Thanks everyone for your input, the resources you shared and the encouragement. I need it and will use it.
My intention at this point is to give myself another chance...I've almost lost faith that I am capable of making real changes to better myself and of course the tragic consequences are not just felt by me but by the people I love the most.
Just to address a couple of things brought up in regards to facebook. Right before removing the app from my phone and deactivating my account, I had started unfriending people...lots of strangers that I didn't even remember why I friended in the first place. The vast majority were single men though there were some married men and some women with whom I hardly ever interacted. I have left some male friends that I have known for a couple of years (not IRL just via facebook) who have never shown any ulterior motives and have respected the fact that I am a married woman. They have never ever posted anything close to inappropriate and I myself never tried to be flirtatious* with them in any way. I also deleted all posts/replies where I thought I was being funny or harmlessly flirtatious, I am ashamed of the things I put out there for the world to see...such disrespect for my husband.
I have no facebook or real life friends that were aware of my indiscretions, I kept it all to myself because I knew it was wrong.
Finally, I went ahead and deactivated the account. I have given my password to my husband.
The sad thing is that right before I interacted with the last 2 men, I was so sure I wouldn't ever engage is such behavior* (honestly I never had before except for the original EA almost a year ago now) that I had changed my password and added it to a list of usernames/passwords my husband and I can access. I figured if my husband had this information then I would hold myself accountable but obviously it did not keep me from doing what I did.
Besides facebook I only have instagram. I have set it to private, I do not post anything but I do follow a few women there. I struggle with some serious body image problems and one thing that has helped me improve my confidence is to follow women who are in the body positive movement and all their posts are inspirational. I have set it up in a way that I will not get notifications of people to follow and it is not linked to my facebook account.
This perhaps is the only social networking app that has yielded some positive effects in my life. And my husband agrees with this.
So I do still have this app in my phone.
Currently my husband has access to my work and 2 personal email accounts. He has access to my facebook account and to my instagram. I have no secret accounts of any kind.
Ultimately my husband just wishes he didn't have to monitor me as if I was a little child. The goal is for me to be unwilling to engage in flirtatious and any behavior disrespectful to my husband to the point where this monitoring is not needed.
But my past history has shown that I cannot be trusted.
I thank everyone honestly for taking the time to share your thoughts, advice, encouragement, etc. I hope you all do not mind but unlike the first time I came here to TAM and conveniently ignored or failed to follow through with any of the recommended actions, I intend to use this thread as a way of keeping myself accountable. I may be posting from time to time to share updates.
I am so afraid of failure and tend to quit the moment something doesn't go as planned. But I want to get it right this time, for myself, for my loving husband, for our beautiful child.
It has been now almost a whole day without facebook and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. I do not sleep well and wake up at least once or twice at night and my first instinct has always been to check my facebook updates. Instead I have come here. I do not want to replace one addiction for another but for now TAM is a much healthier alternative.
Again I thank you all for reading and sincerely welcome your feedback.