I'd think most guys who witness childbirth firsthand will be traumatized to some extent. I did, for sure. I mean you see it all, the fluids, the afterbirth, the placenta, the child's head popping out. How can you NOT get those images the next time you're down there trying to give her pleasure or even when you're about to insert yourself? In my case I even saw the episiotomy- when they cut and then stitch the bottom of the vj back together again to avoid tearing during delivery. As I write this I can still picture it as if it was yesterday. She had fibroids, so they pulled out the uterus and inverted it on her belly and zapped it with some sort of electric device to shrink the fibroids. It looked like some foreign alien object just laying there attached with part of it going right back inside her vj. I can still smell the burning from the electric zaps they were giving it.
Fathers really should be warned with some sort of disclaimer prior to being present in the delivery room. "You'll never look at her vj the same way again and witnessing childbirth first hand can be detrimental to your sex life".
He said the same exact thing to our counselor yesterday. He had no idea what childbirth was like. He said no video, presentation, nothing could have prepared him for that. We were also younger at the time... our first was a "surprise" so I think that adds to the shock of birth in a way.
He admitted that he knows he freaked over it, but eventually got over it. When he "got over it" he said that he should have done a better job in building back up my self esteem.
He said he wants to feel desired sexually, and when I was so insecure, it was a turn off. You see, I was so hurt, and felt so unattractive, that I NEVER tried to have sex either. I just waited for him.
He now admits that he feels it is his fault that I was so insecure. He stated that maybe if he would have initiated more, and made sure that I did in-fact feel sexy, sexy enough to initiate myself, that maybe it would not have spiriled out of control.
I hate that I felt so insecure. I lost all of my baby weight. I am 5 foot 6. 115 pounds when not pregnant. In really good shape. I dress nice.
See - there are many background issues that also need to be sorted out. Parts of me think that now that we have the ability to admit what is going on, and really look at all of the issues together - that maybe we CAN have a better relationship and more shared intimacy.