It's apparent that I love my wife. I also don't believe in divorce because i'm a Christian. I want to work it out. I'm just tired of finding out about more things later on. Also, She said her church sisters are partly to blame for her lack of honesty as they told her not to reveal what happened because it would crush me. It made things a lot worse that's for sure. I told her that 100% honesty is always better than me finding out on my own. That lies are selfishness to prevent you from getting caught and nothing more.
What's apparent is that you're dealing with infidelity in all the wrong ways. She tells you to leave the house - you leave the house. She tells you you have to stay in the guest room - you do so. She tells you to give her a few hours each night - you do it.
Barring mental illness, the ONLY way to deal with a cheating wife is swift, strong, ACTION. You must show TOTAL unwillingness to allow any further cheating under YOUR ROOF.
Christian men are supposed to lead their family. You are doing anything BUT leading your family. In fact, you're being led around by the nose. And it ain't attractive.
Psychologically, women MUST respect their man and, yes, even fear him a little. Not fear as in danger, but fear as in what if he gets angry?
You've been a doormat and every day you remain a doormat, her disgust for you - and desire for any man strong enough to try to take her from you grows.
You want her to quit cheating? Tell her she has one day to decide - you or him. And if she can't decide, see a lawyer the next day. You can always call off the divorce if she gets her head out of her butt. But she will NEVER stop cheating on you unless you say 'him or me.' Please trust me on this.