None of us want you to believe there are no secrets but....the narrative of locked door, your home, you're not supposed to know/be home just does not add up to innocence. Further, I'm guessing your were assured that had never happened before finding W and OM in such a position.
I would not have bought that left handed smoke shifter.
I hear you... but it's hard to respond.
As I mentioned, I worked a lot.
in those days, I worked primarily out of my home office with frequent trips of different lengths.
I could and would get called out of the country for a month with a weeks notice.
The point I'm making is that if she wanted to cheat, she had the opportunity... as did I frankly.
I took special care at the time, and in fact I still do, to ensure I was never in a compromising position.
I did not dine alone with female co-workers, I never went in the hotel room of a co-worker, for a long time, I wouldn't even drink on those trips...
I explained those precautions to my wife at the time and she thought they were silly and that I was going to far.
Needless to say, she didn't take any similar precautions which lead to a number of arguments.
In the best possible light, I could say that see never took precautions because she was never tempted... I certainly took precautions because I was.
It's the recovering alcoholic that worries about drinking, not the person who doesn't feel a pull.
Since that time, as our children have grown and as some of the folks I expressed concern about turned out to be dirtbags, she now fully supports me.
I have had no reason to suspect anything for the past 8+ years... I use that number because that's about when we had a last big 'discussion' and where, I believe, we finally worked it out.