Re: When is the magical time to stop asking questions and to let go of the past
Four months is a very short time. Any good marriage counselor knows this. Unless it was said in a certain way (e.g. I know it hurts, and it will be some time but eventually you'll have to make a conscious decision to let go of the past), I'd probably get a new marriage counselor.
As for your husband, I don't think your over-reacting. As I said, four months is a very short time. I simply found texts on my wife's phone and I'm so not really over it (for multiple reasons) and that was 2.5 years ago.
At some point, if you want the relationship to work you'll have to come to grips with what happened, you shouldn't live the rest of your life punishing your husband. However, that doesn't mean you have to rush the processing of your feelings, especially when you aren't ready.