aug

Maybe she's showing you what it's like to cheat from her current perspective as the BS?

braehead

Make a move now. She may end up with an ' affair from hell' which she will regret for the rest of her life. I knew a lady who planned that once..or twice, but there was divine intervention.

Anyway, the best thing you can do for her is to become the best husband she ever wanted. It takes work and faith, but it can be done.

You will be surprised how liberating faithfulness can be. She will love you again if you do, but it does take time.

I certainly wish you the best,

braehead

Dexter Morgan

*sigh* this is why I never recommend staying married to a cheater.

crossbar

Wait....Has she told you she's going out and getting some this weekend? When you talked what did she say?

sigma1299

I hope I can do this and avoid a thread jack - I have to ask why do you never recommend staying married to a cheater?

crossbar

Personally, if she leaves for the weekend. I would bolt. I would be out of there after leaving a note about why you're gone. For a couple of reasons. You'll drive yourself mad thinking about what she's up to and number two, when she finally comes home to an empty house. The impact of what she did will finally hit her.

warlock07

FWIW She might pick up some psycho stalker in anger

Wolfgar

Maybe this is just a genius plan she's laid out to give you just a small taste of the pain you've caused her? How can you ever truly feel remorseful unless you've felt the pain yourself.

Odds are she just wants a revenge *** though

michzz

I don't agree with this.

michzz

Wolfgar

On another note, if I hadn't cheated on my wife first...I'm not sure there's any way I could have been able to forgive her for her affair (still haven't yet). Being the wayward spouse gives your another level of understanding of the inner workings of an affair and how easily you can get caught up in it and betray the person you love. Not sure this is really relevant with your situation. There were obviously problems in the relationship prior to this, you got to experience a new person...while your wife was at home being a "good" wife. Now she wants to experience that...not sure there's much you can do to change her mind other than expressing to her how it was the worst mistake you've ever made (if you even feel that way)....and that you'll never regret anything else in your life more than your affair and causing her the pain you have.

chillymorn

yep shes bluffing.

but she should get her chance to have some strange! Hell you got yours.

might end up being the best thing for you guys then you can move on or decide that the marriage is dead.

I think I would do the same thing. Don't think I could get past an affair if I didn't.

even if she dosn't now. she might get the oprotunity at a later time and think heck he did ti so nows my turn. and you might never find out or find out as shes on her way out the door.

what a mess.

I still think shes bluffing.

WhatIDeserveButNotHer

She left.


Asked her what her intentions were with having birth control and if she planned to have an affair.

She screamed at me the whole drive home..."you don't deserve to know what I'm doing, I can do whatever I want"

At home, we calmed a bit Talked some, I said I didn't tell you that because of wanting to stop you.

I didn't want you to feel the shame and remorse on top of the pain you already feel. Just this morning I could see the tear roll down your face, and know that you're repulsed by me and want to have sex with someone but can't with me.

I said I had even thought that I would just accept it and let her deal with it, but then thought...no, I have to confront her and see why she's doing it.

She said there was nothing but anger for me, and she wanted to hurt me. Said she cared some, until I asked her about it and now its pure hatred.

I was an *******, as it progressed...desperate to cling to any chance of us.

I kept blaming her...for not trying hard enough. I'm terrible.

I said, I love you and want to try. Do you feel at all that we might have a chance? Any chance? No. I hate you and its over, she said. I want a divorce. You're an ******* for even asking me.

She is so hurt.

So, she drove off for the planned weekend...not sure what's going down.

Except the divorce looks like its coming.

If I hadn't lost her before, I have now. I desperately try to hold on to her, and my verbally abusive attacks on her are just awful. I hate myself. It's all my fault.

Wolfgar

I'd send her a txt...Tell her you can never take back what you've done, but you're truly sorry. Tell her you love her and all you want is for her to be happy...that you dont want to stand in the way of that happiness. Tell her you'll move out..then wish her the best and a good weekend.

Right now she thinks she's got a free pass to do whatever she wants and you'll still be there, you have to let her know thats not the case. What you did is horrible, but it doesn't make what she's doing any better.

warlock07

Can you call the guy? Atleast block her until she is sane