Have you asked your husband what he wants? From what you have written, it sounds like he is done and wants out. But that may just be an angry reaction to you reverting to old behavior. I think he was testing you to see if he could trust you to be friends with men on FaceBook.
What do you want? Do you want to save your marriage? If so why?
Sit down and have an honest talk with your husband including your opinion of why you seek attention of men on FB.
Browser, this may address your comment about whether my husband is done with me.
I cannot tell to be honest. The thing is every single time he has found out about my transgressions (4 x or so) I have gone into panic mode and sort of stop my behavior immediately out of fear of losing him. But he has told me this before and rightfully so, that every time he feels like he can relax and no longer has to be monitoring my every move (which is limited to facebook/messanger as I do not exchange any other information like my address, phone number, email address) within days I go back to my old ways.
What i think is something we talk about several months ago and that is that he would stay with me as to minimize disrupting our daughter's life. Not long before my jnitial transgression we were living like roommates anyways (mostly my fault, I was chronically depressed).
Honestly I do not know what i want. I think my whole life I've lived it trying to do what I believe I should do even when I may have been dissatisfied.
I never imagined a life without my husband and our daughter. That is definitely what i do not want. I want the three of us healthy and happy...but perhaps I have to accept that Ido not have it in me to be a decent wife.
Ideally I want to keep my marriage and be happy. When my initiak EA was discovered H and I were forced to look at pur marriage and accept the fact that we had been largely unhappy. Of course I never let him blame himself and he never did do that for my cheating. But we finally used that as a way of starting over. I was at the time still cosleeping with my daughter and so the first thing we did was to change the sleeping arrangement. I realized that both he and I missed our time together. We had practically none. We both work full time jobs with very long commute times and we are basically just caring for our daughter every free moment. So we essentially have an incredibly short amount of time where we are not exhausted and actually excited to spend time together.
In sum, when we have good times and we laugh and we share an inside joke and we take long walks and talk about us, I feel so very close to him and want nothing to get in our way. However life is not made up of just those silly happy moments and it seems that the minute I am not getting his attention and adoration I give up...
Sorry that went longer than I expected. For now my husband has asked that I try to leave him alkne for the whole weekend. He is extremely angry which is something so unlike him. He wants revange and has told me he will contact some women he knows on facebook just so I feel the same pain I put him through. I do not know, I do not want a miserable marriage. I do not want him avoiding me. Of course it scares and bothers me that he would pursue other women. I hate to know that I am pushing him to do that. I am not excusing his behavior but I can understand how the agony he is in could cause him to go against his own ethics and morality.