Re: Where to go from here?
Your wife has the mentality of a 10-12 yo little girl. You believe that reason and logic can reach her? You are sadly mistaken. Your efforts will be utterly futile. The only way to handle her is to treat her like the child she is. You must become as a parent to her. Take her phone away, restrict her social media/computer access, know her whereabouts at all times and give her real punishment for disobedience. You are not dealing with an adult.
Many come here and are simply unable to comprehend how their wife, the mother of their children, the one who vowed "for better or worse" could possibly be doing the things they appear to be doing. It is really quite simple to understand. Do children often lie, break their promise and show little regard for doing so? They do because they have not yet developed the mental capability to fully grasp and understand adult concepts. Your wife is such an individual.
So then you are left with a very difficult decision to make. As the adult you must realize that this will be your life, more or less, from now on. So, do you want to be, for all intents and purposes, a husband/father figure? If not, then you really have little choice other than to let her become someone else's problem. Then you can find a mature woman to be wife and mother in your family. If you do wish to fill that unenviable role, then you must accept that, just like a grounded child, she will rebel wildly, label you as controlling and most likely leave.
However, if she does indeed stay and agree to follow your strict guidelines then you must understand that you will have to be forever vigilant in your efforts. Her agreeing to your guidelines will have no meaning to her, just as her marriage vows have no meaning, and you will need to be constantly monitoring her activities, her friends and her whereabouts. You must understand this going forward and be prepared to invest this amount of effort to make this "marriage" work. You now find yourself between the proverbial rock and hard place and I wish you good fortune, whatever you choose to do.