Sharing the coping version - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
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Sharing the coping version

Dear All, how do you cope with ur spouse cheated on you? How to overcome when it is not the first time? Can this marriage still work out?

recently just married. husband cheated 2nd time.
1st was short. but 2nd is the worse. 2nd coinside with our wedding ceremony. this is hard to bear. after our wedding ceremony. wanting to try for baby. after a few try then realise that affair.

i cant forget even when i forgave.

in pain everyday. in love everyday. putting a smile everyday. trying and trying everyday. even trying for baby now.

i always feel that a relationship shouldnt just end unless we dont love each other anymore. so i have to overcome this. because we both still in love.

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 06:32 PM
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Re: Sharing the coping version

You're your own worst enemy w/ this kind of thinking.

Your husband is a serial cheater, and he will never stop cheating. He's shown you that.

Pull the plug on this marriage, take some time to heal, and fix your picker.

Sorry.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 06:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sharing the coping version

i know u feel bad for me. but i really wanna try out with him. all i want now is for me to move on.

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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 07:10 PM
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Re: Sharing the coping version

Quote:
Originally Posted by waswere View Post
Dear All, how do you cope with ur spouse cheated on you? How to overcome when it is not the first time? Can this marriage still work out?

recently just married. husband cheated 2nd time.
1st was short. but 2nd is the worse. 2nd coinside with our wedding ceremony. this is hard to bear. after our wedding ceremony. wanting to try for baby. after a few try then realise that affair.

i cant forget even when i forgave.

in pain everyday. in love everyday. putting a smile everyday. trying and trying everyday. even trying for baby now.

i always feel that a relationship shouldnt just end unless we dont love each other anymore. so i have to overcome this. because we both still in love.
I'm so sorry.

If you really want to stay married, my advice would be to look after yourself first, your health can sometimes take a turn for the worst during these times. Make sure to eat healthy and drink enough fluids.

Get yourself a good therapist. Even if he doesn't want to participate. Do it for you.

Try to ensure healthy boundaries for you so that you can trust him again. He needs to know that he cannot cheat for a 3rd time, otherwise it will never stop.

Be careful considering having a child until your mind is strong and your self esteem is healthy, if he's not a great husband, he might not be a great father either.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 07:14 PM
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Re: Sharing the coping version

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i know u feel bad for me. but i really wanna try out with him. all i want now is for me to move on.
Divorce tends to accomplish that pretty well.

And don't worry about how whoever feels for you -- that will get you nothing.

Instead, do what needs doing.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 09:08 AM
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Re: Sharing the coping version

Please don't have children with this man. A terrible husband who cheats multiple times (when you were getting married!) will be an awful father -- parenthood makes things tougher, not better! He may like you, but he doesn't love you -- you don't cheat multiple times on someone you love. You deserve better.

So do your future children a favor by finding a better father for them than this guy will ever be. Definitely do not bring a child into this relationship, you will be only giving him another person who will be even more defenseless to his emotional abuse.
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