If he can only whisper of his needs and hurts, then you also have to listen better than he can. So a strategy for now - instead of trying so hard to be heard, try only to listen. Instead of speaking your hurt and pain, try only to hear of his pain and hurt. Instead of demanding that he voice his love, try only to tell him yours. Do not misunderstand me. Your needs are important. Your pain is important. But if you can get close enough to him, then you will only need to whisper it, when the time is right.