The thing of most suspicion to me here is that the idea was floated that the HPV was contracted by cheating yet it seems the wife hasn't put on any pressure that it came from the husband and that since she has not cheated, it must be from him. It was the opposite.... this is almost like a defacto admission of guilt. A wife that really hadn't cheated, that got diagnosed with an STD, would be extremely suspicious of the husband. Her lack of suspicion there is the biggest red flag in this story. What / how much grilling has she done of the OP egarding him being the source of the STD?
Did OP attend the appointments to hear the results first hand? Have you seen a copy of the actual test result? Do you know for sure that there is a second test to confirm what as already reported?
Regarding the door, I agree that even being behind a closed door when no other adult was in the house is very suspicious. I would have found it very strange to find my wife in a room with another man with the door closed, let alone locked.
What kind of lock was it, one that opens simply by turning the handle from the inside, doesn't seem that hard to open... or if it was a deadbolt, seems like it would be pretty obvious that someone locked it.
So, it was my wife's reaction I think that triggered my suspicion... the challenge is that there is so much going on that I don't know how to read what's she saying.
When she called me on the way home from the doctor's office, she started crying and talked initially about her fear of the results..... She thought they were looking exclusively for cancer I guess. then she mentioned the HPV and we talked briefly about what the implied. I left work immediately and met her at the house and we talked for a few hours...
First about the possibility of cancer... I did some research and that allayed both of our fears. As Primrose mentioned, it's highly unlikely cervical cancer would be result of this test, it's far more likely a condition called CIN or displasia (sp?) would be the result which would indicate a higher risk for cancer in the future and more frequent check ups.
No I never saw the test results, I only know what she told me and then what I found in my research.
Then we talked about HPV and where it could have come from. She was scared, distraught... at first all I could think was that she thought I had cheated. I spent a while reassuring her that was not now nor ever the case. I offered the polygraph... to get tested which turned out to be impossible.... then as we spoke, it struck me that she wasn't interrogating me... she wasn't angry, she was just scared....
She did say several times that no one other than me and her doctor's have ever touched her genitals... her specific words. Later in the conversation, I mentioned the troubles we'd had all those years ago and I specifically said that if something had happened there, I would want to know and that I would forgive her...
At the end of the conversation she offered, and I agreed, that we would agree to trust each other and not discuss it further until the results came back.
I've though about it a lot since Tuesday... I look at her acceptance in a couple of ways I suppose
1) She's scared about the medical test result
2) She trusts me and expects me to trust her
3) She's scared that I screwed up and she doesn't want to pursue it ... she's rug sweeping
4) She screwed up and hopes that I'll let the matter drop.
Against the advice I've received on this forum, I did try to discuss last night broadly the issues we had all those years ago. I thought I was approaching it softly. She stopped me and reminded me that we'd agreed to let the matter drop until the tests came back. So I dropped it.