My Bed Started Walking - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:51 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

I feel bad for you OP. But I would have felt worse for you if you had come home early and found her bent over by some stranger in your marital bed. Be glad you have been spared that.

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post #47 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
I feel bad for you OP. But I would have felt worse for you if you had come home early and found her bent over by some stranger in your marital bed. Be glad you have been spared that.
I know 3 pilots in real life who came home unexpectedly early to see their wife in bed with the OM. And I caught my wife in a major deception due to coming home unexpectedly early. Pilots joke about don't go home early without calling first, but it is based on too many such experiences.
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post #48 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 01:22 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Want to say that I am sorry that you are here. Also I have an old maple sleigh bed and the only time that it moves is when I am trying to get a gf to tap out. I would say that you are 100% right on your hunch. Now you can use VAR's and key loggers to get proof but why? Do you really want to hear someone else making the bed move with her in it? Do you really need to see the body that bad? With the drugs and other stuff what does she really bring to your life? Sounds to me that it is long past time to pop smoke and leave her to do her thing while you find happiness.
Pop smoke....that triggers me timbers, run for the cover that up-range lead.. not find.

Pop smoke........your co-pilot, en Casa, is doing that.....

What is she hiding?

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #49 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 01:42 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

This wife sounds like Ginger McKenna from Casino. A drug addicted tart who uses men.
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post #50 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
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My Bed Started Walking

Late last night I was reading some of the technical info from weight lifters post (thanks by the way)I decided to hack into my wife's google play and take a look. So I got in, was only in her account for a few minutes I changed browsers came back and had been locked out and when I try to login it says the password had been changed. This is 230 in the morning. I guess she has her phone set up to notify her?? Very strange. I found where she had purchased a picture vault app, presumably for nude pics. I of course haven't seen anything like that. I also saw an app called Hushed for calling anonymously. Several of those purchases. It's very sad and I'm in a terrible place with this. It's very hard for me to not confront her very hard. I'm on the road and won't be home till Wednesday night. Thanks for all your help.


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post #51 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 04:49 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Deny everything if she asks you about it. Though it could be the location of logging in is shown on her history, in which case she'd guess it was you doing the hacking. Still, I would either deny everything (and blame hackers), or if there is some solid reason you could have accidentally hit her login you could claim that.

Is she very savvy about tech?

Anyhow, expect her to ask you about it. Or, if she doesn't, she knows it was you and will proceed more carefully in the future.

You know enough now about her activities. Picture vault, the calling app. That all sounds like affair enabling stuff.

Another approach is to just be very direct. But, warning, you must be ready to pull the plug on the marriage when you do this. What you do is ask her for her phone when you get home. And ask her to sit you down at her computer and log in to it. Tell her there are no secrets in a marriage, and you have seen enough to believe she is keeping secrets. (Don't defend or justify yourself on any of this). Tell her things as of this moment are going to be completely transparent. You both share all your passwords and electronics. The reason is to kill any chance for unjustified suspicions, thus strengthening the marriage. Ask to see her picture vault and the history of the calling app. Ask her why she bought those apps.

There is no room for secrecy in a marriage. Privacy is in the bathroom and the doctor's office.

But you must be prepared for her to deny, stall, get angry, accuse you of affairs (my wife did that, with the old thing about how all pilots and flight attendants are sleeping together all the time), call you controlling, etc.

Either she willingly and immediately gives you full access to everything, or she is hiding things she knows you would be very upset to learn about. If you would pull the eject handle based on this, it is your strong move. But few are able to do this. Most (me included) wanted to believe the sliver of a chance things weren't as they seemed, that there was some legitimate explanation.

If you can't do that, your strategy would be to investigate further. Which means keeping your suspicions hidden from her. You want her to be as incautious as possible so she unwittingly reveals something.

From now on, before you hack into anything or do any confrontations, come to this forum first. We could have warned you about what you did.
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post #52 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 04:58 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Enough, you do not need more info now, or ever really. Just use the 180 and file. Do not tell her just do it. Anything else is a waste of time and your life. Truman once said "if it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck, it's a duck". End of story.

She might/will press you. Which is common with a person with her background and recent actions. For them public image is everything and they will never stop blame shifting and demanding you "prove" it without every admitting the truth. They live and die by TT. They becme expert at DARVO. Not sure if I posted Marducks post on the subject. If I have not use the @ function and ask me to do so.

Above all else: the infidelity, gas lighting, TT, Blameshifting, DARVO, etc must END. It ends with either a divorce or reconcilation. Understand she must ask you for it, and tell you how she will achieve it. You cannot ask or suggest anything to her until she shows you she has read up on the subject, asked your advise as to what type of therapist to see, etc. I could give you a long list of things that must be done BUT the start of the list must start with you.

She loves you, what's to reconcile. You "reconcile how"? Her: "I need your help to figure that out". You "no, yout got to prove things by actions. You got to get ideas on your own. I will respond but you got to lead". She comes back with ideas. You "ok, what else"?

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #53 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:03 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

To echo what @Thor posted (we cross posted). The things he mentions are exactly what she needs to tell you. She is sn adult, not a child. A lot of her problem is a part of her is still a child waiting for her abuser to tell her what to do. Marriage is between two adults, no children allowed.

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #54 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:17 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Late last night I was reading some of the technical info from weight lifters post (thanks by the way)I decided to hack into my wife's google play and take a look. So I got in, was only in her account for a few minutes I changed browsers came back and had been locked out and when I try to login it says the password had been changed. This is 230 in the morning. I guess she has her phone set up to notify her?? Very strange. I found where she had purchased a picture vault app, presumably for nude pics. I of course haven't seen anything like that. I also saw an app called Hushed for calling anonymously. Several of those purchases. It's very sad and I'm in a terrible place with this. It's very hard for me to not confront her very hard. I'm on the road and won't be home till Wednesday night. Thanks for all your help.


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Jet, I am a wayward spouse. So, for what it is worth, here is my opinion. She is fooling around. I am not saying she has had actually sex yet, i can't speak to that, although it does seem suspicious. But there is too much "hinky" stuff going on with the internet. There is something that she is trying to hide. I agree that she is waiting for you to catch her. It sounds like she is experienced enough in things that if she didn't want you to know, you wouldn't. I also agree that you have to completely turn the table on her and make her come to you. She either comes to you as an adult or not at all. She is playing games, games that married people don't play. Make her tell you how she is going to fix this. If she is not willing to be completely transparent with EVERYTHING, walk away. I hope that we are all wrong.
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post #55 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 05:53 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Jet, I am a wayward spouse. So, for what it is worth, here is my opinion. She is fooling around. I am not saying she has had actually sex yet, i can't speak to that, although it does seem suspicious. But there is too much "hinky" stuff going on with the internet. There is something that she is trying to hide. I agree that she is waiting for you to catch her. It sounds like she is experienced enough in things that if she didn't want you to know, you wouldn't. I also agree that you have to completely turn the table on her and make her come to you. She either comes to you as an adult or not at all. She is playing games, games that married people don't play. Make her tell you how she is going to fix this. If she is not willing to be completely transparent with EVERYTHING, walk away. I hope that we are all wrong.
I can. That bed didn't walk from fooling around, it took some pounding.


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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.
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post #56 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 06:48 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Late last night I was reading some of the technical info from weight lifters post (thanks by the way)I decided to hack into my wife's google play and take a look. So I got in, was only in her account for a few minutes I changed browsers came back and had been locked out and when I try to login it says the password had been changed. This is 230 in the morning. I guess she has her phone set up to notify her?? Very strange. I found where she had purchased a picture vault app, presumably for nude pics. I of course haven't seen anything like that. I also saw an app called Hushed for calling anonymously. Several of those purchases. It's very sad and I'm in a terrible place with this. It's very hard for me to not confront her very hard. I'm on the road and won't be home till Wednesday night. Thanks for all your help.

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The below narrative is aimed at a cheating spouse, that might be married to you. We need more proof, Jet Packed Pilot

.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .
That terrible place [you have mentioned] will still be "their" next Wednesday. Hang in there. Stay sober. Some of us TAM posters might be on your plane. She ain't worth an updraft or a fart from Hell.

If will be "THEIR" in your mind until "Dust do you part". Till you Depart, till you Off-Plain De-Plane, Dis-Embark....off.

Off of the grass covered Tarmac, the "known" living plane that we all fly "in", "with", "among", "atop". However your pumpkin processes it.

There is no immediate need to confront. The real need now is to prepare for a life without "this" women. Your wife checked out a while back. She is in baggage claim. She cannot leave "their". Too much baggage for her skinny arms, her little selfish back.

Very soon, she will, naturally, abandon all bags without handles. She will deny them. They are not hers. She cannot be linked to them. She will say, "Show me the Baggage Claim, Husband".
She will get out the barbecue propane tank and fill up the Gas Light. It will blind un-clever....overly kind and trusting fools.

Remember what Colin Powell said about the first invasion of Iraq. We will go in with Overwhelming Force. You need to do the same. Get so much crap on this lady that she will need a snow shovel to uncover her bare feet. Let the crap ooze up between those manicured toes.
Uncover the bull dung that she is wallowing in. Expose the rotting lies hidden and tattooed on her furry Wart Hog.

Sometimes I say "You have enough". You do not have enough for me. Sorry.

When you have enough to ration a hungry TAM army, jettison the toilet water at 50K ft. It will freeze solid long before hitting her 4-wheel drive [bed hopping] loon buggy.

Death from Above, her sex transport laid to waste by solid human awful offal.



Make sure your suit...case provides "those" handles for the "Dear One". The lesser half of you. The one with the deflated boobs.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #57 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Thanks everyone for your replies. I do believe it's more than sexting or just leading guys on. That was her MO before we got married and of course I didn't understand this or see this until we had actually gotten married, found out about her drug problem and started digging deeper. She likes to see how close she can get to the fire without getting burned. I think her knowing that another man wants her is enough or was enough, but I'm betting it's crossed over into sex. I also wonder if I've just flat been deceived and she's just a serial cheater. Someone suggested I strong arm her and sit down when I get in and look through her phone. I was thinking this already. I have her phone password so I had thought about just when she goes to sleep getting her phone and leaving the house with it and going to my mothers house and running a search on it. I really just don't need all this right now but you know who does? Me and alcohol don't mix. I left that mistress over ten years ago. But this isn't good for my sobriety. I will probably sign off here for a couple days to try and focus on work and well anything else till I get home. I'm grateful the concern, and appreciate all the comments and help.


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post #58 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 07:34 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Take care. Hang in there whatever happens you are not alone, you have us to help get you through it.



You do matter!
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post #59 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 09:25 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

OP look don't let her blame you for any of this is that's what they do. And OP you're going to need to support please update us at least because you're heads going to be stuck all in the ass and some good people here you can listen to that can guide you through the storm that's coming. Be strong do not for any reason out your hands on her... Be advised about when you confront her have a VAR (Voice activated recorder) recording or use an app on your phone going to cover your ass, if she's under the influence of any drugs they usually revert to going batsh!t crazy when the sh!t hits the fan she'll know that she's busted that will trigger her, that's when they go nuclear. She'll want to get you out of there ... not only to protect the affair but also her addiction will defend itself all cost. So to cover your a$$ from her reporting false DV Chargers (domestic violence) She won't even think twice to call Police Department.. and update US please.?

Spartans lay down your weapons.! "Persian come and get them"
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post #60 of 143 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 10:21 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

I'll bet she changed the password to her phone as well.
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