Being pumped for info by BS?
I’ll try to keep this as clear as possible.
I work with a guy named Bob and a woman named Susie at my primary job. They both work in the office with me. Bob is married and so is Susie. Both of them have 4 children. I am not good friends with Susie or Bob, but due to the nature of my job, I talk to both of them quite often and am friendly with both of them. I am friends on Facebook with both of them, along with Bob’s wife who I’ve met at the Christmas party a few times and our company picnics, but that’s it. We’ll call her Mary. I have never hung out with Susie outside of work except the day before Thanksgiving this year when a large group of us went to a bar after work. At the bar, Susie, myself and another coworker we will call Angela took a picture together and posted it on facebook. We had a great time that night. I don’t have a lot of girlfriends so I was kind of happy that I’d kind of made a little bit of a connection with Susie, and a little more of a connection with Angela.
The following Tuesday, I come to work and Angela tells me that Susie walked out the day before. I was pretty shocked by this, but Susie could be a bit sensitive and overdramatic at times so I thought maybe she’d gotten frustrated with something and walked out in an emotional state. That night, I sent her a message on facebook and asked her what happened. All I got back was that work was taking up too much of her time, that she needed to spend more time focusing on being a mom and a wife. I told her I understood, but that I was sorry to see her go. I haven’t seen her since, but we are still friends on facebook.
Maybe Friday of the same week, Angela comes and tells me that the real reason Susie quit was because she was having an affair with Bob. Apparently her husband had taken her phone to take a picture of her with her kids and a suggestive text from Bob came through as he had the phone in his hand. He ran off with the phone, locked himself in the bathroom and read all of the texts. They stayed together, but the only way he would was if she quit her job and called Bob’s wife and told him. This was all confirmed by Susie to Angela. Angela was closer to Susie so she had asked Susie to go to lunch to get the real scoop on what happened. Angela was told and believes that it was just flirting/sexting, etc. and nothing more. Me, having been here at TAM for a year+, completely think that it was completely physical as there are indications they would go to lunch together several times a week as well. I tried to tell Angela that, but apparently she’s a bit naïve. It’s not really my place to convince Angela of what actually happened anyway. Angela has just been telling me about this as gossip at this point.
So Angela and I also work together at a bridal shop on weekends. This past Saturday, Angela went in at 10 and I went in at noon. When I went in at noon, clocked in and came around the corner, Angela had a customer. Bob’s wife Mary. Mary’s friend was getting married and Mary was there with her getting her wedding dress. I stopped and said hi to Mary. Just pleasant chit chat. She had recently got her hair done (she has beautiful long dark hair and had posted pictures of it on facebook a couple of days before) so I complimented her hair, asked how she was, she asked how I was, etc. Just normal chit chat you’d have with someone that you’ve only met a couple of times. I was also getting ready to get a customer so I was kind of walking as I was talking, getting my stuff prepared, etc.
I don’t end up seeing her before she leaves to say goodbye or anything like that. However, Angela comes up to me and says “well that was awkward”. I asked what. Apparently Mary said she looked familiar and then at one point said “Do you work at (insert name of our primary job). Angela said yes and apparently Mary sneered “Ohhhhh so YOU know Susie”. Angela says she responded “well I used to, but she doesn’t work with us anymore” and just left it at that.
Later that evening, I get home and I see a message pop up on my facebook from Mary. It says something along the lines of “I know we don’t talk very often, but I see a lot of your posts and you seem like you have some pain. I know pain. Is everything ok?” Now mind you, I’ve been trying to post only positive things on my facebook lately because I can get sucked into negative too easily. I responded to her “Well, 2016 wasn’t the greatest year for me, but I’ve taken charge of my life and it’s up to me how happy I am” with a smily face. So she responds to me that if I’d like to get a cup of coffee sometime, she’d like that. I responded that I would like that as well because I don’t have a lot of female friends and I’m really trying to branch out that way. She responds with saying “Or we can just go get margaritas sometime”. I just respond “Well, there’s always that instead of coffee, haha”. She responds with someone along the lines of maybe we could go work out, or we could work out and THEN go get margaritas, etc. At this point I’m kind of thinking things are getting weird. I start racking my brain to think of how many times I’ve actually been around her. I can think of 3. 2 Christmas parties for work and one company picnic. I think I’ve talked to her before this for a total of MAYBE 20 minutes? The offer of coffee sounded good. I kind of took it as we’d been friends on faceook for a while, we seemed to get along when we saw each other in person, maybe she just thought we’d clicked personality wise and since I’d run into her that day she thought maybe we’d make good friends and wanted to build a friendship. But after all of these messages that span over about an hour, I just kind of got a weird feeling. She ends up asking if I had plans that night. I told her I did because it was my night to run my 15 year old around and I was “Mom Taxi” for the night.
I never heard another word from her. She just stopped responding. I feel as if she contacted me, primed me for ‘friendship’ but actually wants to pump me for information about Bob and Susie. I don’t KNOW anything about Bob and Susie, other than what Angela has told me about her husband intercepting the text and making her quit her job and Susie downplaying the affair to Angela. I know NOTHING else. Angela also came up to me today and said that Bob came in this morning and told her that Susie told him that Angela said to her at the bridal shop “I’m so sorry for everything he put you through”. She said that Bob wasn’t aggressive about it and that he didn’t seem upset at all, he just asked her. She swears that she didn’t say that to Mary because she felt really awkward after she brought up Susie in the first place. I end up telling her about Mary contacting me and she thinks that Mary wants to meet me because she saw the picture from the night before Thanksgiving of me, her and Mary and assumes that I’m decent enough friends with her that I would know something.
My heart breaks for this girl, as I know how this feels. How desperately you’ll seek for any kind of information. Should I bring this up to this woman? That I don’t KNOW anything? I don’t mind meeting her for coffee or a drink if it is under the motivation to actually make a friendship. As I said, I don’t have a lot of girlfriends and I need them. But if I go under the guise of friendship, she pumps me for info and I don’t have any and I never hear from her again, I think it will make me feel used and pretty bad.
What do you think? Pumping me for info?
I'll get through this, one day at a time.