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post #46 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 03:52 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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Not necessarily. It all depends on the state's statutory rape law. In New York, it would be doubtful that your friend could be charged because you were 15 and she was 17. If there had been 4 or more years difference in ages, then she may be able to be charged. It all depends on the age of the minor and the age of the partner at the time of the incident. Each state's law could differ.

This teacher's behavior was quite egregious with the age difference and the plying the child with alcohol. Does anyone want someone so stupid teaching their children?

Even if the boy does think he was one lucky bastard, she should have known better. She is a predator.
Big difference between 15/17 and 17/27.

The student/teacher relationship also has to be taken into account, as well as the fact that this lady was likely providing alcohol for several underage kids.

IOW, yep.


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post #47 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 04:09 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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Vlad, you need to take that up with tech. I neither called him, nor agreed with him being either, "lucky" or a "bastard".
I'z being tongue in cheek my man. If you take away "bastard" in the phrase, you're still left with "lucky". But to get down to reality, what redblood American heterosexual teenage boy hadn't dreamed about doing a teacher. My senior year, better than a half century ago, we had the thirty something year old librarian that was built like a brick house. I'd walked a mile through a blinding storm just to hear her say my name over a telephone.

If you don't embody controversy, what you say will become just another part of the media driven culture of stifling thought and debate about issues.
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post #48 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 04:17 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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I'z being tongue in cheek my man. If you take away "bastard" in the phrase, you're still left with "lucky". But to get down to reality, what redblood American heterosexual teenage boy hadn't dreamed about doing a teacher. My senior year, better than a half century ago, we had the thirty something year old librarian that was built like a brick house. I'd walked a mile through a blinding storm just to hear her say my name over a telephone.
Lol.Now if that's not an expression of true love then I never heard one.
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post #49 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 04:44 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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In 2014 alone, there were 781 reported cases of teachers and other school employees accused or convicted of sexual relationships with students.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/poste...=.81e05286a9a4
I can't believe stupidity of these teachers. What are they thinking? They deserve their ruined lives just because they are so dumb. We have had a few of these types of incidents at the high schools in our area and the teachers were all caught because the student would brag to friends through text. Though it does make me wonder how many teachers don't get caught. I had a high school classmate marry one of our teachers after graduation. No one knew anything was going on. A couple of years ago I was reading a FB page dedicated to where I grew up and the teachers sleeping with students topic came up. It was pretty shocking how many people had stories.
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post #50 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 05:09 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

Apparently some people can't tell the difference between "immoral" and "illegal". There is only a tenuous connection between those two concepts, and in many cases they have virtually nothing to do with one another.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #51 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 05:45 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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I don't see the correlation between you and your "girlfriend" having sex at daddy's pool when she is not your instructor, versus a teacher/student relationship where the teacher has been to university and likely taken courses in philosophy, higher mathematics, and English literature which is full of sexual analogy and suggestion.

The student in this case is likely a drug user who has an underdeveloped frontal lobe and amygdala based on that possible drug use and the level of education he is currently in.

These are huge differences in the educator and student. In this instance, I am leaving out the idea that she is supposed to be his educator, and as such trusted to teach him things he needs to know to get himself through life in as productive way as possible. I guess the experience of sex was meant to help him learn how to get a good woman who has a good education and tenured position with a company that pays her a healthy salary. That way, she can take care of him?

What argument can you possibly make that makes any sense?
Earlier you asked what should be done to protect teens and also weed out abusers. I fell in love with my husband when I was 16 and he was 26. Both our parents knew and gave it their blessing. I have also been a victim of abuse. The difference in how i felt ineach of these relationships is night and day. Even though I said I wanted to be in the abusive relationship, I also began having frequent panic attacks and other signs of psychological distress when I was thinking of or in contact with my abuser. That psychological distress, not age, is what law enforcement should be looking for when determining the legality of a relationship.

I think the laws for abuse need to be tightened. There needs to be a "registered domestic abuser" list for anyone who can be proven to have threatened anyone in order to get sex or a relationship, or who physically harms or emotionally manipulates their partner. Punishments for emotional, physical, and sexual abuse should be lifelong if there is evidence of it, like a VAR recording, a camera, or chat logs. If it's just the alleged abuser's word against the alleged victim, then the victim should be able to file a retraining order more easily, and the consequences for violating that order should be much harsher, like 25 to life in prison.

Meanwhile, the age of consent should be dramatically lowered, perhaps to 14 like it is in Japan, or maybe 15. The concept of "child sexual abuse" in regards to a teenager should be done away with altogether, and the moral and legal line should be based only on consent. Basically, the law should be based much more on whether the younger party feels safe, happy, and mentally okay with the relationship, and much less on an arbitrary number.


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post #52 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 05:55 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

Ella,

I do find many of your posts to be.......different, if not interesting.

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post #53 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 06:00 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

"Meanwhile, the age of consent should be dramatically lowered, perhaps to 14 like it is in Japan, or maybe 15. The concept of "child sexual abuse" should be done away with altogether, and the moral and legal line should be based only on consent. Basically, the law should be based much more on whether the younger party feels safe, happy, and mentally okay with the relationship, and much less on an arbitrary number."

I'm going to go out on a limb here and speculate that you don't know what the **** you are talking about.
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post #54 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 06:10 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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Meanwhile, the age of consent should be dramatically lowered, perhaps to 14 like it is in Japan, or maybe 15. The concept of "child sexual abuse" in regards to a teenager should be done away with altogether, and the moral and legal line should be based only on consent. Basically, the law should be based much more on whether the younger party feels safe, happy, and mentally okay with the relationship, and much less on an arbitrary number.
The problem with this is how does one define consent. Consent usually implies the ability of the person giving consent to actually understand fully what they are consenting to do and all the possible consequences. It is a fact that teenagers are generally impulsive and have difficulty delaying gratification so that certainly would affect their ability to give informed consent. Should they have to undergo a psychological evaluation to determine their level of maturity or cognitive ability to make appropriate decisions?
There are certainly some grey areas when it comes to consent.
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post #55 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 06:47 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

Legally speaking, consent is impossible prior to the age of consent.

Duh.

Anyone OK w/ a 13-year-old "consenting" to sexual activity w/ a 30-year-old should pretty much be ignored, and w/ respect to pretty much anything.


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post #56 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 07:01 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and speculate that you don't know what the **** you are talking about.
As someone who fell in love with my now-husband when I was 16 and he was 26, and as someone who is still to this day judged for having been a minor in love with an adult, I'd say I know exactly what I'm talking about.


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post #57 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 07:12 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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Ella,

I do find many of your posts to be.......different, if not interesting.
As someone who fell in love with an adult as a minor, I'm exhausted of being treated like a victim in a relationship where I'm perfectly happy and healthy. Sometimes, people insist that I'm a victim of abuse from my very loving and very devoted husband whether I know it or not!! Meanwhile, I've also been actually abused, and there are people who have said I "deserved it" or I "should have known better".

So what I've learned from this is that age and gender have a LOT to do with how people perceive abuse, consent, etc, where it really shouldn't be. A teenage girl is always a helpless victim, even if she's happy and in love and there are no control issues in the relationship? An older man is always the abuser in a troubled relationship? These are stereotypes, and they're wrong.

Adult men can be abused. Teenage girls can be abused. Adult women can be abused. Teenage boys can be abused.

Adult men can consent. Teenage girls can consent. Adult women can consent. Teenage boys can consent.

Whether a relationship is healthy and mutually satisfying has NOTHING to do with age or gender. It had a whole lot more to do with the individual mental health of both parties in the relationship. People need to look at the couple's dynamics and at the individual persons' personalities, temperament, and mental wellness, and look for signs of trauma if they suspect a relationship isn't healthy. But no, that takes too much work and too much examination, so law enforcement just places these inaccurate and stereotypical labels on people.


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post #58 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 09:09 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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Earlier you asked what should be done to protect teens and also weed out abusers. I fell in love with my husband when I was 16 and he was 26. Both our parents knew and gave it their blessing. I have also been a victim of abuse. The difference in how i felt ineach of these relationships is night and day. Even though I said I wanted to be in the abusive relationship, I also began having frequent panic attacks and other signs of psychological distress when I was thinking of or in contact with my abuser. That psychological distress, not age, is what law enforcement should be looking for when determining the legality of a relationship.

I think the laws for abuse need to be tightened. There needs to be a "registered domestic abuser" list for anyone who can be proven to have threatened anyone in order to get sex or a relationship, or who physically harms or emotionally manipulates their partner. Punishments for emotional, physical, and sexual abuse should be lifelong if there is evidence of it, like a VAR recording, a camera, or chat logs. If it's just the alleged abuser's word against the alleged victim, then the victim should be able to file a retraining order more easily, and the consequences for violating that order should be much harsher, like 25 to life in prison.

Meanwhile, the age of consent should be dramatically lowered, perhaps to 14 like it is in Japan, or maybe 15. The concept of "child sexual abuse" in regards to a teenager should be done away with altogether, and the moral and legal line should be based only on consent. Basically, the law should be based much more on whether the younger party feels safe, happy, and mentally okay with the relationship, and much less on an arbitrary number.
I have to side with Blondi on this. You are way out on a limb here. My daughter is almost 15 and there is no way in hell she should be married or having sex with someone who is an adult. Her thinking is so flawed on so many levels that it's sometimes difficult to figure out if she actually has a brain in there sometimes. Don't get me wrong, she's a straight A student and very bright for her age, but her ability to make life altering decisions is way lacking. She could easily be manipulated or intimidated into doing something stupid. Kids that age are not great at understanding consequences. Hell, how could they be? They have no real experience from which to draw.

The fact that your parents didn't care enough to stop you from being married at 16 should not be an indication that ALL kids that age are ready to be adults. How you can argue this point is beyond my 47 year old comprehension.

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post #59 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 09:21 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

MODERATOR WARNING:-

This thread is starting to get off topic.

Please, no more threadjacks, OK?


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post #60 of 80 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 09:31 PM
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Re: Another teacher sex story, it's like no one watches the news

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When I was barely fifteen I took lifeguard training classes,the instructor paired us off with people of similar height.I wasn't fully grown at that stage physically but mentally I was fully developed.I was put training with a girl called Denise who was seventeen.I suggested to her that we practice at my dads pool because the classes were only once a week.Well,I had a hell of a time with Denise and I don't mean swimming,but I never considered myself as a rape or sexual abuse victim.
She wasnt your adult teacher in a position of responsibility.
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