Need more proof
Without going into detail, I found emails and multiple dating sites on my husband's phone and computer two years ago. My husband insisted that he was only "curious" and began looking around as a "lark." (he's retired, I work full time). I was shocked, sickened, devastated because I had completely trusted him. However, he insisted that he loves me, is sorry, and swears that he never cheated with any of the women even though there is evidence that he took them out to expensive restaurants. He claims nothing ever "happened" but I don't believe him. We went through couples counseling (been married 13 years, both our second marriage, children out of house at college) and he said he wants to "make me happy," and doesn't want a divorce. That was more than two years ago. Since that time, he has treated me in a caring, polite way, but there have been many times when it seemed that he was acting oddly or in a suspicious way, that made it appear that he was thinking about -- or still involved with -- someone else. He doesn't know that I went to a lawyer, who told me that I need "current proof" that he is being unfaithful. The lawyer said that if we went to couples counseling and have made love since then, that would mean I "forgave" him and could not charge him with adultery. Two years ago after I found out about the dating sites, I hired a PI who followed him for two weeks and found nothing. I can't afford another investigation (it cost me $1,500). Here's what I need now: How can I "catch" him -- is there a tiny gps device to hide in his wallet to follow his whereabouts, if he's going to a hotel? He has "allowed" me to look at his computer, but I suspect he has another one, and a secret pre-paid phone. I need to be able to prove ongoing and current adultery. At this point I no longer trust him -- I am looking out for myself and I am appearing pleasant and "status quo" until I can save up the retainer for a lawyer ... and in the meantime get definite evidence and catch him. I hope this doesn't make me sound harsh, but I feel that he is playing a game with me, and will con me for as long as he can get away with it. I suspect that the reason why he doesn't want a divorce is because he knows that in our pre-nup (which he wrote) he stated that if there is any "evidence of infidelity" or adultery, that the betrayed spouse will receive a stated (large) sum of $$. Please help!
Without going into detail, I found emails and multiple dating sites on my husband's phone and computer two years ago. My husband insisted that he was only "curious" and began looking around as a "lark." (he's retired, I work full time). I was shocked, sickened, devastated because I had completely trusted him. However, he insisted that he loves me, is sorry, and swears that he never cheated with any of the women even though there is evidence that he took them out to expensive restaurants. He claims nothing ever "happened" but I don't believe him. We went through couples counseling (been married 13 years, both our second marriage, children out of house at college) and he said he wants to "make me happy," and doesn't want a divorce. That was more than two years ago. Since that time, he has treated me in a caring, polite way, but there have been many times when it seemed that he was acting oddly or in a suspicious way, that made it appear that he was thinking about -- or still involved with -- someone else. He doesn't know that I went to a lawyer, who told me that I need "current proof" that he is being unfaithful. The lawyer said that if we went to couples counseling and have made love since then, that would mean I "forgave" him and could not charge him with adultery. Two years ago after I found out about the dating sites, I hired a PI who followed him for two weeks and found nothing. I can't afford another investigation (it cost me $1,500). Here's what I need now: How can I "catch" him -- is there a tiny gps device to hide in his wallet to follow his whereabouts, if he's going to a hotel? He has "allowed" me to look at his computer, but I suspect he has another one, and a secret pre-paid phone. I need to be able to prove ongoing and current adultery. At this point I no longer trust him -- I am looking out for myself and I am appearing pleasant and "status quo" until I can save up the retainer for a lawyer ... and in the meantime get definite evidence and catch him. I hope this doesn't make me sound harsh, but I feel that he is playing a game with me, and will con me for as long as he can get away with it. I suspect that the reason why he doesn't want a divorce is because he knows that in our pre-nup (which he wrote) he stated that if there is any "evidence of infidelity" or adultery, that the betrayed spouse will receive a stated (large) sum of $$. Please help!