Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?
I know this will underwhelm everyone here but we had a long talk tonight. Pretty much told her that if you look at all the evidence, everything points to, at least, an EA. She says she agreed and acted totally naive but still flatly denied. And I said every bit of this relationship with OM is a total disrespect to myself, our kids, and this family. She insisted that boundaries have been set and that nothing has or will happen, and that they only meet in public places, never in private. I explained how much our crappy marriage is already affecting the older kids and how they're protecting the youngest one from it. She agreed and turned sad. I honestly don't think it's physical but it's headed that way. I told her to look up limerence and tell me if any of that sounds familiar. And that she's either not being truthful with me, herself or is in total denial, but she's headed for an EA if it's not there yet. She went quiet.
I know I look weak as hell.
I reached out to a guy from my men's group and he gave some advice on what to do before I went to a divorce attorney. He went through something like this recently with a woman that was full on crazy. He told me to get my financial accounts in order first before I mention anything to her about divorce. I'll be consulting with an attorney in a few days.
Look, I have no intention of kicking her to the curb and leaving her out in the cold. She's the mother of my children and I do genuinely care about her. I told her that I can't take this marriage anymore and living a lie like this, even for the sake of our kids. She looked very worried. And I left it at that.
That's all I have thus far.