As children, our lives are mostly pleasure and play. As adults, women often have feelings of being cut off from this paradise, of being weighed down by responsibilities, roles, limits, and boundaries. Over time, this repression of a woman creates a hidden portion of who she is. That portion of themselves is dying to be overwhelmed. Every woman is oppressed by the role she is supposed to play in society. She is supposed to be the softer, moralizing force in society, and is told she is suppose to want lifelong loyalty and commitment. None of these things are her choice. Limits and boundaries placed on a woman start at a very young age. The majority of women conform to whatever is normal for them at the time. They play the role alloted to them by society. Beginning with her parents, then as they progress in life, friends and society impose rules in which she must follow to fit in. Conformity is a constant because humans are social creatures who are always imitating eachother. Too often, when a woman marries, it is the the norm that a husband places additional restrictions on her involving what she can wear, who she can talk to, where she can work, and how she carries herself as a married woman. Too often, her relationships and marriage give her nothing but routine and a husband who is demanding and always working. A woman then creates in herself a fantasy of having a man who commits himself to her in his entirety, free of expectations, he lives for her, he lusts for her, even if just for awhile.
A woman is born with her own body. She always remains free to give that body to whomever she decides. Whether it goes to a man, or a woman makes no difference. The choice remains hers. When a man comes along and demands ownership, either through a simple relationship or through marriage, it's nothing more than a false claim. No man can own a woman and the very first chance she gets, she will prove it to him. These forums are full of stories of women who did just that. Being married made no difference.
Husbands repress thier wives more than what she has already been repressed before they met. To a woman, fantasy is much more pleasurable to her than the reality she has already experienced. Some of the easiest examples come in the form of the care a woman takes with her hair, her make-up, her jewels, her wardrobes.... not much of these things that a man takes great notice in is the actual woman herself. The role a woman was given is not the role she has to always accept. She can always live out a role of her own creation and many times, it is directly tied to her repressed desires.
A man who understands this concept of lifting a woman's limitations and boundaries has a great appeal to a woman. By restoring a woman to her whole self, she will never feel more alive and never feel more of a committment to this man. Again, even if it's just temporary.
Um... That sounds really good, and briefs well, until one considers that men can only legally take from a woman but she is willingly giving away (and vice versa).
Your assumption in this post opines that:
1. Women have no agency to either prevent it from happening or to say something when it has happened.
2. Male spouses are systematically setting about to restrict their female partners.
It reads like a cliched script from a bad Lifetime movie, and while it no doubt does happen, I would argue that it is much more the exception than the rule.
If a woman has to hide herself from her husband, either she has problems with communication or she chose poorly her husband.
Additionally, I would further argue that better than half (and likely closer to three quarters) of the cases that present themselves here and sites like SI are because of a lack of boundaries in a relationship.
Yes, children seek out pleasure and play. Adults have to make adult decisions, which includes making sacrifices. There ain't no free lunch; marriage is no different. If a man running roughshod over a woman in a marriage is so prevalent, why is NMMNG recommended to nearly every male poster that sets foot in this site?
Frankly, there needs to be less emphasis on trying to figure out why both men and women make poor choices, and more time spent emphasizing taking back their agency. With agency comes responsibility. When we understand that we are responsible for our decisions, and all of the consequences that come along with them, suddenly there is a greater emphasis on making the right ones. This is why we see over and over and over again the effectiveness of showing any wayward spouse, whether male or female, consequences for their choice to cheat.
But then again, that requires that we grow up. And going back to your original post, there's almost a suggestion that women don't want to. I'm not necessarily buying that, as there was just a post earlier today by @turnera
suggesting that wives have to wait for their husbands to grow up. So, which is it?
The more I think about it, and the longer I'm here, I believe more and more that it comes down to the fact that the world is filled with selfish jerks. We make decisions that hurt people because we're selfish. That's not a man or a woman thing, but a people thing. Anything else anybody sells trying to be gender-specific often smells like the stuff I periodically shovel from my barn.