Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Away and beyond in a hot place
Re: What's going on?
Kukabura, you sound like a strong person, you will need that strength in the next few months.
You should tell his family and friends exactly what you found, you do not want to leave yourself open to his rewriting of the story later, believe me he will try and paint you out to be the one who could not adjust to the new country so he does not lose face with family and friends, etc. His family may well still stand by him but they must know, do not cover for him.
Did you try and talk to him at all? Or did he just gas light you?
Start doing the 180 on him, no contact, no phone calls. If he calls to speak to his kids, hand the phone over. Let him see what he actions have led to.
Ask your friend back in the SE country whether she could organise a PI to follow your WH and take photos/evidence, they may come handy in the future and help you make decisions as you seem to be sitting on the fence.
He is treating you in an abdominal manner, to know he has been caught and still try and cover it up and pretend nothing is happening says alot about his character. I am so sorry.
Get a lawyer when you get back and see what your options are. Make sure from now on your record everything he says to you. I suspect it could get messy for you.
Dont forget the STD test.
He will either have a 'come to Jesus' moment and try and salvage the marriage or be glad that you have gone home and revert to his previous activities. He may well think that he can waltz back into your lives, make sure he knows he cannot.
Some western men come to SE Asia and are like kids in a sweetie shop because of the women here. Unfortunately, many get ensnared, dump their families and end up with some skank who only wants them for their money and a visa, they soon discover this after they are already stuck (seen it happen many times and heard many stories, my heart goes out to the families not the men, let them suffer on I say).
Stay the course, get yourself some IC and a few good supportive friends.