My Bed Started Walking - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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post #61 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:14 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

.


Spartans lay down your weapons.! "Persian come and get them"

Last edited by Sparta; 02-28-2017 at 12:45 AM.
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post #62 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 03:12 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

@jetpilot37 if she asks about the hack say "Damn it! Someone must have hacked our WiFi! I'll have to check the router settings and the WiFi settings on our anti virus software."

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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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post #63 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 09:35 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Thanks everyone for your replies. I do believe it's more than sexting or just leading guys on. That was her MO before we got married and of course I didn't understand this or see this until we had actually gotten married, found out about her drug problem and started digging deeper. She likes to see how close she can get to the fire without getting burned. I think her knowing that another man wants her is enough or was enough, but I'm betting it's crossed over into sex. I also wonder if I've just flat been deceived and she's just a serial cheater. Someone suggested I strong arm her and sit down when I get in and look through her phone. I was thinking this already. I have her phone password so I had thought about just when she goes to sleep getting her phone and leaving the house with it and going to my mothers house and running a search on it. I really just don't need all this right now but you know who does? Me and alcohol don't mix. I left that mistress over ten years ago. But this isn't good for my sobriety. I will probably sign off here for a couple days to try and focus on work and well anything else till I get home. I'm grateful the concern, and appreciate all the comments and help.
Your best bet is to spend a couple grand and hire a reputable P.I. S/He can gather more information in a couple of weeks than you could in two months. It would be worth the money for your piece of mind.

Your situation has more red flags than a construction site. She's definitely up to no good.

Quote:
She likes to see how close she can get to the fire without getting burned
This is the hallmark of an addictive personality. Addictive personalities love to live on the edge. It is the risk that gives her the thrill. Dangerous sex is the hottest sex.
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post #64 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:37 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

@jetpilot37 - I knew a lot of coke head chicks in college. They didn't get any easier to slay.

Next time before you go out of town, purchase a VAR and tape it under your bed or slip it into the lining of your box spring.

You'll have your answers.....

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #65 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 01:30 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by bandit.45 View Post
Your best bet is to spend a couple grand and hire a reputable P.I. S/He can gather more information in a couple of weeks than you could in two months. It would be worth the money for your piece of mind.

Your situation has more red flags than a construction site. She's definitely up to no good.



This is the hallmark of an addictive personality. Addictive personalities love to live on the edge. It is the risk that gives her the thrill. Dangerous sex is the hottest sex.
I agree with this.

I am just scratching my head about why he married her with his future pilot career and his catching her before married ? None-the-less, I would bail on her at this point
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post #66 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 01:55 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Wow, she messes with drugs and sexting and on top of all that she cheating on you. I would question while you need any other reasons to get rid of her. Tons of red flags. You don't need someone like her to get you messed up with these things with her.

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #67 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:15 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

No, CHILL OUT. Right now if I was on a plane flying that is in trouble with the pilot I am on the phone trying to buy life insurance cause the damn plane is going to crash.

First commandment of infidelity: it must end, either though divorce or repentance and reconcilation.

Second commandant: Never offer your proof, simply speak to an attorney, fill out all paperwork, including settlement offer and present tp WS and ask them to review. Begin 180 Critical Readings For Separation and Divorce - LoveShack.org Community Forums, DO NOT ask or give conditions for reconciliation.

Third Commandment: WS must do the heavy lifting which includes not being told what to do, but digging, digging and digging until they discover it. When they seek confination confirm or deny, offer why you accept or reject, offer insight and nuances for them to consider and encourage them to keep digging as there is more info before you will recommit. Use IC and posting here to keep a clear head.

Fourth Commandment: IC for both parties before MC. Beware of IC and MC in general they often do not only more harm then good but rather turn a nightmare into a holocaust. Reach them carefully seek advise here and else where before selection. Read just let them go.

How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #68 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:18 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Is it possible that she is a particularly violent masturbator?
It would take a pretty big engine on her vibe to move a bed that far....

Last edited by Steve1000; 02-28-2017 at 02:28 PM.
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post #69 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:24 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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I agree with this.

I am just scratching my head about why he married her with his future pilot career and his catching her before married ? None-the-less, I would bail on her at this point
Unless I mis-read, I think she did these things prior to them getting married, but he didn’t discover them until after they got married. The first post made it seem like he discovered them pre-marriage, but then there was a later post that made it sound like it happened before the marriage but he discovered after the marriage.

Not related to your post, but all of the people asking why he needs any more information, etc. Some people just want the proof, the actual smoking gun in order to leave. Without it, it’s just too easy to say “But what if they’re not……”

I'll get through this, one day at a time.
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post #70 of 140 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 02:29 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

I wish I could claim credit for this masterpiece but I can't. It belongs to very wise member from another website. It should be etched in the minds of every man and woman who has been the victim on infidelity.

Just Let Them Go

The end result?

The end result is to respect yourself in the end,
let go of the people that don't value you or respect you.

That is the end result.

The quickest way to get a cheating spouse back is to let them go with a smile on your face wishing them the best in life and hoping that everything works out in their relationship with their affair partner.

Seriously, the quickest way to get them back.

Nothing else works better or quicker.

Let them go.

Agree with them and their feelings,
"you should be with the OM, I hope he makes you happy, good bye"

Wouldn't that be true love?

If you really loved your spouse,
and wanted them to have what they really want in life which is the other person they're in love with,
wouldn't letting them go be the approach if you really love them?

Why focus on the affair or the drama associated with it?
Just let them go. Give them their freedom.

You can take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror everyday and improve yourself but do it for you, not for someone else, the changes will never stick when it's done for someone else, do it for your benefit and you will probably make those changes last much longer if not indefinitely - because it's for your benefit and you realize the importance and value in that benefit because YOU are involved.

I will never tell someone to change to entice a WAW back when she's been cheating on him. I don't care how bad a marriage, there is never an excuse for cheating. That is a personal decision that someone makes to cheat on their spouse. If a marriage is really bad, leave, get a divorce, speak up to your spouse and tell them flat out "this marriage sucks and if things don't change I'm going to leave you and find someone better" and if things don't improve, leave that person.

But cheating, no excuses.

Think about cheating.
A wayward spouse who cheats on their spouse goes behind their back, secretly, telling lies, feeling guilty, getting angry at their spouse for getting in the way of their fantasies but never owning up to their actions, never admitting what they're doing. If a person who cheats on their spouse felt justified in their actions, why hide and go behind their spouses backs when they start cheating, why lie, why make up excuses about late nights at work and going to a friends place and sleeping over because they drank too much and any other such nonsense?

Deep down, the cheating spouse knows there is something inherently wrong with their actions otherwise they wouldn't lie about their actions and hide what they're doing.

Fighting the affair? For what reason?
To compete with the OM or OW for your spouse?
What message does that communicate to your wayward spouse?
They have lots of value and you have none because now you have to compete with another person for their love? Competing with your wayward spouse's affair partner never works, it just prolongs an ugly drama filled process.

And for your last point,
The easiest way to show you will not tolerate cheating in your relationship is to let that person go. That is the easiest and most effective way to show this.

"Look wife/husband, I won't be in an open relationship with you, I won't give you X number of days, weeks, months to make your mind, if you really feel like you need to sit on the fence on this decision and can't decide between your affair partner and me well I will make the decision for you, you can be with them because I'm no longer an option. I love you and wish you a good life with them and hope it works out for you because it didn't work out for us. Now the best thing we can do for each other is to make this process as graceful and peaceful as possible for us and our children, I'll contact a lawyer/mediator and get started on the process of our legal separation/divorce."

You give them what they want.
You don't fight them on this issue.
You agree with their feelings,
they want to be with the other person, fine they should be with the other person, let them be with the other person.

You will never convince a person to change their feelings with your arguments and logic. You can not find one member on this website in a situation where they are dealing with infidelity where they got their spouse to change their mind about how they feel about their affair partner.

You can't say "don't love them, love me instead",
you can't say "look at me, I'm better in every way compared to your affair partner, pick me instead of them",
you can't say "you took marriage vows, you promised to love me"

I agree, you don't have to make it easy for your wayward spouse to have an affair, but when you let them go, "lovingly detach", you don't have to worry about making it easy for them. It's no longer your concern, they can have you or them but not both and not at the same time and since they've chosen to have an affair, they've made their choice, there is no profit in fighting that decision. Let them go and move on with your life, that is the quickest, easiest way to get them back.

You definitely don't support them financially and enable them, that would be weak, wussy, clingy, insecure behavior - something in you telling you that you need to support them financially while they're having an affair, hoping they'll realize how nice you are and come back to you.

Just let them go, have them move out or you move out and live a good life without them.


How to deal with an unrepentant spouse: an Irish person can tell a person to go to hell and have them so excited at the prospect they demand to know when, where the train is leaving and how to get a ticket. Then offer them a loan to get the ticket and a ride to the train station. Be Irish
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post #71 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 07:05 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

So JP, have you decided what course of action you will take?
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post #72 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 03:46 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

JetPilot please respond. You have diverged from your FPL. What is your vector?
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post #73 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 03:54 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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JetPilot please respond. You have diverged from your FPL. What is your vector?

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #74 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 08:25 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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So JP, have you decided what course of action you will take?


Looks like this flight is cancelled
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post #75 of 140 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 11:16 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Someone call the FAA. We lost him.
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