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post #256 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 04:58 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by WonkyNinja View Post
So he is forgiven for messing around with her sister and given a green light to expose her and the OM while keeping the minor irrelevance of hooking up with her sister to himself and taking the high ground. Unbelievable.
I have to agree, we scream up and down if this was a woman doing this, she would be branded a serial cheat. To this point all we have is the OP's story which seems to be getting more creative and longer i.e the OM being an undercover detectives working stings.

So has the OM just finished an undercover sting enough to come out and have sex with the OP's wife and then go back undercover again..

or is it undercover agent as in ..under the covers agent..get it?

sorry for the t/j

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post #257 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 05:05 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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The posters on this thread were convinced that she was going to have sex with the EA guy, but now also accept that he only kissed and groped with her sister like he said so he plays the victim. What about the 15 years of deception and lies he kept from his W?



Hypocrites.


If he groped and kissed her sister, who had no top on, I'm not so sure I believe there was no sex.

She's standing there exposing her breasts, you grope them I assume, and kiss her, and what .... stop???

Even if there was no sex, I'm sure if her sister would have pushed harder, there may have been.

And it IS all about the intention, is it not? Just as your wife may have had the intention.

Let me tell you for many women, finding out you even went THAT far with her sister after you made your decision to commit to and marry them, would infuriate them and hurt like hell.

That was infidelity also ....

Just sayin.



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post #258 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 05:12 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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If you could share with us exactly how to do this ("pushed an update to her phone that basically the next time she texted him it automatically turned it into a one time group chat for the next 5 SMS messages, that included my number, this gave me a way to make it look like she had accidentally added me to the message conversation"), it would be very beneficial to many on this site. This would be a game changer for many, and you would be famous on this site. Please respond to this ASAP as there are many posting now that could use this.
Would have to be an awfully small carrier to have your finger on the pulse this deep...
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post #259 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 05:38 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Thanks. I've been here all along, just haven't been posting much.
Your posts usually suggest reflection, compassion, and forgiveness.

Your's is a voice in the wilderness. One, drowned out by those that seek vengeance on the fallen.

On TAM....go with the flow, or go unnoticed...........few likes for the tame, the meek or the kind-hearted.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #260 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 05:41 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Would have to be an awfully small carrier to have your finger on the pulse this deep...
Small, thin wrist, strong pulse. His heart doth carry-her.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #261 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 06:20 PM
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new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by Popcorn2015 View Post
Because he has kids with her and because (we think) she hasn't yet destroyed the marriage completely with a PA.









Quite possibly. This is one of the differences between men and women. Women in these situations often think it's just flirting right until stuff "just happens".


And with men it is never just flirting but instead just efforts to get into a woman's pants.

His soon to be wife just leaves for a few minutes and he gets it on with her sister?

IMO if he exposes, little sis will speak up and say he kissed and groped her before the marriage. She has lots of motives to do that.

We will then find out how irrelevant it is.
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post #262 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 11:43 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Small, thin wrist, strong pulse. His heart doth carry-her.
Along with a number of broken FCC laws as well it seems...
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post #263 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 08:05 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

I would also wonder how invested you were in the marriage that it took so little to get you off track the day before your wedding day? How much empathy for your wife could you be experiencing when this is really seen as a "boys will be boys" moment.

I'm not excusing what she is about to do but ask yourself how you may have contributed to getting her to this point. Have you been emotionally absent? Are you able to be vulnerable with her? Do you experience empathy for her day to day struggles?
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post #264 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 08:50 AM
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new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

I will ask a third time because it is relevant but I won't ask again if you don't answer.

Why were you checking your wife's messages?

We don't condone what she did but we need to understand the state of your marriage prior to this to look for conditions that contributed to her actions.

You have a lot of experience and help through the other posters who are here on your thread. Use them.
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post #265 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 08:59 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by WonkyNinja View Post
The posters on this thread were convinced that she was going to have sex with the EA guy, but now also accept that he only kissed and groped with her sister like he said so he plays the victim. What about the 15 years of deception and lies he kept from his W?

Hypocrites.
Well, it appears another BH has been run off by another round of attacking the victim. Sorry, but I don't put these two situations in the same category ... I ... just ... don't. One was a spur of the moment thwarted seduction attempt from a semi-naked jealous sister, while young (immature), not yet M'd, and the other was an ongoing premeditated betrayal by a W of 15 years. Very few things in life are black and white, while most occur in varying shades of gray. Therefore, I don't recognize, nor accept any hypocrisy for my position.

Personally, I'd like to see ME come back and get the support he needs to out the OM and blow up his world and to get the clarity of the whole truth from his WW.

Come on back ME (if you're still reading) ... toughen your skin and as they say "take what you can use and ignore the rest". We all come to this place with our own dysfunctional baggage, so its not surprising that different people focus on different aspects of any story. I found when I was first going through this nightmare, that I connected with a few posters and looked to them to keep me straight ... the others, I just skimmed over and never responded to their misconceptions, and I'd suggest you do the same.

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post #266 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 10:20 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by TRy View Post
If you could share with us exactly how to do this ("pushed an update to her phone that basically the next time she texted him it automatically turned it into a one time group chat for the next 5 SMS messages, that included my number, this gave me a way to make it look like she had accidentally added me to the message conversation"), it would be very beneficial to many on this site. This would be a game changer for many, and you would be famous on this site. Please respond to this ASAP as there are many posting now that could use this.
I believe he said he worked for the phone carrier. Even so I can't imagine that one person could push an operating system update to a single phone without detection, even if they had the ability to patch the o/s itself.

He may mean that he was able to modify the specific SMS message into an MMS and added his number to the conversation list. On my phone (Android - Samsung) MMS messages show with the conversation list as the header. It seems odd that she would either not notice or keep on partaking in a conversation with her husbands number in the title.
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post #267 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 11:16 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

I wish WonkyNinja would post more often.
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post #268 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 11:32 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Me, too.
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post #269 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 11:57 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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I believe he said he worked for the phone carrier. Even so I can't imagine that one person could push an operating system update to a single phone without detection, even if they had the ability to patch the o/s itself.

He may mean that he was able to modify the specific SMS message into an MMS and added his number to the conversation list. On my phone (Android - Samsung) MMS messages show with the conversation list as the header. It seems odd that she would either not notice or keep on partaking in a conversation with her husbands number in the title.
I used to work for a major carrier. Entry level csr's had the access to do this. It would be very rare for one to be able to figure out how, but the access was there. It wouldn't be an operating system update, just a settings update not much different from pushing in a new voice mail access number. And a programmer with access to the raw databases could pretty much do anything he wanted.

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post #270 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 12:16 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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I used to work for a major carrier. Entry level csr's had the access to do this. It would be very rare for one to be able to figure out how, but the access was there. It wouldn't be an operating system update, just a settings update not much different from pushing in a new voice mail access number. And a programmer with access to the raw databases could pretty much do anything he wanted.


However I don't think that's how his "wonder attack" was characterized. I believe he said on the NEXT text it would turn into a group message for 5 posts only.

That is an application program functioning at the operating system level using operating system exit routines (sorry to use very antiquated terminology but we don't know the operating platform and the concepts are still the same).

I realize you guys are searching for explanations that could be plausible, but I simply think he created a fantasy situation and has no idea about the underlying technology so what he described comes off as a typical Hollywood script (rogue cell phones making helicopters crash into grain silos if I recall Sandra Bullock's movie correctly)


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