So, I apologize in advance for what I am sure is the 5,000th post regarding infidelity, but here goes. Thank you in advance for any input you all are able to provide. I have been sleuthing here in one form or another for a few years and have learned much; thus i trust the input of this community. So again, thank you in advance. I mean that.
Well, I'm going to keep this as fact based as possible and I will address any questions from there. My wife of 12 years, together 16, have had a fairly idyllic relationship. About 3 years ago, she decided that being a mother was not enough (no issues with that) and decided to pursue a career in the personal training industry. Fast forward to the latter half of 2016, and I'll bring us up to speed on our current situation.
I was working in law enforcement for the past decade. Recently retired, I have been enjoying retirement and, quite frankly, the fruits of a prosperous family. I say this not to be a d!ck or imprudent but to help show that finances are not an issue of concern. Hell, I'm adopted- if anyone understands how lucky they are (from a financial point of view) its me. I became a cop not out of necessity but because I wanted to serve the community. Anyway, I digress.
Let's fast forward to oh....August 2016. A new gym manager, also an ex cop, comes on the scene. Immediately, and I mean immediately, the hair on the back of my neck rises. I don't trust this guy- I worked with his type during my career. Ultimate alpha male in the sense that he will bang anything with a pulse. I didn't', and still do not, have any proof of this but if any of you know a cop, or an ex cop, can explain this feeling to them and they will know EXACTLY what I am talking about.
I mention to my wife that I have a weird vibe from this guy- I can't explain it but I just feel something is not right. So, after grabbing her phone and running a full LE diagnostic on it I determine that yes, she had been texting this guy from the gym. Not telling me about it, deleting the texts, etc. I confront and she says " I enjoyed the attention etc, I didn't know how to respond, etc.". Keep in mind I am a cop, so my proclivity for bull**** is at a minimum at all times. How she doesn't think I'll pick up on this after dealing with hundreds, if not thousands of domestic incidents, is beyond me but I digress. I ask if she had deleted any inappropriate text from this yahoo, and of course, she responds in the negative. I tell her I have grabbed all the texts from her phone and she then tells me that she thinks he has been flirtatious but she's handled it etc. I tell her ok (I'm really not ok but I'm a trained investigator- if you're gonna hang yourself with your own rope I can't help but watch) I'm glad she's got it under control.
Fast forward to......well, tonight. I have a sinking feeling that something is going on. Longer hours at work with no noticeable bump in income, buried in her phone- like all day when she's home. Changes password on her phone as well, I find this out because I go to use her phone and she tries to get it out of my hands first, until I realize the code she used no longer works. At this point she tells me that she changed the code because she doesn't want our 7 year old to be privy to inappropriate text messages. However, and again I fall back on my training in and general intelligence as a functional , observant human to realize that she didn't tell me about this until it as absolutely necessary. Red flag raised mentally, but I don't say anything....because now I've gone in to full investigative mode.
The week keeps staying busy, with her having longer hours at work- working nights when she didn't before, etc. Also, I start noticing changes in our bedroom activities., I will spare the details but I will say that anyone who is in tune with their partner knows when a new move or postilion turn up.
So, I decide to let a few months pass- she's due for a new phone for Xmas, etc. She gets the new phone but doesn't deactivate, or delete for that matter, the old Iphone. So I am able to see that EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION she had with this ass hat, has been deleted. Every. Single. One. Now, keep in mind, I had already addressed this very issue months prior; and here we are, with her being secretive on the cell phone, hiding access, etc., and oh by the way there are innumerable Facebook messages I have yet to go through. I am assuming I am not crazy thinking something has happened....If I can provide any more details I will. I value the support and intelligence of this community and am open to any suggestions on next actions. Thanks in advance for reading yet another crappy story.