Re: Not sure what to do - Positive HPV test
FTR, sorry you're here.
Once there is a question about trust, it is extremely difficult to regain it. It is what it is. So the first thing is to not panic. Wait to see what the retest shows. I know very little about HPV, so maybe these comments are silly, but, I would look into what is known about accidental infection via unclean dr office equipment. Also, somebody mentioned the 10 yr incubation before it tends to show up. I'd look into that as well. And, are there different types of tests which could be done, perhaps by a different lab too? If your wife was exposed to a different virus which this test may be giving a false positive on, maybe there is a different test which would not be triggered into a false positive.
I think once you get confirmation that there really is a positive on the HPV, you have some choices. One is to rug sweep. Just accept that she either cheated or didn't. Or she may have had more sexual contact with other men before you than she has admitted to. If you can happily live with those things, just shrug and accept that something along those lines is what happened and it doesn't matter what the details are.
You brought up a few incidents in the past which bothered you. And that is what bothers me. Your gut is your best early warning system! You should trust your gut. Now I completely understand the whole questioning your own judgment looking back at something that happened many years ago. Here's the thing, when you have all the correct information (or enough of it) the pieces come together into a clear picture. You don't have the information, and you cannot get it except one way. That one way is a polygraph. I am not much of a fan of polygraphs in your situation unless it becomes a true last resort for you to be able to cope with the marriage. It could be enough of a problem for her that it seriously damages her ability to be in the marriage. Now I also don't recommend sticking your head in the sand rather than try to get the real dope. So I suggest that now is not the time to decide on a polygraph, and I would keep it as a possible course of action somewhere off in the future when all other avenues are explored.
When she gets the new results, I suggest you verify it. See the report itself, or go with her to the doc's office. This way you can be sure it is true if she says it came back negative.
My understanding is that for men they can only diagnose HPV by taking skin samples from a wart. And, in men HPV tends to either disappear or go dormant after a while. If you haven't had any warts, you may or may not have been infected. If you do get any wart like growths, you could have them sampled.
Let's all hope this second test is a definitive negative.