Originally Posted by She'sStillGotIt View Post
I think more than the 'science' of a poly is the intimidation factor involved. For the most part, your average Joe has never taken one, and if he or she has been lying their face off about their cheating ways and are told they have an appt for a poly in 3 days, sometimes they sing like a canary.
But no, I would never stay with anyone who disrespected me SO much that I had to go to a polygraph expert just to try to get the truth out of his worthless ass. I'd be SO long gone.
And I agree, I find it terribly pitiful when a BS posts about how their cheater passed a polygraph. Then again, it's even MORE pitiful when a BS stays with a cheater who didn't pass a poly and they're STILL trying to 'reconcile' with the loser.
That's just the epitome of desperate.
polygraphs read biometrics. nothing else. they look for changes in biometrics, which can be caused by thought alone.
recently, i took one and was letting my mind idle, waiting for the next question. in doing so, i suddenly realized that i had not exchanged my old body armor plates for the new ones, and only had about 60 hours to get back to my home state and exchange them before i deployed. that caused me to experience a sudden spike of anxiety. "****, i still need to exchange my plates!". it was one of those things that really mattered to me, so it caused me anxiety.
it messes with the test. polygraphs really cannot determine of someone is lying if they feel no guilt or anxiety in connection with the lie they are telling. most people, however, experience anxiety when they are lying. they are taught not to lie, so lying is not a normal thing. its not natural to them.
when it comes to someone rewriting history, it is entirely possible for them to actually believe the lies they tell themselves. they look for evidence to back it up. they see it everywhere. but, the one thing they still usually have an issue with is lying about things that they have done. hence why i will always suggest questions that address behavior rather than feelings.
"did you do this on this date, with this person, at this location," etc.
i can not speak for everyone, but as for myself, i dont need my wife, akinaura. i dont need her to be nice to me. i dont need her to cooperate with me. i dont really need anything from her. i find enjoyment in the struggle with her. i find enjoyment in seeing her grow as a result of my own actions. i chose to reconcile with her because i get something out of it. i dont think any less of her for her actions in the past, and i wont think any less of her for her actions now or in the future.
she gives me something that i cannot get alone. i could get it with anyone else on the planet, but since i have her already, ill get it from her.
i am going to build a legacy with this woman. as long as i am able to influence her behavior, she IS my legacy.
i want to leave a good one.
i wont toss her aside because i have decided to be who i am. so ill make her life as miserable or as joyful as she makes mine. i love the struggle and i love the rewards.
regardless, ill always be happy.