My Bed Started Walking - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 11:31 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Do we have yet another aviation mystery on our hands? It's like the third one in the past year.

I'm getting afraid to fly.



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post #77 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 01:50 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Not related to your post, but all of the people asking why he needs any more information, etc. Some people just want the proof, the actual smoking gun in order to leave. Without it, it’s just too easy to say “But what if they’re not……”
The other side is he came here for advice. Part of giving advice is stating the obvious because when you are in the thick of things, you become oblivious to what is right in front of you. Even if the person chooses to go all in, they need to hear the "why waste your money and time" argument as well.
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post #78 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:28 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Hopefully not a case of CFIT (Controlled Flight Into Terrain).
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post #79 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 06:16 PM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Hopefully not a case of CFIT (Controlled Flight Into Terrain).
Does it really matter how you hit it?
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post #80 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 12:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Hello everyone. First of all I want to apologize for taking so long to respond. As you all predicted, my world imploded shortly after I got home from my last trip and last posted on here.
She got careless, left an android tablet with no PW protection sitting in our dining room. I waited till she went to sleep then went through the tablet. Needless to say, I found plenty of concern. She was using anonymous phone apps to text the OM. At first I didn't understand who it was because she had the number listed under a male friend of ours name. This at first threw me. I photographed everything I found and decided on a plan. I made up a story that the OM had just called me to confess and make amends for sleeping with my wife. I said he sounded really drunk and wondered how he got my number. I used the name of a man I knew she had dated a couple times in the past and slept with prior to us meeting. There's a couple of men like that on her Facebook until he was already on my radar. And while going through her tablet I saw where she was obsessively looking at his Facebook page. Something told me then, that's your boy. So I went and woke her up as she was taking a nap it was late afternoon. I told her the above story that I had concocted, I acted very upset. She looks at me and says what did he say? She was trying to figure out an answer. I told her that this person had confessed to having a lot of sex with my wife and was trying to make amends. She said oh he is an absolute drunk and we only slept together once! I'll make this short and sweet. We talked for several hours she still has stuck to her guns that I was one time. And this was the only person in seven years that she slept with or had an affair with. I buy none of it except that she has slept with someone else. Initially I think the fixer in me, agreed to work through a counselor and I told her what I expected. But she has shown very little remorse with the exception of the first night. This reaction has amaze me. I have been unable to eat, well much of anything, not had much sleep and quite frankly wish I would have just gone through with the divorce instead of investigating. I have access to her android phone and could run Dr Fone on it, but I just am having enough trouble with the details and I do know. Another note, the OM, redneck alcoholic, Who has been in a lot of legal trouble. His life is in a downward spiral. People that know me and know her and have seen pictures of him can't fathom it. When I found out it was him I was more concerned for her mental state that she would choose to be with someone like that. She also confessed to abusing prescription medications as well. She also was very obsessed with him -there's a lot I don't know and like I said I just don't really want to know. I sincerely want to thank everyone on here for their input, you all have been very helpful. Once again I apologize for the delay in getting back. Two weeks later I'm just now able to function and somewhat of a normal manner.


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post #81 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 01:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Sorry for the grammar mistakes, I use a Dictaphone on my iPhone. Thanks again.


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post #82 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 01:06 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Sorry that what you suspected is the reality of it. But I'm not surprised.

Do you know what you want to do now?

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post #83 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 01:14 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

She's lying.

But does it really matter?

Kick her to the curb!

(Sorry man.)

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #84 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 01:53 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Another note, the OM, redneck alcoholic, Who has been in a lot of legal trouble. His life is in a downward spiral. People that know me and know her and have seen pictures of him can't fathom it. When I found out it was him I was more concerned for her mental state that she would choose to be with someone like that.

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If she's a victim of CSA she may feel shame and have little self esteem. Maybe she feels she deserves a guy like this.

Sorry man.

Time to move on.

“The time's gone by for sentiment and all that foolery. Mercy's all very well but after all it's justice that clinches the bargain.”


“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
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post #85 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 05:51 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

What is the next step, brother?


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post #86 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 07:49 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Quote:
Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Hello everyone. First of all I want to apologize for taking so long to respond. As you all predicted, my world imploded shortly after I got home from my last trip and last posted on here.
She got careless, left an android tablet with no PW protection sitting in our dining room. I waited till she went to sleep then went through the tablet. Needless to say, I found plenty of concern. She was using anonymous phone apps to text the OM. At first I didn't understand who it was because she had the number listed under a male friend of ours name. This at first threw me. I photographed everything I found and decided on a plan. I made up a story that the OM had just called me to confess and make amends for sleeping with my wife. I said he sounded really drunk and wondered how he got my number. I used the name of a man I knew she had dated a couple times in the past and slept with prior to us meeting. There's a couple of men like that on her Facebook until he was already on my radar. And while going through her tablet I saw where she was obsessively looking at his Facebook page. Something told me then, that's your boy. So I went and woke her up as she was taking a nap it was late afternoon. I told her the above story that I had concocted, I acted very upset. She looks at me and says what did he say? She was trying to figure out an answer. I told her that this person had confessed to having a lot of sex with my wife and was trying to make amends. She said oh he is an absolute drunk and we only slept together once! I'll make this short and sweet. We talked for several hours she still has stuck to her guns that I was one time. And this was the only person in seven years that she slept with or had an affair with. I buy none of it except that she has slept with someone else. Initially I think the fixer in me, agreed to work through a counselor and I told her what I expected. But she has shown very little remorse with the exception of the first night. This reaction has amaze me. I have been unable to eat, well much of anything, not had much sleep and quite frankly wish I would have just gone through with the divorce instead of investigating. I have access to her android phone and could run Dr Fone on it, but I just am having enough trouble with the details and I do know. Another note, the OM, redneck alcoholic, Who has been in a lot of legal trouble. His life is in a downward spiral. People that know me and know her and have seen pictures of him can't fathom it. When I found out it was him I was more concerned for her mental state that she would choose to be with someone like that. She also confessed to abusing prescription medications as well. She also was very obsessed with him -there's a lot I don't know and like I said I just don't really want to know. I sincerely want to thank everyone on here for their input, you all have been very helpful. Once again I apologize for the delay in getting back. Two weeks later I'm just now able to function and somewhat of a normal manner.


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This is unfortunately not uncommon when a spouse travels a lot for business. Your role in the marriage is to pay for everything, and as long as she doesn't think that's going away she's not going to be broken up about you being upset.

Sucks to find out that you're a utility. Been there. The only thing to do is jettison her.


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Your marriage reminds me of a guy dragging a dead whale across the beach.

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post #87 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:50 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
But she has shown very little remorse with the exception of the first night.
That's a non-starter for considering R.

She's trying to rug sweep. She doesn't grasp the reality of what she's done. You need to help her out.

Make an appointment with a divorce attorney and get a consultation. Don't tell her you did.

Insist that she gets an STD test, but don't don't have sex with her for now, even if she passes. Put her out of your bedroom.

Tell her that unless she demonstrates consistent remorse, transparency and willingness to do the heavy lifting to help you heal; that you're heading straight for D. If she turns around, you could possibly "consider" R, but you won't make any promises. Make her understand what it's like to lose her husband for cheating.

Give it a few weeks. Wait and see if that metaphoric slap in the face, changes her distorted reality, and whether she's even capable of genuine remorse.

Last edited by badmemory; 03-17-2017 at 11:28 AM.
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post #88 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:58 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

JP, sorry it turned out this way, but I'm not surprised.

In your state it may or may not matter to the divorce court that she cheated. If it does, and if you now have sex with her after her confession, the court may take that as de facto forgiveness on your part. Which could affect the divorce settlement greatly.

You need to consult with an atty immediately. Don't move out of your house, don't have sex with her, don't do anything until you talk to an atty.

Also, don't hesitate to use some time off from work if you need to. My chief pilot was very helpful and understanding. I had to miss a few trips over the span of several months.
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post #89 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 09:58 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

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Originally Posted by jetpilot37 View Post
Hello everyone. First of all I want to apologize for taking so long to respond. As you all predicted, my world imploded shortly after I got home from my last trip and last posted on here.
She got careless, left an android tablet with no PW protection sitting in our dining room. I waited till she went to sleep then went through the tablet. Needless to say, I found plenty of concern. She was using anonymous phone apps to text the OM. At first I didn't understand who it was because she had the number listed under a male friend of ours name. This at first threw me. I photographed everything I found and decided on a plan. I made up a story that the OM had just called me to confess and make amends for sleeping with my wife. I said he sounded really drunk and wondered how he got my number. I used the name of a man I knew she had dated a couple times in the past and slept with prior to us meeting. There's a couple of men like that on her Facebook until he was already on my radar. And while going through her tablet I saw where she was obsessively looking at his Facebook page. Something told me then, that's your boy. So I went and woke her up as she was taking a nap it was late afternoon. I told her the above story that I had concocted, I acted very upset. She looks at me and says what did he say? She was trying to figure out an answer. I told her that this person had confessed to having a lot of sex with my wife and was trying to make amends. She said oh he is an absolute drunk and we only slept together once! I'll make this short and sweet. We talked for several hours she still has stuck to her guns that I was one time. And this was the only person in seven years that she slept with or had an affair with. I buy none of it except that she has slept with someone else. Initially I think the fixer in me, agreed to work through a counselor and I told her what I expected. But she has shown very little remorse with the exception of the first night. This reaction has amaze me. I have been unable to eat, well much of anything, not had much sleep and quite frankly wish I would have just gone through with the divorce instead of investigating. I have access to her android phone and could run Dr Fone on it, but I just am having enough trouble with the details and I do know. Another note, the OM, redneck alcoholic, Who has been in a lot of legal trouble. His life is in a downward spiral. People that know me and know her and have seen pictures of him can't fathom it. When I found out it was him I was more concerned for her mental state that she would choose to be with someone like that. She also confessed to abusing prescription medications as well. She also was very obsessed with him -there's a lot I don't know and like I said I just don't really want to know. I sincerely want to thank everyone on here for their input, you all have been very helpful. Once again I apologize for the delay in getting back. Two weeks later I'm just now able to function and somewhat of a normal manner.


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So why not just divorce her. Staying with someone like this is not a path to happiness. Seriously she deserves a red-neck in a death spiral. Women like her are a dime a dozen. Not someone to be prized. You can do so much better. Being alone is better, especially with your job and lifestyle. You will never trust her again.
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post #90 of 143 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 11:15 AM
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Re: My Bed Started Walking

Yikes, so sorry to read the conclusion to this, but can't say that I'm surprised.
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