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post #106 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 10:47 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Yeah, I think the piece of the puzzle we are missing is what was contained in those messages that had the OP sure that this was going to turn into a PA.

If the OP is anything like me, my body didn't come with a "poker face" feature. Try as I may, anyone who knows me can read if something is wrong or I'm upset etc. Toss in there that's it's his wife, and she can probably read his poker face in the pitch black dark. Add the fact that he stayed at his mothers that night, his profession, her and Sgt. Willy D!ckRod's own paranoia about getting caught because they have been carrying on a EA they are getting ready to consummate, and it is massively feasible that they know he is on thier trail and that latest exchange was written with the sole purpose for him to read it.

For his sake, I hope I am dead wrong.


Ciao,

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post #107 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 10:51 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Maybe they think OM's wife is suspicious. Maybe it is OM's wife reading the messages.

1am is not normal social hours to be texting.
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post #108 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 10:56 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Or, she is making it clear to OM she is not planning on leaving her marriage to live with OM. She wants him to understand this is only sex and fun, nothing more.
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post #109 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 10:58 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by Yeswecan View Post
How would she know this thread is showing up in Google unless she is actively looking for a thread with nonspecific names and or finding the right keyword to get her to this thread?



He is savvy tech man...leaving things open on the computer and traces of his being on the computer, specifically in this situation, we can pretty much surmise the tracks have been erased.



Makes no sense to flip flop between a untraceable app and standard traceable texting. The W is not hiding it well at all.



I'm going with flirty meaningless texts that might be driving the OM imagination and the W is sincerely going for a visit with the uncle with daughter in tow. She may stop by to see the old copper she is texting for a simple visit.


Or it could be OP's imagination.
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post #110 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 10:59 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by Thor View Post
Or, she is making it clear to OM she is not planning on leaving her marriage to live with OM. She wants him to understand this is only sex and fun, nothing more.


That actually could make it MORE attractive to OM.
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post #111 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 11:00 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Or, she is making it clear to OM she is not planning on leaving her marriage to live with OM. She wants him to understand this is only sex and fun, nothing more.
Nothing more...

&%%#%^&*()))*&^%$#@#$%^&*().!!!!

I'll return to mindful calm now...
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post #112 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 11:02 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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Originally Posted by blueinbr View Post
Or it could be OP's imagination.
Correct.

You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #113 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 11:09 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

We should all band together and become the biggest, strongest group of conspiracy theorists ever!!!!

Ciao,

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post #114 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 11:52 AM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

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I truly do not understand the mindset that says that knowing that your wife intends to spend alone time with another man to just sit there sucking your thumb watching it happen and hope that it does not.
Nobody said that. So he puts a stop to it, then what? Now he has a wife who attempted to have sex with another man and he thwarted it. All good? He still has a cheating wife, and now he gets to spend the rest of his married life policing and spying on her - always on the lookout for the next time.

Guess what - if she wants to cheat, she's going to, whether or not you stop her this time. What, you think all of a sudden, if he busts her before it happens, she goes "oh, thanks! Geez, what was I thinking?? Thank God you stopped me. I'm going to be faithful and loyal and truthful from now on".

She wants to cheat, she has the desire to cheat, she intends to cheat. What does he accomplish by stopping her this time? You can't control another adult's actions. You can only control how you respond to their actions. If she's going to have sex with this guy, she's going to have sex with this guy - if not on this trip - on another. If not with the cop, with another guy. She's an adult - allowed to make her own decisions. Let her do what she will, then file for divorce and find a decent woman who is loyal and has integrity. Or don't, get a FWB and enjoy being single and not having to answer to anyone.
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post #115 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

OK, you are right, I should have posted the initial messages first....here they are (my W messages are in BOLD)


So, finally booked the trip, we are coming up for year end

oh, very cool!!!

Thats it? just cool??

Trying to keep texting safe (smiley)


another conversation

Finally get to see my gorgeous friend a lot more

well still well over a couple weeks away


another conversation

You dont need to do a thing, really you look totally amazing, 10 out of 10

Well, thank you kindly but after 3 kids I still think I have plenty to work on!


another conversation

his loss, always fun to try new things

I do miss the adventure!

I do too, are you able to receive calls?

Yea, solo tonight

Ok I will call you in a bit, but will use my house line though


another conversation

you are missing bikinis and the beach! we know where your mind is

Yes, I got a weakness for beautiful women like you, where else would my mind be?

hmmm, IDK, you tell me

Well, I am thinking about those pictures you sent, how incredible you look, and how I would love to see you, just being honest.

I figured as much, ha!

I have some older ones on my FB

Oh trust me I have checked them out!!! I FB stalked you many times already

lmao, am sure you did!

its a cop thing

might have to have my handcuffs ready for this trip, I usually only travel with my gun

haha, oh my, did you see anything that peek your interest?

Just enough to want to see more, but thats exactly how it should be, dont be naked, always leave something for the imagination!

I better be careful, is it safe to text with you? wouldnt want to get you in trouble

by bikinis do you mean something like this? (faceless bikini photo sent)

wow, really wow, omg!!! am speechless

another conversation

well that pic last night didnt help matters!!

whoops!!!

getting a bit warm in my car and its very cold winter outside!!

looking forward to doing some work with you <-- this guy does photography on the side, just FYI

I know, am excited(err....maybe nervous too)

did you make it to the gym last night?

no, and in part thanks to you!!!

am sorry


thats all, just bits and pieces, talks about family and work too....she likely deleted many that I havent bothered to try to retrieve yet....
for judgement of appropriateness only I posted the pic she sent, thou there have been others, none naked, will delete it very shortly!



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post #116 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:24 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Nope, you aren't paranoid.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #117 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:31 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

So yeah....you need to talk to your wife....and his wife and she needs to cancel the trip
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post #118 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:33 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Have you called his wife yet?
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post #119 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:37 PM
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Re: new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

Yeah that's an affair. If I were you I would let her do as she wishes, then divorce. The texts alone are grounds for divorce - once the PA goes down you can walk away with righteous indignation and feel no guilt.

What an awful situation you're in. Sorry bro. Your wife is long gone.
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post #120 of 348 (permalink) Old 12-16-2016, 12:50 PM
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new here: proof of impending PA, do I intervene?

They're flirting. Inappropriate but not a PA.

We are still waiting to hear why you checked the messages?

Did you ever cheat?
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