There were pictures of him having dinner, drinking with group of colleagues, looks like a pub. There were both male and female colleagues. His close work mate is in all the photos.
There were a few short video clips that shows them drunk and laughing. One picture shows some kind of celebration, lots of half naked women dressed in some dance costumes. Typing these makes me want to vomit right now. I checked the sent mails and saw his reply to one email in which a woman asks him to be her boy friend, he replied "let's see more nude pictures first"
I couldn't dig anymore, I had no time and didn't need anymore proof. I logged out and had a good cry. Spend some time thinking about future then went back to save those emails but he has changed his password during that time. He called me during lunch and I didn't hide my feeling very well, he sensed something wrong and came home early, bubblier than usual and asked me what happened to the membership. I said I don't need any membership and asked to see what has been doing behind my back. He said I don't trust him and I have invaded his privacy. He said something is very wrong with me and I need to see doctor for my mental problem. He said life is hell with me, no peace and all. Threw his phone on the floor and it broke into pieces. Walked out of the house. I tried calling him twice no reply. He came back in the morning and went straight to bed. I have not seen his after that.
This is not the man I married, he has never been like this. I feel like I'm living with a stranger. I called my best friend and she has asked me to stay calm and do not say anymore. She wants me to leave asap.
Kukabura, I am so so sorry but as someone says here, your gut was totally right.
He knows he has been outed and in typical cheater mode is trying to throw blame on you and react in anger in the hope you will back off and let him rug sweep.
He said I don't trust him and I have invaded his privacy. He said something is very wrong with me and I need to see doctor for my mental problem. He said life is hell with me, no peace and all. Threw his phone on the floor and it broke into pieces. Walked out of the house.
This is all cheater stuff, you are crazy, invaded his privacy, blah blah blah, blame the victim, many have see exactly the same thing, stick to your guns. It would have been better if you had some evidence of it though. He will probably now delete all of this.
That is why he rushed home, he sensed something was up.
You tell him that you will be going home and contacting a lawyer immediately, that he must totally come clean. I suspect he will not because what you have found is only the tip of the iceberg.
1. Please contact your family, his family, friends, and tell them what has happened. He will probably do damage control, so you get to them first, expose him, it is his shame not yours, do not cover for him
2. Make plans to return home
3. Contact a lawyer to see what your options are
4. Do the 180 on him immediately, no contact, communication, etc.
5. He will use anger, if that is not working, he will beg and cry and say she meant nothing (he will begin to realise he is throwing away his family for cheap thrills and women who are nothing more than ****s - it happens). This is not remorse, he is just angry he got caught.
6. He stands to lose alot without the kids and will wake up and realise this
7. If you can be financially self sustaining, let his employer know what has happened, employers even in Asia frown on this type of thing, contact HR - blow up his world
8. Get tested for STDs - this is essential.
9. You should also tell the wife of his colleague who is being cheated on if you know her and blow up his world too, give the pair of them (your husband and him) something to think about.
So sorry this is happening to you, but some men do this stupid thing when they get to countries where women throw themselves at them. It shows poor judgement and lack of character. You can get through this.