Re: Possible EA or just me being paranoid about a platonic friendship?
Squid, you need time to regroup right now.
If her screwing van guy is a deal breaker for you, then go ahead and file for divorce. There's nothing wrong or rash with making that decision.
But, if you're unsure what you want to do, or if you think you'd like to try to reconcile, don't make any promises or decisions. Don't have sex with her! In some places it is considered by the court to be forgiveness for her cheating if you have sex with her after finding out about the affair. And, in some places it can make a difference in a divorce. It may not where you live, but do some research before you jump in bed with her. Also, just as importantly, sex can totally cloud your judgement. Hoovering is a term used sometimes to describe how a woman will use sex and affection to derail a man's will to end the relationship. Many couples engage in hysterical bonding, which is having sex like crazy. And, quite importantly, she could get pregnant if you have sex.
Eat healthy, get exercise, cut out the booze, cigs, and sugary junk food.
You should consult with an attorney asap. Most will give a free 15 to 30 minute consultation where you can find out how things generally work where you live. You need this information.