Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Nowhere near where it's sunny enough to make me happy
Re: Not sure what to do - Positive HPV test
You will drive yourself crazy here. By the end of the day, half of the people here will have you convinced your wife cheated. Because pretty much everyone here in this forum has been betrayed or is the betrayer. Iíve been both. Most recently the betrayed. A few years ago, the betrayer. A lot of people here that have been betrayed canít look at anything as anything BUT infidelity. OMG, she was in the same ROOM as another man? Dump her cheating, wh*re a$$! But on the other hand, SO many people here have given the benefit of the doubt (I did) and been burned. Almost every story of suspected infidelity that comes through here ends up being confirmed infidelity. Weíve seen it a hundred times.
Youíll notice that people are focusing on the locked door. How long it took her to open it. How long was the delay in her opening the door after you started banging on it? Minutes? Seconds? You heard her talking, right? Thatís what drew you to that room. What kind of voices did you hear? You may not have heard words, but you probably heard tone of voice, inflection, etc. My husband generally goes outside when he gets a phone call (I do the same thing, I feel the need to pace when Iím talking and I donít want to hear the TV, the kids, etc.) I can generally hear him talking, but I canít make out the exact words. I can usually tell who he is talking to by the tone of his voice though. I can tell when itís a male friend because the tone and inflection is a little higher pitched, I may hear a word or two of slang thrown in there. Laughing. If heís talking to his mom, I donít hear a lot of actual talking from him, I hear a lot of ďuh huhĒ and ďyeahĒ, long pauses. If itís a business contact or someone he doesnít know well, itís rather even toned, business like, a lot of thank you and please. Strictly business tone of voice. So what did you hear? What tone of voice? Giggling and laughing? Hushed tones? Anger? Pleasurable sounds? It still doesnít make much sense that the door was locked if they didnít think anyone was home. What was their appearance when the door opened? Flushed? Nervous? Disheveled? Panicky? Voices shaky? How easily do your doors lock? My parents have a bathroom with a door handle that will lock if youíre not paying attention when you close the door. Because all it takes to lock it is to push in the handle. My doors in my current home thereís just a little turn knob, but you have to physically turn it 90 degrees to lock. My old house had all skeleton key locks. We have one door in our house know that just doesnít lock. How difficult is that door to lock? Is it feasible that he could have easily secretly locked it without her knowing? When you banged on the door and said it was locked, did you hear her say ďWhy is the door locked?Ē Or did she say something along the lines of ďhold on, the door is locked?Ē How far is this room into your home? Upstairs? By the front entrance? What reason would they have to be in this room? Is there a computer in there and she was showing him something? How normal is it for you to shut doors in your home when you walk in a room? I have 3 dogs. Theyíll all run in my room and jump on my bed if Iím not careful. So regardless of whatever reason Iím going into my bedroom, I will shut the door. Even if itís just to take my shoes off. But yet, unless Iím using the rest room, I never shut the bathroom door.
I'll get through this, one day at a time.