Originally Posted by MarriageEjected View Post
I did have a fling thing with her sister geez like right before we got married very long time ago, she is a couple years younger than W and was very very hot then. She pursued me, am pretty sure she was mad that her sis was marrying me and getting new house, car, etc....but we never had sex, kissed and groped but that was it, and only once. Her sis invited me to her dorm one time after that and I said no, we never even talked about it since then ever, and W is not suppose to know anything.....I doubt she suddenly found out. I know what I did was wrong but I was young and stupid and was most definitely pursued very hard....f me I knew this would come back and bite me one day....but man it was nothing and in the end I stood my ground and said no.
Well that is completely irrelevant to the current situation, and, you can now never ever reveal this to your wife.
Your wife cheating today is not your fault. Whether or not she ever suspected or knew of this little thing happening, her cheating now is her choice. Let's imagine she knew about your kissy thing with her sister. That would give your wife the right to either not marry you, divorce you, demand you make amends, or just let it go. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no such thing as Karma. Your actions back then did not create some kind of cosmic payback.
You did a shtty thing back then, though you showed enough integrity to stop before it was sex. But the statute of limitations has run out after all these years. You feel terrible and you know it was wrong. It was before you were married. Suffering through your wife now cheating on you is not going to fix anything for you!!!
Absent any issues with your wife cheating, we all here would recommend that years ago you should have come clean to your wife about it. Not now. Your wife will use this against you. She will beat you over the head with it, and she'll play on your guilt. She'll see it as justification for her affair, and she won't feel any guilt. Telling her about your fumbling around with her sister before you were married will 100% destroy any chance of saving your marriage.
Don't do it. Just don't do it. You want to lead by example, being kind and honest with her so that she'll be kind and honest with you. It never
works out when you do that. Never.