Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Warm in the summer, cold in the winter
Re: Being pumped for info by BS?
And whose problem is that?
You're suggesting spreading rumour? - which you seem to see as on a par with fact. How's that supposed to help with the BW's "not knowing"?
OK, so IF the OP chooses to reach out and meet BW for coffee, OP invites questions. Specific questions, or questions with a specific nucleus eg questions like "I heard that..." or "I have a feeling that..." .. "...they used to disappear into an unused office and lock the door lunchtimes" [or whatever], do you know anything about that? To which OP can say "I heard rumours to that effect". And the BW's follow on will be .. who? when? where? said how often? who else knows?
All very difficult - indeed - to deal with, unless OP is content to immerse herself in rumour-mongering.
Even more difficult when you consider the last few lines of the first paragraph of OP's post #42
No, it's not great. The "friendship" will have been born out of the BW's need to know and/or have a shoulder to cry on. Once that purpose has been served for the BW, the BW will bow out of the "friendship" and OP - who has said she is looking to make more female friends - will not be a happy bunny
My advice to the OP is this: *IF* you choose to have coffee with the BW, resolve to yourself first that she is not to become a friend, that she is excluded from friendship-status by virtue of the circumstances of your getting together. Otherwise you'll end up disappointed and hurt.
Perhaps you missed, I would consider doing the following if I was in your position, part. I don't condone cheating, if someone asks me j will say this is the rumor going around and saying it's not verified. If it helps the betrayed spouse put things together then great, if it doesn't help, then so be it. I consider it spreading rumor if I keep repeating this to others at work or in my social circle, but telling the betrayed I don't think is spreading rumor. The betrayeds life just blew up, and I would offer all I've heard to them if verified or not, and informing them what is not verified.
Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.