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Confession time...and update.

16K views 56 replies 24 participants last post by  threelittlestars 
#1 · (Edited)
#2 ·
My husband has completely changed in regards to weed. He does not miss smoking. He does not miss coughing, he just has rage at times, (Weed withdrawl) Because its BDSM, i can punish and control his anger. I have tools I and can lock him up or ball gag him.
If you guys aren't in marriage counseling yet, I'd sign up. Like TODAY....
 
#3 ·
Good job! Personally I hate weed, I've seen what it did to some very good employees. I'm very happy that he is going off so well. I've seen it return and hang on for months and months. I think that there was not a full commitment to quitting in those cases.

About the Punishments. I'm mildly submissive, I did a survey once that classed me as a Smart Ass, meaning that I am submissive but tend to fight back just to make sure Master is being strict enough. I like the structure of what you are doing, controlling his misbehavior with physical restraints. I'm a little worried about leaving him alone while restrained (it's a physical risk). I often find that a session resolves a lot of my feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Sort of pays the bill in my mind and lets me get past it. I hope your Man feels that way at the end of his sessions.

On the weight loss, you will get a lot of advice here. My advice is to do what your Doctor says. if your Doc doesn't give you a diet ask him to recommend someone who will. If the diet stops working, go in and get more advice. I'm on my 4th dr. supervised diet. losing 50 - 80 pounds is a tough job. Can you swim?
 
#9 ·
Well....it seems to work. The moment I think he is triggery with rage I send him to our room, I lock him up and gag him and tell him to go ahead and scream. He screams till he is hoarse and tired, then when he is tired I let him out.

Its utterly strange this new dynamic, but somehow currently its working and keeping us both accountable and in check.
"Lock him up and gag him".... That's what you call pragmatism. ;)
 
#10 ·
My wife also takes medical MJ for chronic pain management after she suffered nerve damage to her sciatic nerve. She doesn't smoke so she takes an oil that is merely a sunflower oil with a blend of 9% CBD and 7% thc. it is edible and she can simply take it on its own. Just like taking a teaspoon of sunflower oil. This allows her to take it in place of percocet and in doses just big enough to releave the pain without causing the intoxicating affects that come with smoking MJ. Of course if you take more you are going to get quite a buzz going but if you manage it properly you can find the right dosage for you that will give you the desired affects.
 
#11 ·
Yeah, with respect to MJ. I live in Canada, we are about to universally legalize for recreational use. We have a dichotomy between dispensaries for medical purposes and quasi-legal dispensaries for recreational purposes. Given that Washington state has followed Colorado in it's model, one should go back to one's PC physician or to someone who specializes in cannabis prescriptions for CBD. CBD is the non psychoactive part of MJ that is instrumental in treatment of several diseases. This is available in capsules and tinctures. It does not require smoking and will not get you "stoned".
 
#12 ·
My wife was prescribed Marinol (dronabinol) tablets to help her with the nausea and appetite loss during chemo. It contains the active ingredients of marijuana and it was certainly effective. It controlled her nausea and pain while letting her eat and keep it down. Of course the side affect was she got high and it was interesting to watch. After she got her appetite back, she refused to take any more because she didn't like the feeling of being high.

There is no need to smoke MJ when Marinol is available in tablet form with a prescription.
 
#15 ·
We are aware, He is not in a random drug screening branch that uses machinery, but they can drug screen him. However they have not in over 8 years. (He has not been smoking for 8 years, more like 4 or 5.) Now he is sober.



He saw a lot of people smoke at work... Or acted like they did. He felt comfy... He still is.



Anyway, his line of work did not require it so far. I am glad he has quit because it did scare me sometimes.


Knowing what work he does (you posted it) the smoking at work by his coworkers scares the crap out of me.

Looks like he lucked out at work by not being tested. Glad he is sober now.

Sounds like life is looking much better for you, him and family. It's good to read positive stories here.
 
#20 ·
Nice update and you made me laugh with your BDSM stuff. Trust is most important in this situations. Be carefull with him :)

Now back to your Marriage.
This is all good because you have a Plan. The two of you spend a lot of money on drugs. For your situation I can understand a little bit,but your Husband is going to deep and out of control.

Maybe you should try another medication just to save money and be healtier. I work in Hospital so I can ask one of the Doctors for advise :).
Doing Yoga is really nice way to stay heatly. Add some walk in the park with your Husband. This is nice way to grow closer with each other and have some time just for the two of you. If he refuses then order him,after all you are the Master :)

You said this month was good in your Marriage. Just be careful because one of you are going to slip. It takes a lot to work on Marriage,especially the damaged one. Jut be persistent and dont give up hope.

When you feel comfortable and good with money sign yourself for MC. You should know you cant force him.It has to be his decision and willingness to fight for Marriage.

I am cheering for you. Take it step by step.

Stay strong.
 
#24 ·
Geez.

Us.

Key.

Riced.

Been a while since I read through any of your threads and HOLY CRAP this guy sounds like a total nut job.

Not sure what to say other than that.

Oh, and "Divorce."
 
#29 ·
Duuuuuuddde

I used to smoke weed for Australia. I was an olympic standard, gold medal, stoned out of my mind pot head. Oh yeah

I have not touched it for around 25 years.

I totally get that dope is one of the best medications for lots of things. I also think that if you use it like a nice bottle of wine then it is far less destructive than alcohol. It is psychologically addictive which is a nice way of saying. "Geez that was good. Lets do it again." It is not physically addictive.

When you are gold medal pot head it has some side effects that you are seeing.
The major ones are
Paranoia
Short term memory loss
Paranoia

The last one in that list, whatever it was, is normally the reason people give up the weed. Everything you describe sounds like a burnt out pot head who went way, way too far.

It can take a few months to stabilize and the truth is that once the old brain thing has decided to link weed with Oh My God they are out to get me then the drug is no longer any fun. Ever.

Short term memory does come back . It takes a while though and when you give up it makes it more frustrating because you just lose a shoe all the time. You didn't know you forgot before because you were forgetting you forgot.

Anyway. Take it easy. be kind to yourself. It does all come back and life while clearer is not awful.
 
#32 ·
thanks mods for the deleting. I will behave. Now i can move on. Seeing that **** was a hella trigger for me. :( Thanks again guys.

I dont feel safe here at all, but it is nice to see so many are not like that.


To make a confession and basically be called a liar...well you can imagine it hurts. It takes vulnerability to make a confession. And i'm not sure i can be vulnerable again.
If something triggers you, report it. Use the little triangle button at the lower left of each post to report. Do not do go ballistic, name call, curse, and verbally attack others.
 
#31 ·
Okay...I have not been entirely honest with you all about extenuating troubles in my marriage. For valid reasons (I might add) But the need for dishonesty is no longer needed.

My husband is a Pot head. (I am one too to a degree) Washington legalized rec. weed almost two years ago I think... Maybe less. But anyway beside the point. He was a heavy pot head before my major car accident. I smoked on weekends, and sometimes after kids went to bed. But i was NOT a heavy user. Because I was not a very heavy user it was harder for my husband to lay off the weed suddenly because I was smoking for pain and getting stoned with him too now. (Yes i have a prescription, but he does not. And the reason is because they prescribed me percocet all the time and muscle relaxers, and it was too much too handle. I needed to not get dangerously addicted to pills.)

Anyway, you can imagine that his work would not smile kindly upon that. So while he smoked any reference to our use of it could jeopardize his job. So this is why the lack of full truth.

His smoking WAS off the charts, spending 600-800$ a MONTH on his/my habit, and me buying it for him (enabling him) My pain keeping me feeling like I needed it...AND not feeling I had any room to speak because I was using too. So, things didn't get done. Dreams didn't get built. Depression gets DEEPER AND DEEPER. Our marriage keeps crumbling.

He never wanted to do anything, (Because if he was home he was stoned, and it was rubbing off more and more on me. I stopped just medicating, now I was using it to cope with life. Something my husband had done for a long long time before. ((Years))

We were not present for the kids, we became angry at each other because we felt stuck... I wanted him to quit, but how can I ask that when I use too?

Well, things have completely 180'd in life, and I never want to go back to that way again.




We made a few LAYERED deals. Deal one. He wants an exclusive BDSM relationship for the next 6 months. Im master. (we are one month in)

I don't buy him weed, I can buy my medication for myself, but since he wont be smoking I can go to using it STRICTLY as medication (since that is the point of it, not to be abused).

On his side, a further motivation is I do yoga EVERYDAY for 30 min, for every day he is sober. We have a deal here too.

I am also pairing the yoga everyday with eating right, but that is not any part of the deal. Food habits are too easily broken, but 30 min a day Yoga I CAN DO.

With this time, He is sober now and we have saved nearly 700$ this month.

I am saving every dollar we used to spend on the weed and Im saving it in an account and we are using that to make our dreams happen.

I am so sorry for not shedding light on this facet of our story, but being that he is sober now and intends to be for life I feel it's an okay time to share this.


My plan? Yoga everyday, and eating right may help me lose the extra weight Im carrying in hopes that being in less pain will mean I can quit weed too. It's not good on my lungs and with my heart and health history I want to be 100% sober.
(I have tried MANY other medications. I don't want to damage my liver or kidneys. and this is chronic pain so unless I can get rid of the pain all together I may need to take something for life, but doctors think if I lost 50-80lbs, I would no longer have so much pain. So...Im going with that. I am hoping we will be a 100% sober household in a few months to a year.

My husband has completely changed in regards to weed. He does not miss smoking. He does not miss coughing, he just has rage at times, (Weed withdrawl) Because its BDSM, i can punish and control his anger. I have tools I and can lock him up or ball gag him. Sounds kinky...but in my mind off and on the last three four weeks he was a bit of an ass hole and I really had to do something. Well....it seems to work. The moment I think he is triggery with rage I send him to our room, I lock him up and gag him and tell him to go ahead and scream. He screams till he is hoarse and tired, then when he is tired I let him out.

Its utterly strange this new dynamic, but somehow currently its working and keeping us both accountable and in check.

I keep getting hopeful that this will work, and it seems to be, but this is not my idea of normal. Do we really just make our own rules in a marriage if we want?

Finances just got a hell of a LOT easier, His attitude when not ragy is AMAZING, not just submissive, he plays with the kids, he is happy and engaged... I have not seen him like this in years.

I am scared to death that it will go back to the way it was a month ago, (And i didn't even realize back then was bad, i thought it was improving, but this... this is 180 a different life, a different man. I don't know how to explain my surprise. But there is also fear... Fear that this will all derail. That because we were this good that the derailment will be devastating. I don't know if i have it in me to come back from another failure.

So, i have a lot of good to update, but also a lot of unsure feelings.
To each his own I say, but that seems really screwed up to me, but hey who am I to judge.
 
#34 ·
Stars,

If you don't feel safe posting this way, you can create a private social group and invite only the posters you trust.

You can go back through your threads and find the members who have been helpful.

And if anyone pissed you off, you can just block them from posting again.

Take a break from here. Come back when you are ready.

You have friends here.
 
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