What's going on? - Page 21 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #301 of 304 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 11:35 AM
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Re: What's going on?

Any updates, @Kukabura? It's been almost a week since you last posted.

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post #302 of 304 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:47 AM Thread Starter
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Nothing much has changed, he is back at home in his own room. I have started work and he may start soon. We don't talk to each other, I'm completely ignoring him. He cooks and cleans, takes care of children till I come, goes out after that or locks himself in his room.
Mil came this evening and I left them with kids and stayed in my room.
No one is talking about the dinosaur in the room. I'm just not interested. I feel angry from time to time but try and distract myself. Looks like he thinks time will help him rug sweep easily. I don't want a D because of many reasons but I also won't put up with his crap so basically I'm still thinking of a plan that will work.

I went for the I C and didn't told the therapist all in a short summary without much emotions. The therapist feels he needs therapy and want to see us both next week
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post #303 of 304 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:52 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlg07 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tron View Post

Understanding Your Betrayed Spouse - A quick reference manual for unfaithful partners.

The Sea of Stress is Difficult to Understand. YOU BETRAYED YOUR PARTNER. NOW COMES THE FALLOUT.

........
Link*Things that every wayward spouse needs to know - LoveShack.org Community Forums
Things that every wayward spouse needs to know - LoveShack.org Community Forums
Kukaburra, I think you need to have your H read this ASAP. I really don't think he fully understands the devastation that he brought to you. His anger over your continued questions point to that -- he doesn't realize how deeply this affected you and why you continue to go over/dig into it. He needs to read this to understand what he needs to do FOR YOU and stop focusing on himself. Another poly may not be a bad thing -- now you can have more pin-point questions to make sure he is done with the trickle-truth and has in fact told you everything.

VERY sorry for the pain you are going through.
I have forgotten to sent it to him, tks for the reminder but I doubt he will read it.
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post #304 of 304 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 10:48 PM
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Re: What's going on?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kukabura View Post
Nothing much has changed, he is back at home in his own room. I have started work and he may start soon. We don't talk to each other, I'm completely ignoring him. He cooks and cleans, takes care of children till I come, goes out after that or locks himself in his room.
Mil came this evening and I left them with kids and stayed in my room.
No one is talking about the dinosaur in the room. I'm just not interested. I feel angry from time to time but try and distract myself. Looks like he thinks time will help him rug sweep easily. I don't want a D because of many reasons but I also won't put up with his crap so basically I'm still thinking of a plan that will work.

I went for the I C and didn't told the therapist all in a short summary without much emotions. The therapist feels he needs therapy and want to see us both next week
Glad you are at work, it will help you to meet others and keep your mind of things.

When is he starting work?
It looks like he is going to try and wait you out, he doesn't seem to be man enough to sit you down and open up to you and genuinely try to make amends. Maybe he doesn't know how.
It might be good to consider MC after your IC. After your IC you will be more stable and able to identify the issues in your marriage that led to this and the areas you want to cover.

MC will give you a safe environment to express your emotions about everything that has happened since the move to and from overseas. Depending on his responses etc, you can then decide better if you will be in the marriage or just live as room mates.

I hope that the pain you feel will lessen with time.
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