Seriously. I hope this is sarcasm. Your shoulder was so hurting you couldn't even type a couple days ago so there's no way you ordered and received this book yet. Plus, you're a couple of years out from your affair so any physiological withdrawal feelings you may be having over such loss at this point would be clearly intentional. This has to be a joke to provoke all us "mean and bitter" betrayed. I just can't fathom that after all that's been said on this thread, you MUST know how hurtful just the workbook title alone would be to a betrayed spouse.
I was one of the calmest most gentle empathetic betrayed husbands EVER and I'd have HATED that book and the thought of my wife needing/wanting to seriously work some bullcrap 5 stage self-help recovery book because OM abandoned her instead of a 200 stage book about marital recovery would just be too much.
In MOST homes, 5 stages to get over your friggin' boyfriend will rightfully end up being 5 bounces down the front steps to the front curb if that book isn't ripped up and thrown away immediately.
Not to mention, any book that breaks things down into seeming convenient steps like that is bunk. It appeals to our nature of liking checklists and checking things off once completed. it's like the Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief bullcrap ~ it correctly identifies typical feelings after the loss of a loved one but putting them in any order like there is any natural or normal flow to it is a misnomer.
I am not bring sarcastic at all. I ordered the e-book version of the workbook as an instant download, and "fill it out" by alternating between typing and a speech to text program. It takes a little longer to type than usual, but since I was injured just under a week ago, I'm getting better and managing fine.
I ordered and received the e workbook a couple hours ago. And I know that the five stages of grief aren't natural, orderly, linear stages. They're just categories of different types of feelings, and you can feel different "stages" in different orders, or even be in two or the "stages" at once.
And you're right, right now I'm not using the workbook in reference to my OM. The person I'm trying to get over at present is a dear friend whom I had to remove from my life because he defended my abusive OM. It really stung to hear him say I deserved it, and I feel guilty and angry and hurt. When said former friend mentioned the OM's name I was suddenly feeling all that old fear, anger, and shame and I wanted a way to work through it (again) and also feel at peace about losing my former friend. Books can't work miracles, of course, but I imagine this might help me deal with the latest wave of flashbacks and bad feelings.
But I can see how this book would be useful to help other people deal with getting over the AP. If I had access to it 3 years ago when I actually DID miss the OM and was feeling like I'd die without him (emotionally and literally) I feel like this book would have helped me process.
I wish I could word this in a way that would be less triggering to you. This is just what I've found that might help me deal with co-dependent fears of abandonment, and learn to work through my triggers, bad feelings, fears, bad memories, etc without needing to seek outside validation.