It seems totally off that the two of them would be in a room together with the door closed. With the door locked I can see why you were kicking on the door.
At the time you were in a sexless marriage.
The two of you weren't getting along.....why?
It turns out your friend was picking all the low hanging fruit among your friends and more.
You were away from home often.
Your wife is a teacher but sahm at the time.
Now she has a std.
So many red flags I don't think you will ever believe nothing happened without a poly. The only way it could look worse is if they were in a bedroom.
Like others have said, the number of trainers being the third wheel in a marriage around here is unbelievable. Cheating teachers and nurses too.
Did your wife do work in the office? Except for being able to lock the door, why wouldn't they have been in the kitchen, living room, great room, or family room. It makes zero sense to me they would have been in the original e or a bedroom.
Why were the two of you have such serious issues that you were not have sex with each other? Under normal circumstances everyone that has as many redflags waving as you do the odds there were cheating, and you coming here, would be nearly one hundred percent.
I hope you're the one in a thousand.
The best thing is that she told you about it so quickly. If she knew she had been with someone else
I would think she would wait and see what a second test revealed and avoid making it look like she had been unfaithful.
Good points all... and I don't have an answer to why they were in the office... I'm not sure I ever asked it.
This took place about 3 months into the worst 6 months of our 29 year relationship. While we weren't separated, we weren't talking much, sleeping in different rooms, etc...
Why we were going through that patch is a long and involved question which would take a long time to answer.
Our sons were just over 3 and not quite a year old when it started.
My wife was likely suffering from postpartum depression and actually was diagnosed with depression a year or so later and started taking medication which she was taking for another few years.
My company had been acquired and my job changed significantly. I went from a recognized expert to one of a very large team with different processes and deliverables. I was in a period where I was having to prove myself in a highly competitive organization and that also feed my insecurities. Additionally, I went from a infrequent traveler to a much more frequent traveler often with little or no warning.
Frankly I did not handle things very well. I turned inward, I was less supportive than I should have been. I wasn't around as much to help with the kids. I look back on that period highly critical if my response and I undertook significant changes to myself and while you'd have to ask my wife how I did, things improved enough over the next 3 years that we decided to have another child and thus my beautiful little girl joined our family about four years later.
The net of all this is that my wife was in a place where she could have made a mistake and the were men around who would be very interested, which again is one of the reasons for my jealousy and insecurity. Again, I'm providing full disclosure here. While I never cheated, I wasn't (still am not) I was not perfect and my own behavior left a lot to be desired. If she did make a mistake just during this period and she told me it, I believe, while it would hurt like hell, I would be able to forgive her and get over it. As often is the case, the cover up may be worse than the crime. If she did cheat and she didn't tell me then... and hasn't since and she looked me in the eye two days ago and again promised she didn't ... and then I find out that she did.... I would look at that as a completely different type of betrayal.