Re: New to EA
Definitely EA. How you proceed from here is up to you and what you deem an acceptable line for your H to cross before you walk. If the EA is not a deal breaker for you then I would recommend waiting it out and digging a little more to see if PA has happened. Look into it more but be careful because snooping has legal ramifications. If you uncover PA, get him to confess first. Nothing bad can come from a confession. Above all, if you decide to wait it out, gather your evidence but do not show all your cards at first. I made that mistake. Showing your cards too early gives them power and the opportunity to scamper and regroup to take the affair more underground and continue cake eating.
If any sort of PA has happened here is my advice: Be ready to walk. Boot him to the curb and don't be nice about it. I know this is easier said than done but if you're nice about it and don't give him the impression that he is about to lose you permanently than you have no chance in hell to go through a successful R. A successful R requires total remorse from the cheater and 100% dedication to righting their wrongs. THEY need to do most of the work. This is very difficult with an EA/PA because they're not sure about their commitment to you in the first place.
Realize that right now you are a doormat, a fallback, a second choice. He is exploring the option of moving on to somebody else but he's not yet sure if he wants to walk away from you. Trust me when I say you do not want to be in this position, it is degrading and it will utterly destroy you. Empower yourself now, disconnect and get comfortable with the idea that you may D, do things for yourself, make yourself feel good, go to the gym and get in shape, get in touch with friends, activities, or goals that you may have put aside because of your marriage. Get comfortable with the idea of being alone. Go out with friends and have a good time. Remember that a powerful, independent partner is much more attractive than a needy, pathetic one.