Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship? - Page 12 - Talk About Marriage
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post #166 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 06:53 AM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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You know what else she said? She said when they were together all she was thinking that wished I could too feel such happiness. Well, LA-DI-FRICKIN'-DA!!! Isn't that poetic!!
You couldn't think about it at the time.. that is such a WTF thing to say. A good come back "So when he was pounding you anally, you thought about how you were ****ing me in the ass too and how much I would enjoy it? Gee, thanks."

Deep six her.


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post #167 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:07 AM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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You know what else she said? She said when they were together all she was thinking that wished I could too feel such happiness. Well, LA-DI-FRICKIN'-DA!!! Isn't that poetic!!
Why don't you meet a nice woman who is only interested in casual sex, and spend a few evenings with her. Then come home and tell your "wife" that you now understand what she means because you've experienced the "happiness", then give her all the details. I guarantee you that she won't be happy about it ... but I'm convinced you will fell better.


"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
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post #168 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:27 AM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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You know what else she said? She said when they were together all she was thinking that wished I could too feel such happiness. Well, LA-DI-FRICKIN'-DA!!! Isn't that poetic!!


Barf.
Next time you should tell her ...you know when i am with you now, and we seem to be bonding, and i look into your eyes, and i caress your face, i just want you to know "I FEEL DEAD!!!"
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post #169 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:38 AM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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She's been talking about sex. I told her I'm okay with waiting 90 days after she last had sex to get an std test. Blech.
So would you say that you're now a bit more solidly in the "let's just keep this together until the kids are gone" camp yourself?

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #170 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 10:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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So would you say that you're now a bit more solidly in the "let's just keep this together until the kids are gone" camp yourself?
I get what you're getting at. I don't think so. Unless she starts putting forth some serious effort like IC and truly owning her sh*t, it would just show she's biding time. And I really hate the idea of being a crutch. I've been a doormat for too long.

I mean, I love sex and all, but it still seems like a lot of effort towards something that has an expiration date.
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post #171 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 02:41 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

It's like I told you on another board. You're dragging a dead dog on a leash through the park. End this.

It's not so much the affair but the prior three years of abuse. I've read all your prior threads. The limbo you've lived through really pisses me off. Put a stake in it and be the best Dad you can be to your kids.
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post #172 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 11:37 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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I get what you're getting at. I don't think so. Unless she starts putting forth some serious effort like IC and truly owning her sh*t, it would just show she's biding time. And I really hate the idea of being a crutch. I've been a doormat for too long.

I mean, I love sex and all, but it still seems like a lot of effort towards something that has an expiration date.
It's already expired

“The time's gone by for sentiment and all that foolery. Mercy's all very well but after all it's justice that clinches the bargain.”


“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
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post #173 of 204 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 11:56 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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I have not told them. I know the older ones know something is up and I have been pondering what to tell them. It's kind of an important Spring around here as our oldest one is about to go off to college. I'd hate to have her leave amidst such chaos without an understanding of what's happening.
There is always a good excuse to do nothing hoping it'll all just go away.

Letting life take you where it will only works in the movies unless you're lucky.
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post #174 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

Zombie Thread!!

UPDATE:

Heading to divorce. She broke NC. Took it underground. I saw a mysterious number with hours of minutes spent talking to it from her number. She claimed she had no idea who it could be. 3 hours over 3 weeks spent talking to this person and she can't remember? Right.

Trying to navigate towards an uncontested divorce as quickly and cheaply as possible.

Our 12 and 17 yr olds will live with me while our oldest goes off to college. Lucky for her. WW moves out.

Sorry for not heeding your advice earlier. I was in full denial. No more of that.

Peace.
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post #175 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:27 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

Sorry to hear, brother.

Has she already moved out?


"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #176 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:34 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

Man will the store take back the bag of dicks i have been munching on the last two months.

Good riddance, Squid.
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post #177 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

She hasn't moved out yet. She's in the process of looking. Of course she only works part-time at the moment and will likely need my help towards her living expenses. I'd love her gone ASAP just so me and the kids can begin our process. We haven't told the kids yet. We're going to in a couple weeks after school is finished. I will have a gentle talk with them about my reasons for wanting divorce (infidelity) while she will likely minimize and say it's because we couldn't work things out.

She deemed me unsuitable for reconciliation because my emotions were too "inconsistent" after her affair. I didn't handle the affair in a manner that suited her. Aww...
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post #178 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

Fair enough, ButtPunch
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post #179 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 03:46 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

You will heal from this

We all do.

Life will get better immensely once you lose the dead weight.
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post #180 of 204 (permalink) Old 05-12-2017, 04:02 PM
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Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?

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Originally Posted by squid1035 View Post
She hasn't moved out yet. She's in the process of looking. Of course she only works part-time at the moment and will likely need my help towards her living expenses. I'd love her gone ASAP just so me and the kids can begin our process. We haven't told the kids yet. We're going to in a couple weeks after school is finished. I will have a gentle talk with them about my reasons for wanting divorce (infidelity) while she will likely minimize and say it's because we couldn't work things out.

She deemed me unsuitable for reconciliation because my emotions were too "inconsistent" after her affair. I didn't handle the affair in a manner that suited her. Aww...
I read your entire thread today and I'm happy to see that you were able to grow from a hopeless doormat to somebody with a healthy sense of self-worth. Your nightmare will soon be over.
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