So - how did this end up coming about? If you don't mind, how close were you in your suspicions?
Is it possible she may be trickle truthing to prevent you from digging out more than she'll admit to right now?
My Update: I know it is long, sorry.
Came home Friday drunk. My wife kept insisting that she wanted me to come home. I did not want to come home. I am living several hours away during the work week. I am not a nasty drunk and when I got home I did not unpack anything from my truck. I stopped at a store on my way home and bought a card that had a history of things on her birthday, candy that her grandmother use to give her, etc. When I got home I asked her to go into our family room. I explained to her the significance of each gift. That on the day she was born her parents had many high hopes for her. I took a picture of her father and handed it to her and said when he was dying seven years ago he pulled me aside and asked me to always take care of his daughter. I shared that her mother did the same thing prior to her death earlier this year. Her parents adored me and I loved them. They were responsible with us reconsiliation 12 years ago when she did something similar. They knew their daughter.
I told her that the only reason I came home was because of a promise I made to them and I really do not want to be there.
The night was just small talk. I went to bed at 1:00 A.M. and got up around 4:00 A.M.
She got up around 9:00 A.M. Saturday and just walked around the house all day like a lost zombie puppy. I was getting more and more pissed. I wanted to unload but kept my mouth shut. I was drinking and drunk. I kept checking the computer as I had gotten the account to our checkbook on line and could see when she met with the guy as she used her debit card to get gas, etc. near his house (a place that is 20 miles away from our home and a place she never goes). Found out she went to the liquor store and bought liquor (she never does this). Knew she bought a phone. I am not saying a word.
I go out to a bar. but I could not stay (my younger son called me and said do not anything stupid). I went home and started to drink. I was listening to Tom Wait in our family room drinking and smoking (I never smoke in the house). I was in total pain. My wife comes down to the family room insisted I go to bed with her around midnight on Saturday. We got into bed. I wanted sex (but did not say anything). She reaches over and taps me on the shoulder and says good night rolled over (I thought WTH). I lost it inside. I got up and said I can't sleep and I told her I can't take it. I told her that I need to come home on the weekends and have fun and her just walking around the house like a zombie will not cut it. I told her I am leaving and will be back home after the New Years. She said she did not want me to leave that this is my house too. I could not take it any further. No remorse, TT, etc. I packed up the little bit of stuff I brought in to our house and was ready to leave at 1:00 A.M. I have had three hours sleep in past two days and I was drunk. My wife stayed in bed and fell asleep (truthfully she was exhasuted as she was not sleeping - no pity on my part)
As I was leaving the house (some Christians will understand this) Thre was something like a voice telling me to check the Sears credit card. WTH. Am I cracking up I forgot we had one and I found it. I honestly do not know where my wife keeps our account stuff and like a robot I was led (I think by God) to a drawer (one I never go into because I never had a need to look in it). And there under a stack of papers was all our online account information.
i got my computer out and low and behold I found she had a secret phone account.
She lied to me and my sons about this (no surprise right?)
I went upstairs and woke up my older son, went into our bedroom and turned on the lights and woke my wife up. I started to threw her clothes out of her closet and told her to leave as I know all about the phone. I was cursing. My wfie was defient saying she would not leave. I disabled her car. She was pissed. My son was about to call the cops and I told him just stay with me and witness what I am doing as I would not harm his mother.
I showed my wife all the actions I had taken for a divorce and she was shocked.
She fell to the floor and grabbed my leg and was begging me not to leave or divorce her.
I told her to get her ass downstairs and come clean.
I started to smash pictures of the two of us she had around the room. I started to burn our wedding album and my son took it from me. I handed my wife my wedding ring. My wife told me to sit down. I grabbed another bottle of booze and sat down. I told her that this is her last chance to come clean or I will finish the divorce papers on Monday.
She lost it and opend up like a floodgate. Confessed everything.
There is a hell of lot more to write as all this went on for hours, but I have no doubt that she told me everything.
I told her that If I ever found out that she left anything out or the answers she gave me were wrong there will be no discussion.
I was not bluffing about the divorce but will give R one chance. Right now she is having blood work done for STD's and pregnancy and I am three hours away.