Re: Not sure what to do - Positive HPV test
Your wife admitted that she had intimate sexual contact with her friends when they were adolescents acting out a scene they saw in a movie. If any of those girls were sexually active willingly or were sexually abused, she could have gotten HPV from one of them. The virus can lay dormant for many years and detection has vastly improved in recent years, so it's entirely possible she just never tested positive before now.
It's also possible that she fooled around a bit, without full on sex, before you married and kept it secret.
Also, not all doctors give all patients HPV screening when doing a routine pap or routine "just in case" STD testing. At some offices, the patient has to specifically request HPV testing or show symptoms of HPV or a related disease. Your wife has had more than one abnormal pap, we now understand the link between certain HPV strains and cancer, so she was a candidate for an HPV test. It's entirely possible she wasn't given an HPV test before those wonky pap's.
And, lastly, somewhere around a decade or so ago you were having marital problems and your wife was showing some serious boundary issues with other men. That's about how long HPV could lay dormant. So, yeah, it's also possible your wife either had sex or some kind of sexual contact with another man. I know it's not something you want to believe is possible, but it is. As has been mentioned before, many a spouse has come here and to my other relationship forum certain their beloved could never...until the evidence became overwhelming.
It's not uncommon for people who married as virgins to wonder what sex is like with someone else. Some, maybe even many, give in to that curiosity. It's gotten to the point, reading so many "we've only ever been with each other and s/he cheated!" stories that I actually consider virgin marriages to be a caution flag for possible infidelity at some point between vows and death.
Plenty of those who espouse family values and are committed to their marriages lasting until one or the other dies have cheated. They know they won't leave, think they'll never get caught and, therefore, the marriage was never in any danger.
Not to mention, if I knew I married a virgin as a virgin, knew I didn't cheat, and tested positive for an STD...well, my reaction would be legendary. Frankly, I think her NOT freaking out on you is a bit suspicious.
I suggest a polygraph. For both of you. If neither has ever cheated or hidden pre-relationship sexual touching, you'll both be put at ease. If she cheated or hid pre-relationship sexual contact from you, then you'll know and be able to work from there.
* I started this post more than an hour ago, but got distracted making lunch, prepping dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, and getting the dogs their potty breaks. If others have made the same suggestions or more info has been posted...umm.. *blush*
Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.