, thanks for the callout.
I think [PCOS] may be part of it, but the other issue is there's extensive abuse in her past. Definitely emotional and more than likely sexual. She can't recall any of her childhood however has admitted to remembering bits and pieces of sexual abuse. She says she doesn't remember who or what the circumstance or at what age.
Jetpilot, I agree with you and @Farsidejunky
that the sexual and emotional abuse may be largely responsible, particularly if it occurred in early childhood. Granted, most abused children do not develop a full-blown personality disorder. Yet, childhood abuse -- especially sexual abuse done by a family member -- greatly
raises the risk for developing a PD.
The PD most strongly associated with childhood sexual abuse is BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). See BPD and Childhood Sexual Abuse
and the study, Child Sex Abuse and BPD
. Also see Sexual Abuse and Psychiatric Disorders
and the study, Psychological Consequences of Sexual Abuse
I therefore suggest you take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs
to see if most sound very familiar. If so, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread
. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to join Farside,
and the other respondents in discussing them with you.
Learning to spot these warning signs will not enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues. Although these behavioral symptoms are easy to spot when you're living with the person, only a professional can determine whether they are so severe as to constitute full-blown BPD. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid a very painful situation -- e.g., avoid staying in a toxic marriage and, after the divorce, avoid running into the arms of another woman just like her.
notes, it is common for sexual activity to off a cliff right after the marriage -- if not right after the engagement -- whenever the spouse suffered sexual abuse in childhood. My exW, for example, had been sexually abused by her own father for years in childhood and she developed strong and persistent BPD traits.