all these months 
.
That does not absolve you and it does not mean that she is at fault because she has bought his crap, You did. She does need to wake up. Hope can be such a trap with a man like this. Projecting is seeing your own fault in another person. I think that you might actually be doing that to her. It is pretty common for the OW to look down on the wife. I know that the sneaky little B who moved in on my marriage thought she was a much better catch then I. I notice however that as soon as I became aware of her existence my H immediately fired off a NC e-mail to her before I was completely informed about the true nature of their relationship. She was absolutely gob smacked that he could drop her like a dirty diaper. She tried for months to get him to change his mind. Getting involved with another woman's H is usually playing a very hurtful game of king of the mountain at the wife's expense. I would like to know why there are so many women who have no honor towards other women in such situations. If more females would play fair with each other, there would be very few affairs and broken homes.
