12-07-2011, 05:50 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
| | Re: Destroyed my marriage
You have to really be sorry. You have to mean it. You have to communicate honestly, transparently, and sincerely. You have to recognize that you did a very bad thing and that your husband has been hurt by your immature and selfish behavior. That kind of remorse is just the beginning. It's YOUR job to fix what you've wrecked, which means that you better really be committed to him and you better do everything you can to prove it -- even if he eventually rejects you.
And, JustaJerk has raised an important question -- is your husband just the second option that you used as a back-up plan? I'd recommend that you figure that out because it sounds that way and you don't want to hurt him again by just repeating this, right? Try to figure out why it was that you had the affair in the first place. If you aren't in counseling, you really ought to start because until you figure out why you did such an immature, selfish, and hurtful thing to the person who trusted you with all his vulnerability and to whom you made a promise to be faithful and decent, you are at risk of hurting him again.