I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband
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Old 12-17-2011, 10:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

Today I have decided that from today on I'm going to make less contact with my husband.

I'm no longer going to text him hello in the morning unless he texts me, I'm no longer going to tell him I miss him, no I love you's.

I will engage him with conversation when he initiates.

I will let him know about people texting me in the early monring hours, which I have started doing today and it is true that a couple people have text me very early in the morning.

I told him that someone had text me at 2am after I posted on FB that I could not sleep. I told him I was asleep when they text. He wanted to know who it was. I said "oh just a friend."

Then another time I told him that a friend text me last night at 1am and I must not have relized it because I was asleep. That time I told him it was a friend that is a woman. So He has to know that the other one is male, whcih it is, but I'm not doing anything out of line or anything.

So far its already working because He had suggested that he stay over night at our home possibly next weekend
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Old 12-17-2011, 10:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

Just keep up the no/low contact. Your change in behavior is getting his attention.
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Old 12-17-2011, 10:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

Playing games (texting info) is not part of an effective 180 strategy.
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Old 12-17-2011, 10:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

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Playing games (texting info) is not part of an effective 180 strategy.
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I'm not playing games, I actually told him the truth...no head games. I don't do head games.

I actually had not thought this out well this morning when I started doing it. It just came to me because I noticed my friend had text last night at 1am and I must have been asleep. It really caught his attention. I told him which friend this was and he knows it is female friend.

Then I also noticed a bit later on FB someone had commented on a post I made about not being a ble to sleep a couple nihgts ago. I just happened to remmeber that a male friend had text me that night at 2am. I thought since I got the reaction I did about my female friend that I should just play it off as no big deal and it was just a friend. Not too much info and just enough to make him wonder.

I have not had time to try the other form of less contact. He actually woke me up this morning with his "R U up yet" text.
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Old 12-17-2011, 10:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

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Just keep up the no/low contact. Your change in behavior is getting his attention.
Yes it seems to be working!!!

During this whole time I have also dressed as sexy as I can when I know I will be with him and that seems to work as well too. Tight jeans and low cut shirt seem to do the trick.

I also take certain situatuions to my favor. Today we wee at a movie theater with our kids. My bra strap had come undone. I mentioned it while there, with "oh no my bra strap came undone"

Later on when I was home, he was texting me and I told him I got my bra strap fixed...it opened conversation about that type of stuff. He was defiantly interested because he said well "I guess you don't need gift cards at walmart for underwear"

I've mentioned to him in the past few months the changes in clothing I have made...

I've also been talking about a friend who wants to color my hair and how his mom has a hair dresser friend that will perm my hair if I want. He seems intersted in a sexier look than I had before.
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Old 12-19-2011, 12:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

It's good that you're sprucing yourself up, but be sure you're doing it because it makes you feel good and powerful and happy and not *only* doing it to please him in a way that makes you feel cheap. Often, dolling yourself up will make you feel better about yourself, too.

Don't play headgames. Do back away and let him pursue you. You want him to prove his love, not just offer you crumbs, especially if you're having to do a 180 on him and if you're prone to being vocal and generous with your expressions of love.
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Old 12-19-2011, 11:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

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It's good that you're sprucing yourself up, but be sure you're doing it because it makes you feel good and powerful and happy and not *only* doing it to please him in a way that makes you feel cheap. Often, dolling yourself up will make you feel better about yourself, too.

Don't play headgames. Do back away and let him pursue you. You want him to prove his love, not just offer you crumbs, especially if you're having to do a 180 on him and if you're prone to being vocal and generous with your expressions of love.
Thanks for the advice. Before my husband and I even were talking about reconsliing and even really on talking terms at all. I was sprucing myself up for him. I had pictures of myself on FB, not cheap or anything, but he admitted he looked at those. I know of one comment on my page that drove him crazy about a belly button ring I was thinking of getting and another guy that made obscene comments(that is not not on a friend list anymore) My H asked this weekend if I was still planning to get my navel pierced. Hes throwing hints out about it being healed by spring/summer for a cruise

I have been practicing the approach of less contact with him, making him contact me. So far its working. I did not tell him good morning this morning thgouh text until he sent me a text that said "Btw, Morning"

He was home all day yesterday and text me all day, his choice.

I must admit, that it is very hard for me to not tell him I miss and I love him, but I feel that I'm doing it.

He brought up on saturday that he would like to spend the night with me this coming weekend.
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Old 12-19-2011, 11:28 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I've decided that I'm going to make less contact with husband

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Thanks for the advice. Before my husband and I even were talking about reconsliing and even really on talking terms at all. I was sprucing myself up for him. I had pictures of myself on FB, not cheap or anything, but he admitted he looked at those. I know of one comment on my page that drove him crazy about a belly button ring I was thinking of getting and another guy that made obscene comments(that is not not on a friend list anymore) My H asked this weekend if I was still planning to get my navel pierced. Hes .
I was sprucing myself up for him. I meant NOT sprucing myself up for him here.

I have a whole new wardrobe made up of VC and other things that he has surely noticed and when I was spending on myself him and I were not even talking. He has noticed these new things.

I never spend any time on myself before except when we were getting ready for a Carribean Cruise, at which time he would buy expensive bikinis from VC for me to wear cause he liked to look at me.
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