He should be giving you 100% transparency, at all times.
He should install a GPS on his car and/or phone so you can track him at all times.
He should find - and attend - a personal counselor to figure out what love really is and how he was able to do this.
He should find - and attend - a marriage counselor with you for as long as you need it.
He should NEVER get angry with you for not getting over it yet or asking him questions or needing reassurance. He might get frustrated, but he needs to learn to deal with it WITHOUT resorting to anger. You must always feel safe.
He should go to your parents and his parents with you and tell them what he did and ask their forgiveness.
He should write out a complete timeline of everything he did, without omitting anything. Trickle truth (hiding stuff unless you discover it) is a death knell to a marriage.
He should offer to sign a postnup agreement that states if he is ever caught cheating again, he walks away with NONE of the financial gains of the marriage.
He should start being invested in YOU, your thoughts, your dreams, what you're missing out on.
He should be willing to read books like His Needs Her Needs and do the questionnaires with you to get a better look into the real marriage you have.
Above all, he should be patient. It's said that the betrayed spouse might take 2 or 3 years - yes years - to start feeling normal. If he's not up to being contrite and patient while you heal, it's best to get out now to save you more pain.
Whoa!! A postnup?? Why have I not heard of or thought of this? I guess I thought it was for people with a lot of money? Like celebrities. lol.
One of the books is His Needs Her Needs. He has been doing what the chapters say and we have had conversations about it.
He has location turned on his phone.
Both of our parents know, but its because I called both of them crying. I am close with my dad and very close with his mom, so they were a source of comfort for me. I don't want him to apologize to them until I have decided to stay or go. Idk. I feel like they wont accept his apology until they see me happy again.
Is it possible that he is telling the truth? and not trickle truth?
He admitted to flirting. He said that she had been trying to get him to hang out for some time. He said she would always say that he should come over after work. I guess on this particular day he took her up on it?
I can see the phone history - they had no prior contact besides this one night. All of their contact was done at work.
Not to sound mean but my husband wouldn't be able to have a burner phone. For one, I don't think he would think of it. Two, I handle the finances, and he wouldn't even have the money for that. So, besides work communication, I doubt there was any.