For Background's sake, from a previous post.
We were in the middle of an empty aisle at Target a few minutes ago and I suddenly had a flashback to my A, so I did what I always do when that happens and went over to my husband and put my arms around him and said, "I'm sorry if I say this too much. If you want me to mention it less, just let me know, because I don't want to upset you with painful memories, but... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for..." Here I struggled to verbalize my wrongdoing. When I apologize for it I have trouble coming out and saying that I cheated on him, so often I just apologize for "what happened in 2014" and I know perfectly well that that isn't good enough. I have to say it.
"I'm so sorry for being unfaithful to you in 2014."
He replied, "it's okay"
I removed my face from his shoulder and said, "No, no its not. It's not okay. It devastates me that I could have hurt you that way, that I DID hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much and I will never hurt you like that again."
He said, "it's okay. I forgive you."
I said, "Really? Thank you so much. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if that's even possible."
And to my absolute shock, he said, "You've already more than made up for it"
I couldn't thank him enough. Holy gods how it that even possible?! To MORE THAN make up for infidelity?!! I'm speechless. Of course, I'll continue trying to earn his love and be the woman he deserves regardless of whether he forgives me or not, because he deserves that always. But holy cow!!
We were in the middle of an empty aisle at Target a few minutes ago and I suddenly had a flashback to my A, so I did what I always do when that happens and went over to my husband and put my arms around him and said, "I'm sorry if I say this too much. If you want me to mention it less, just let me know, because I don't want to upset you with painful memories, but... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for..." Here I struggled to verbalize my wrongdoing. When I apologize for it I have trouble coming out and saying that I cheated on him, so often I just apologize for "what happened in 2014" and I know perfectly well that that isn't good enough. I have to say it.
"I'm so sorry for being unfaithful to you in 2014."
He replied, "it's okay"
I removed my face from his shoulder and said, "No, no its not. It's not okay. It devastates me that I could have hurt you that way, that I DID hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much and I will never hurt you like that again."
He said, "it's okay. I forgive you."
I said, "Really? Thank you so much. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if that's even possible."
And to my absolute shock, he said, "You've already more than made up for it"
I couldn't thank him enough. Holy gods how it that even possible?! To MORE THAN make up for infidelity?!! I'm speechless. Of course, I'll continue trying to earn his love and be the woman he deserves regardless of whether he forgives me or not, because he deserves that always. But holy cow!!