Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?
You may have contributed to the marriage not being healthy, but you did not cause her to cheat.
Here is what you do.
You expose. Send a simple email/message to her parents, your parents, the OM, his wife, very close friends (think maybe 3-5 total friends), and anyone else that may be enabling the affair.
"Friends and family, I am writing you this letter to inform you that my wife has been having an emotional affair with X since X date, to include the exchanging of sexually explicit photos. The upcoming trip she has scheduled was going to be used to consummate the affair. I am telling you because I would like to save our marriage for not only our sake, but for the sake of our children. However, I will not remain married to a woman who continues to cheat. I am asking for your support and prayers in this difficult time."
"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.
"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley